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Feeling of superiority

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kamiyu910
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17 Oct 2014, 2:03 pm

How does one deal with feeling far superior to certain people?

I posed a philosophical question on my facebook (pretty basic, "Why don't more people question things? In society, in technology, in anything?") and I have someone commenting, trying to sound like she knows what she's talking about, but she contradicts herself multiple times and it just feels like she's telling me to shut up (for example, "Perhaps it best just to wonder about ourselves and not wonder if anyone else is seeking answers. I am, but my questions are not asked in certain company." or " By contrast understand yourself and your own mind leads to understanding others. How it's approached is different for everyone. Asking questions is great, but listening is becoming more of a lost art. Answers to questions aren't always instantaneous in the answer.")

I can't figure out why I feel as if I'm far superior to her. She's not understanding my comments, or if she is, she must think I'm stupid? And so I find myself feeling as if she's a mere worm and I am a far more advanced species and she's trying to say she's better than me. I feel apathetic towards her, like her comments are laughable. I have no idea why I feel this way, or if I'm even correct in my assessment.

How many others feel superior to others, especially NTs? And do you enjoy that feeling or despise it?


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olympiadis
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17 Oct 2014, 2:20 pm

kamiyu910 wrote:
I can't figure out why I feel as if I'm far superior to her. She's not understanding my comments, or if she is, she must think I'm stupid? And so I find myself feeling as if she's a mere worm and I am a far more advanced species and she's trying to say she's better than me.


I'm sure that you are correct.
Yes, she probably thinks you are dumb because she has dumbed down her interpretation of your comments and failed to understand your intent.
Not everyone will be able to engage in information sharing at the same level as you.
They dumb things down because they are either lazy or have no other choice.
Deep and/or complex thinking is very uncomfortable for a great many people, so they try to avoid it.

I do not enjoy this situation at all. It is frustrating and stressful to me. Others might describe the feeling as being offended by the environment of willful misconception.

I agree with your point that people do not question things competently at every step of a process like they should. This questioning requires what I describe as inhibition in the thinking process. You must stop at each step and analyze. You must exercise a type of checks & balances where different areas of the brain double-check over the conclusions of other areas.

Most people are less inhibited in their thinking and reach conclusions relatively quickly using intuitive feeling rather than conscious reasoning.



lostonearth35
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17 Oct 2014, 3:39 pm

Most people I know believe that I feel very inferior to most other people, that I'm too hard on myself and have very little self-confidence. But deep down I have feelings of superiority that make me feel almost extra-terrestrial. I think that is very wrong but not something I can really help because it's a like genetic trait nearly all humans have. Most humans believe they are better at most things than others even if they don't say it, that they're smarter and even have above-average IQ's (but most people have average IQ's or they wouldn't *be* average). I'd to ask those people if they even know what IQ stands for, and see how many of them guess Intelligence Quotient, and see how smart they feel if they don't. Most people think they're good, responsible drivers even when they act as if "coming to a complete stop" at a stop sign really means "slow down a few seconds, then continue to drive over the speed limit". Most people think they are "good", even when they are stealing, lying, or even murdering. I tend to think I am better at drawing cartoons than most people, I have been told my whole life that I am talented at drawing, especially for someone who has never taken lessons or relies on a computer to correct imperfections, and when I see all the fan art and fan fiction I wonder doesn't anyone come up with their own characters any more? Even as a kid I noticed how every other kid in my class would only draw whatever cartoons were popular at the time and wonder why they didn't try to come up with their own like I did. I have mixed feelings about fan fic since my own characters are like my children, and to see them engaging in R-rated sexual behavior or using drugs or getting cancer would be about as horrifying as parents seeing their real children doing it. But I know that's probably never going to happen since my characters will never be famous or popular, anyway... :(
Oh, wait. :?



olympiadis
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17 Oct 2014, 5:29 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Most people I know believe that I feel very inferior to most other people, that I'm too hard on myself and have very little self-confidence.


I don't feel inferior even though I think I am often treated more like a child than an adult. One thing in particular about me is that I seem to project an enormous lack of confidence, even though the I don't try to project that at all, and often I am not lacking the confidence, though it is true sometimes. It's just that people seem to ALWAYS read me as having a huge lack of confidence and that often makes them assume that I don't know what I'm talking about.

The expectation from NTs is that even if you only partially know anything for sure about what you're talking about, then you MUST project an image of complete confidence when communicating.

My expectation is that people actually listen to the content of my communications and use logic to reason through it.

I offend people often. To not feel inferior, and also not project confidence, is just a bad combination that people have a lot of problems with. I get a lot of strange looks when trying to communicate with people. They are looking for something so hard, and not listening to the content at all.

NTs also engage in a process that is a bit of the reverse of above. They will make a statement to me that I then analyze for content logically. When I respond to the content they often say "that's not what I said at all", even though I can repeat word for word exactly what they just said to me. Their intent was to communicate something totally different using means other than the content of their words. Their expectation was that I would just naturally pick up on the un-spoken intent.
When I tell them that I cannot hear unspoken words they get angry and accuse me of making some assumption.
Basically the assumption made is that they had meant exactly what they said and nothing more.
I tell them "No, the problem is that I did not make an assumption".

...and it never ends.



kamiyu910
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17 Oct 2014, 11:06 pm

olympiadis wrote:
My expectation is that people actually listen to the content of my communications and use logic to reason through it.

I offend people often. To not feel inferior, and also not project confidence, is just a bad combination that people have a lot of problems with. I get a lot of strange looks when trying to communicate with people. They are looking for something so hard, and not listening to the content at all.

