Don't understand

Post Reply New Topic

I am wondering what people's experiences are with professionals who announce they don't have autism or Aspergers but rather, were hurt too much growing up. Which i did get hurt growing up, but then I said my daughter has Aspergers, and I'm pretty sure my mother's brother does too, to which the lady asked if I thought it was genetic and then said autism is caused by a neurotoxin. And some other stuff that's different than what's generally thought. Though not knowing the lady, I had described symptoms but did not actually say to her the words that I have ASD, but had chosen her because she sees people with adhd and ASD supposedly quite a bit. It's really confusing me right now.

So what I am wondering is, what are people's experiences with whether a person like this can provide effective treatment? She is a specialized trauma counselor and seems to be good at what she does, so I don't know whether to run away screaming which is my instinct or whether to give her a chance to do what she does and try to ignore the attitude that everything is caused by bad parenting, if that is possible.

I would give her a chance to do the trauma counseling, but if the ASD issue becomes a central disagreement between you and her and prevents her from doing a good job of trauma counseling, then I would ditch her quickly, within 3-5 sessions.

I say go with your instincts. Personally, I got really frustrated with the professionals who thought all my problems stemmed from childhood when what I wanted was practical help with the problems I was experiencing at that time.
If she's not willing to acknowledge ASD as a factor (which in my opinion is a huge factor) I would look for someone else. ASD is one lifelong trauma IMO. You need someone who understands this.

I don't think a trauma counselor is actually trained or allowed to do psychological diagnosis. So basically its not more then another person's opinion. Being a trauma specialist they may be biased in attributing things to trauma. Neurotoxins? Sounds like they have just some little piece of knowledge that they have applied inaccurately.

Yes, I agree; the "neurotoxin causes autism" idea is not mainstream science, nor even a seriously considered theory. It's not completely out of the ballpark, but it's not being considered as a central cause; it's more one of the many ideas on the fringes, mostly being studied by people who are working on epigenetics, wondering whether environmental factors activate autism genetics. She doesn't sound like she knows very much about autism.

You should try to determine how much autism knowledge you need from a trauma counselor--whether you can work with her, or whether her ignorance is going to hold you back. Don't take it personally if you're not a good match; that's not your fault, nor really hers considering she's not professionally responsible to be an autism expert.

There's more about autistic people that's like neurotypicals than there is that's different. If that's enough for you to work with her, then you could be fine, especially if she'll listen to you when you say, "Actually, I'm not like that," and believe you. One good indication of someone who's flexible is if they agree with statements like, "Introversion is a healthy personality style," or, "Eccentric people are usually mentally stable and happy." (Both statements are true, but some psychologists believe that happiness requires extroversion or that normalcy is the ideal.)

I'm so confused by this, she said my difficulty communicating stems from how my mother treated me, and I'm scared by the pressure to be normal that this puts on me. And she was asking about problems with relationships so of course I said yes, but then she kept asking whether I do mean things and I couldn't seem to get through that people feel like I am annoying a lot but I don't think anyone considers me mean. Weird yes, and people don't want to be my friend, but as far as I can tell people think I'm really nice, really sweet most of the time and the rest of the time just think I'm not interested in them. Why would she think I am mean to people because I have trouble with relationships, and des this matter?

she doesn't know about autism. she is biased because she is a trauma therapist. symptoms of trauma can sometimes mimic Asperger's. so if you are looking for help with autism, find someone else.

She's uninformed and sounds like she has a strong bias regarding her own whacked up theories and opinions. Ditch her.

Always trust your instincts.

Essentially I agree that this therapist's attributing of ASD issues to merely childhood issues sounds way off, in this case., So, I agree with that much in this case. She doesn't sound like she knows enough about autism to be a suitable person to help, and in this case she's way off by wanting to say everything's caused by childhood traumas.

But some here are wholesale attacking the "troubles caused by things from childhood" type of therapist, for all purposes, and that's not entirely fair or reasonable.

So, at the risk of digressing slightly from the original topic....

