Being pressured to come out of the closet

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I notice that a lot of people in the gay and autistic community pressure people to come out. I feel very conflicted about this. I understand why visibility is important, but I have some good reasons to stay closeted.

I'm closeted about my autism diagnosis because I don't think it's very accurate. I don't think I'm an accurate representation of an autistic person. I think that the autism community needs some accurate representation. It would do a mis-service to the autistic community for people like me to claim to be autistic.

I'm closeted about my sexuality because I'm too mentally unstable to deal with coming out. I tried to come out to my mom, but she said some hurtful things and that triggered a horrible obsession. This obsession has caused so much pain for me. I'm slowly starting to recover from it, but anything could make it way worse.

I came out in my early twenties and it was the best thing I ever did. However everyone is different, and you must only do it when you feel the time is right. It can be very difficult.

About your sexuality? Part of me wants to come out about that, but part of me knows I can't handle it right now. Mainly because of my Pure-O OCD issues. Whenever people show any signs of doubting my sexuality I start to doubt it as well. I'm not doubting it the way some average teen would. I'm doubting it the way an OCD sufferer would. Google search HOCD if you want to know what I mean.

I have heard of this. In fact, when I had girlfriends in my teens I was slightly homophobic, but knew deep down that I preferred boys and was more attracted to them than girls. So I was very confused

I've never really been pressured by others to come out. Only by myself. I'm out to many friends/family now, but not everyone. I'm still a bit guarded about it at work due to a homophobic legal situation I'm currently in the process of dealing with. I suppose I wasn't pressured by others to come out because I don't seem gay to others. People just generally assume I'm straight and I let them.

If you don't feel safe and comfortable about coming out, don't. About either of them.

Even in a supportive environment, there is going to be some fallout. If you're not ready to deal with that, the closet is the safest place to be.

I used to be out and proud (about the autism-- I'm as straight as straight can be). I got sick of dealing with the fallout from ignorant people who would not listen. You'd think my life would be proof of my functioning, but it's not-- let one thing go wrong and it's proof that I can't function (like NTs never drop a ball or have a bad day-- snort). I got sick of the pressure and crawled back into the closet, with no plans of coming out again any time soon.

I think you should stick to what is comfortable for you. I'm just curious as to why you think your diagnosis is not accurate? The spectrum is so wide and varied, I don't think we can have an "accurate representation."
I don't widely proclaim mine, in fact I'm not even sure my in-laws know (although I think they suspect, especially since my son was just diagnosed), but I do still like to speak out against misinformation. If anyone asks, I don't deny it. I'm not really sure if that's being in the closet or not, or maybe being halfway in?

I've been pressured to come out of the closet about being gay & I was NEVER gay. I just gave off the wrong vibe. Some also thought I was retorted & I never even heard of Aspergers or Autism at the time. I just knew I was dyslexic & had ADHD & that wasn't enough to defend everything.

I'm very interested in this thread. My 16-year old Aspie nephew is most likely gay but still closeted. I would like to be as supportive and helpful to him as possible.

I publicly came out about my autism Dx on Facebook a couple months ago. Even though it didn't really change anything, I'm glad I did because I want to be honest with people about who I am, and to help myself be more comfortable with showing my odd traits around people. I did it publicly to show that I'm comfortable with the fact that I'm autistic.

I haven't come out about being asexual yet. If it comes up, I will say I'm asexual, but I haven't publicly disclosed it. I've been asked a few times (once by my mom) if I was gay. I guess since I'm not interested in dating and I ton't talk about sex makes people think I'm gay.

Reminds me of a quote I once saw: "Asexuals: Confusing the f*** out of your gaydar like a boss"

It's hard to explain. I don't think I have a lot of core traits and it seems like a lot of my traits are caused by other stuff. My parents also had to lie about me in order for me to get diagnosed. They wanted me to get diagnosed because of funding. Even if I am autistic my "co-morbids" are way more severe than any "autistic traits" I may have. Because of my autism diagnosis my other issues have been neglected.

Why do you suspect he's gay?

Like in the old Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, The ugly Duckling. The ugly duck is not gonna come out of hiding(the closet), unless he know he's really a swan and can enter the world of swans. If all he sees is a world of ducks. He ain't coming out.

I am all for "coming out," but not if it makes a person uncomfortble. Autistics get too much pressure from NTs; and do not need it from our own people.

He have always been somewhat feminine in his demeanor. He has also admitted to his mom that he watches gay porn on a regular basis.

Just as a general rule...I wouldn't listen to ANYONE who wants to pressure me or other people about anything. Regardless of what it's about. That's just not cool and it's not their place to do that. It is none of their business.

It's your life. If you know you have good reasons not to do something, you're not ready, you just plain flat out don't want to, trust that. Don't allow anyone else to sway you.