NTs also engage in a process that is a bit of the reverse of above. They will make a statement to me that I then analyze for content logically. When I respond to the content they often say "that's not what I said at all", even though I can repeat word for word exactly what they just said to me. Their intent was to communicate something totally different using means other than the content of their words. Their expectation was that I would just naturally pick up on the un-spoken intent.
When I tell them that I cannot hear unspoken words they get angry and accuse me of making some assumption.
Basically the assumption made is that they had meant exactly what they said and nothing more.
I tell them "No, the problem is that I did not make an assumption".

...and it never ends.


Oh my word I cannot stand that. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Why can't people just do that? Even with all the studying of human behavior I've done, studying facial expressions and body language, I still fail at understanding a lot of things and can't figure out why people get mad at me. You'd think it'd be better online, but nooo... They try to transfer that hidden stuff into text and it doesn't even communicate to other NTs and it ends up starting fights. "But I didn't mean it like that!"
I actually just left a group because of that. They wouldn't actually *read* what I wrote, but assumed I meant something else. I think that feeds into the "superiority" feeling I get, because it feels like these people are just... I don't know, too stupid to understand simple words on a screen? They try so hard to make something out of nothing, sometimes, and I can't help but feel like I'm dealing with animals. Or at the very least, like I'm an alien... Standing outside a big glass dome, staring in at the humans, pounding on the glass but they're unable to hear me, or understand me.


lostonearth35 wrote:
Most people I know believe that I feel very inferior to most other people, that I'm too hard on myself and have very little self-confidence. But deep down I have feelings of superiority that make me feel almost extra-terrestrial. I think that is very wrong but not something I can really help because it's a like genetic trait nearly all humans have. Most humans believe they are better at most things than others even if they don't say it, that they're smarter and even have above-average IQ's (but most people have average IQ's or they wouldn't *be* average). I'd to ask those people if they even know what IQ stands for, and see how many of them guess Intelligence Quotient, and see how smart they feel if they don't. Most people think they're good, responsible drivers even when they act as if "coming to a complete stop" at a stop sign really means "slow down a few seconds, then continue to drive over the speed limit". Most people think they are "good", even when they are stealing, lying, or even murdering. I tend to think I am better at drawing cartoons than most people, I have been told my whole life that I am talented at drawing, especially for someone who has never taken lessons or relies on a computer to correct imperfections, and when I see all the fan art and fan fiction I wonder doesn't anyone come up with their own characters any more? Even as a kid I noticed how every other kid in my class would only draw whatever cartoons were popular at the time and wonder why they didn't try to come up with their own like I did. I have mixed feelings about fan fic since my own characters are like my children, and to see them engaging in R-rated sexual behavior or using drugs or getting cancer would be about as horrifying as parents seeing their real children doing it. But I know that's probably never going to happen since my characters will never be famous or popular, anyway... Sad
Oh, wait.


On the subject of art, I create many original characters, each with their own personality, both in written form and drawn. There are some amazing fan art pieces out there, but those are from professional artists. I have little idea as to why more people would prefer drawing an already created character. Maybe because it's easier to copy that which is already there? Although, thinking about it, it probably has a lot more to do with idolizing that character.


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progaspie
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18 Oct 2014, 4:18 am

I think it's wrong to feel a sense of superiority or inferiority over someone else, because all it does is lead to elitism and intolerance in the world. There's already enough intolerance in the world without adding to it. Having AS is beneficial in the sense of being a good listener, not making assumptions, dealing with the facts and mostly being honest and loyal to people we respect. The disadvantages of AS are numerous and balance out most of the positives. We all need to get on with everybody else to make the world a better place.



Zajie
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18 Oct 2014, 6:40 am

I get that feeling a lot and do enjoy it but then I realize its wrong and think that everyone is equal no one is superior or inferior to anyone



olympiadis
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18 Oct 2014, 12:03 pm

Zajie wrote:
I get that feeling a lot and do enjoy it but then I realize its wrong and think that everyone is equal no one is superior or inferior to anyone


I think it is wrong in principle, but technically correct that no one or form of life is really equal to another. I believe the relevant point is that all life should be respected and for the most part treated with equal consideration where possible.

Either assuming, or expecting equality is just asking for problems because it is not logically proper.
On the other hand, each individual should be responsible for realizing true inequalities and not allowing their emotions to create hurt feelings over something that nothing can be done about.
If all life is respected the same, then this shouldn't be such a problem.

The reality is that there's no possibility that people will start behaving in this way. At present, most people do the exact opposite of what I suggest.



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19 Oct 2014, 2:56 pm

olympiadis wrote:
Zajie wrote:
I get that feeling a lot and do enjoy it but then I realize its wrong and think that everyone is equal no one is superior or inferior to anyone


I think it is wrong in principle, but technically correct that no one or form of life is really equal to another. I believe the relevant point is that all life should be respected and for the most part treated with equal consideration where possible.

Either assuming, or expecting equality is just asking for problems because it is not logically proper.
On the other hand, each individual should be responsible for realizing true inequalities and not allowing their emotions to create hurt feelings over something that nothing can be done about.
If all life is respected the same, then this shouldn't be such a problem.

The reality is that there's no possibility that people will start behaving in this way. At present, most people do the exact opposite of what I suggest.


I meant all humans are equal and the same to me.
I agree with you.
All forms of life should be respected equally; everything has its own role in making up the world we live in no matter how small or insignicant it is.