Yes, if someone lost a spouse and children and the house burned down, it's silly not to agree that the depression arising from that really is arising from that.

But if in fact the same theoretical person lost their husband because the marriage was a disaster, and the marriage was a disaster in part because the person has a chronic history of picking the wrong person to become close to, and the reason they do that is because they also have deep rooted and chronic self esteem, that CAN come from root cause of issues from childhood, low self esteem directly resulting from poor treatment by parents, etc.

I know that sounds too classically simplistic but there is plenty of substance to that line of therapy when it's appropriate.

I once had a counselor who had no problem acknowledging that my depression and despair was indeed caused my IMMEDIATE problems of having just had my second parent death and my marriage collapsing into divorce. Yet she also went deeper with me into the fact that I chose the wrong partner in the first place, which I did, hence the marital collapse. She was able to say BOTH that I had issues from childhood f*****g up my current relationships AND that my depression right now was more urgently to do with that I'd just gone through massive loss right then and was in an understandable state of grieving that didn't need "fixing" in and of itself, just time and healing.

I know the spectrum is known for black and white thinking but lets not just dismiss all therapists as doing it too, as not all of them do.

Having said that, again I agree with the OP about this particular instance of wrong attributing. But lets not tar all situations with the same brush.

You have beautiful flight patterns when you write!

I probably have been overreacting from being confused and feeling that if the lady feels my problems communicating and being social are because of my mother, than that must be the reason my daughter does, too, rather than Aspergers like she has been diagnosed with. But the lady expected me to be how she expected me to be, she is very nice and wants to be helpful, just, the pressure to meet her expectations felt overwhelming.

It's good to know I'm not alone trying to figure this out. Thank you all.

Most all of the psychs I saw believed I had a bunch of other things instead of Aspergers some of which were due to being bullied as a child & physical disabilities. I didn't feel like I got the best help from them but no one in my area really understood Aspergers or autism because I was told I seemed too intelligent to have anything on the autism spectrum. I just saw them because I didn't have better options.

I guess the way I took her message that people who can think can't be autistic, not said in those words but seemed that's what she meant, is that she meant if you are autistic, if you let down your guard and I really see you, then you're an idiot. It's hard not being angry and trying to understand she and everyone who talks this way are uninformed, and don't intend to be demeaning. It just feels that say, and I don't want to be educating her in this situation or having her all weird because occasionally I slip and misunderstand, take things literally, or forget eye contact etc. But knowing she works with other people on the spectrum and thinks this way is upsetting. I guess that's how the world works, though. And why sometimes I come to WrongPlanet.

I've not been very impressed with the psychologists that have tested me. One told me that I fit the DSM5 perfectly for HFA, but then said I couldn't be because I recognized a cartoon frog's facial expression. My brother says I waited too long to get a diagnosis, since I've spent most of my life studying expressions (I'm an artist and I still can't draw them right, but at least I can usually tell what expression someone has). She acted like people on the spectrum cannot learn how to tell when someone is no longer interested in them, nor can they learn how to read the typical physical signs of someone being happy or sad...
She also said I confused her because I'm both logical and creative, and "that's just not normal." -_- I also "screwed up" the IQ test and she had no idea what my IQ is. So because she deemed me too "social" my dad has been saying we have "Bartle Syndrome." My brother is asd and there are a couple cousins who got an official asd diagnosis, and considering we're all far too similar, I think it's just a matter of opinion on the psychologist's part.
The one who tested my 3 yr old son said that the label is only created by a bunch of people in a room and doesn't mean much other than being able to get kids help when they need it. At least, if it's agreed that they need help... At least they're more readily to help children.

So in my experience, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists are still not really sure what to agree on, it's not as much of a science as something tangible like being able to look at the genes and say "oh this is because of trauma" or "this is due to autism" so one person might consider someone to be on the spectrum while another thinks that they're not due to some small factor the first didn't think important. Definitely go with your instinct and I hope you can get the help you need.