Life Experience Gap

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It seems to me that the life experience gap has widened as I've gotten older. It was almost non-existent when I was in my 20s; a little bit in my early 30s and has continually widened in my 40s and 50s. I find I have very little credibility when someone is talking about their children going to college or how they are coping with being a grandparent and I have never been married. I realize it does not matter how intelligent I may be or act but if I lack the life experience markers that others my age have experienced I will be viewed with suspicion and distain. Do you think this is applicable to all Aspies?

Yep....I feel the same way.

I have no kids, either.

I should have been a grandparent by now LOL

I've had some life experience, but not as much as most 53 year olds, probably.

I have some regrets--but I try not to let them rule me.

I have to work with what I got.

I'm 39 and I feel the same way... :-/

I'm 39 with a wife of six years and two little girls. I'm about five o ten years behind most NTs in terms of personal and career development but not that far off the wagon that I can't hold a conversation about family or career. I often regret the choices that pushed me back but am thankful I turned it around.

Yep I've noticed a huge difference now in my 30s vs. being in my 20s. Especially living in a really conservative area, most people my age are all settled down and married with children.

I'm so sick of people asking me WHY I don't have children. None of their business and it just makes me feel like they are suspicious of me.

Yeah some people definitely take a superior attitude like they must know so much better than you. Even if their "life experiences" have been mostly disasters and failures.

I am 57 years old, never married, and have no children. I think that my life experience gap was already wide when I was in my teens. I was not interested in pop culture and had very few friends.

I think I would have done better, overall, if I had kids. I might have had some problems early on, but I would have probably learned from "hard experience."

Thanks for the responses people. Maybe it is because I live in a very rural area that I feel I get a negative response from some people (including family)

I've not had as many experiences to miss out on as you guys but I already feel this way. My friends have lived on their own, dealt with hangovers, learned to drive, etc.

I've done lots of things that many of them haven't - crossing the Atlantic on my own being the big one, but also holding down two part-time jobs, I cook proper meals rather than getting takeaways or ready meals... but it still stings to not have done these things that all my friends have done.

I have noticed this as well. I have this constant pain of disappointment that I am not where I should be. It has always seemed like others my age have accomplished much more in their lives.

kraftiekortie - I had my first child at 40. Another at 42 and another on the way. In my experience you are correct in your assumption in that it does force you to do better. Not necessarily well or exemplary but better. The challenge is that I am constantly in sensory overload; esp when the kids are talking at the same time.

I've experienced something similar; I'm in my 30s and while NTs are at least 10 years int their careers and have spouses and families, i'm only about 5 years along in my career and am still single--can't keep a boyfriend down! And yet, I'm full of other life experiences that compensate a bit for the non-traditionalist aspect of me. I think because we act younger than our chronological ages, we end up looking like it, too--I routinely get expressions of shock when I tell people how old I am--they always guess my ages as being in my mid-20s.

I noticed a huge gap sense I was little

I feel this very strongly and it gets worse as I get older.

It makes it harder to attend social gatherings with people of my age because I have so little to contribute.