I'm not sure whether it's because I am intimate with someone who has Aspergers or because it's my own confusions or both but last night me and her had an intense discussion about our needs for ourselves and each other and it escalated into a small disagreement but during those 5 minutes of heated talk I suddenly got so confused. I put my head into my hands and started crying because a) I could not understand what on earth I was feeling at the time and b) I could not intellectually grasp the dynamics of the disagreement and whose fault was what and where it was going. I was really struggling to understand where the conversation started and how it ended.
Most of the time I feel unsure of my feelings. I'm torn away from them from past trauma but I suspect it is also because I might very well be Aspergers. Looootts and lots of signs point to it.
Ho hum..does anyone else feel such a way and confusion with close relationships? Trying to understand what closeness is about? I certainly go through a lot of uncertainty thus far. Were both depressed but were honest with each other. Very honest, which is great but when it comes to being in contact with someone who is unpredictable, I become very vigilant, focused, worried, and everything seems like a puzzle. I'm never sure what to do. She seems to feel the same way about me.
Right now were having space, which feels good. Only for a few hours hopefully but those few hours work wonders for my mind and for hers. To reset ourselves.
Does anyone else have difficulties with being in a very intimate relationship? It's new and puzzling but very interesting too, albeit scary as well.
25 Oct 2014, 12:17 pm
