She keeps picking...?

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So, my best friend and roommate is an Aspie girl, and I am kind of concerned for her but don't know what to do/how to word this to say to her...?
Should I be concerned?
Should I even say anything?

She keeps on picking at herself, and if there is no more dead skin, scab, etc. to pick at she will MAKE something to pick at. (this has only happened the last 4-6 months)

Before it was always just a nervous/anxious thing when she would pick at herself, but now it seems more like a habit and it is getting worse.
- and before it was only at existing things, not ones that she made

when we were kids (known each other since about 1st grade) she always picked, so I was used to it and I didn't really think anything of it. But she keeps doing it and it seems a little bit more like a self harm...
If there is nothing left to pick at she will pick a random spot and start scratching/picking until it bleeds, let it scab, and repeat.
She does it a lot on her legs, A LOT on her hands and arms, and a few times on her stomach.
but now the most alarming is on her head, she will scratch and pick at her scalp until all of her finger tips come back red with blood...

It is REALLY alarming.
Is this something that I should mention to her, or would mentioning it make her upset or make this worse..?
How would I even begin to word this?

Thanks in advance.
(and I apologize for any spelling, grammar, etc. errors, it is late and I am tired.)

This doesn't really sound like something in relation to autism. I would just sit her down and have an open conversation about it.

EDIT- Yeah, I'd recommend that she receive professional help, but you need to address it in a way that's not cornering. At the end of the day, you can't force her to seek help.

Last edited by calstar2 on 23 Oct 2014, 3:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

This sounds like obsessive self-harming behaviour. It is serious.

You can have a talk with her about it. But she may need professional help for this. She is not going to be in control of this behaviour.

I have OCD and dermatillomania. I pick at my skin to the point that I have cuts and bruises. It used to be way worse, but I had CBT for the OCD which has helped a lot.

I suggest she seeks psychological help.

One of my "stims" is picking in a similar way to your friend, but I'm not nearly half as severe in the habit as it sounds like she is. And yes, I have in fact read that it can be an autistic stim for some people on the spectrum. Here on WP alone a lot of people have posted that they skin pick and they've opined that it appears to be a stim of theirs.

I mostly target just two areas: my left thumb, and one scab on my scalp, under my hair. I don't attack any other places or create a place. I figure that if this level of picking somehow soothes me or helps me as a distraction activity, then I allow myself to do it.

I would have said the same thing for your friend -- if picking is something that she feels helps her to stay calm or get calm, etc. However, if she's doing it all over her body, drawing blood and creating pain, etc, that seems to be approaching self harm territory. I don't consider my picking "self harming" because I don't do it for pain or blood and it doesn't hurt, it's just interesting and soothing in a weird way. It doesn't cause any problems to me and if it bothers another person then that's their problem and not mine. It's an activity I've done all my life and seem to need to do, so in my case where's the harm.

I used to be ashamed of my thumb and tried to stop, but stopping just made me go to other things like intense hair-twirling until my hair was in knots and falling out. I'd rather just pick my thumb, so I went back to that.

I suppose the severity of your friend's habit may need help, but I don't know if it just seems severe to you or if she really is wrecking her whole skin.

By calstar:

Have you not seen topics right here on WP where many members have said they skin pick and that, in their opinion, they do feel it is one of their stim behaviors?

I''m not saying it's a diagnostic criterion or anything, because it's not, but it IS found anecdotally to be mildly common as a stimming behavior by a fair few on the spectrum, thus it's misleading to outright state that it "doesn't really sound" like something related to autism. It absolutely can often be.

I'm a compulsive skin-picker. Any spots or scratches I have take ages to heal because I keep opening them up again. I pick at my lips and scalp too. My SO has taken to slapping me when he catches me skin-picking. It doesn't deter me much.
If it's concerning you I would say something.

I only said that to imply that maybe he'd want to seek suggestions elsewhere like a forum for compulsive skin picking or something similar (which I probably should have just outright said) as it seems like it would probably be because of a comorbid and not autism itself. I pick my lips as a stim and I know a lot of NTs that pick to a degree for stimming, but I am not sure if it's *just* a stim if it gets to this point.

Sometimes it is the result of a chemical imbalance caused by a mediation, or drug abuse.

If your friend is on any medications they should be checked for the side effect of itching. I used to pick and basically quit for years until a well meaning Doc put me on a medication that triggered it. It had other side effects so i quit and a few weeks later the picking stopped.
An antihistamine might help show if it's a skin allergy or not.
I also found it helps to use pure soaps (including laundry soap) and a good moisturizer, maybe more than once a day. Then there is always cosmetic gloves to sleep in too, and crafts to keep the hands busy, like needlepoint.

I had BAD Atopic Dermatitis as a kid which is a form of skin eczema that made me itch aLOT & I scratch when I itch. Scratching developed into a habit I did when I was upset or angry. It would be good to find out if she itches when she scratches sometimes because if so she could have an underlying skin disorder that can be treated by a doc. Her scathing still turned into a bad habit even if she has a skin disorder but skin disorder would need to be addressed in order to better deal with her compulsion habit.

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Last edited by Lumi on 24 Oct 2014, 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've had Dermatillomania since before I can remember. I can't remeber a time when I didn't pick at the skin around my fingers and thumbs. Quite often, I go too far and make my fingers bleed.

I'm also a wolf-biter (Dermatophagia) since before I can remember.

I do it basically 24/7. A lot of the time, I don't even know I'm doing it but when I am aware that I'm doing it, I enjoy it. I realise by the age of 47, I'm never going to pick it smooth but I keep trying.

I've read finger picking is regarded as a form of stimming.

Itching and excessive scratching can be a sign of disease, especially liver trouble.

I have bitten my nails for years, pick at my cuticles, try to smooth any bumpy spots on my face and scalp. I too have a few spots on my scalp that I can't seem to leave alone. Sometimes I find myself picking at those spots on my scalp so much that I am bleeding a lot. I don't do it in public as much. The worst of it usually happens at home. I don't talk about it because I find it embarrassing. My OCD fear of infection with some deadly disease doesn't counteract these habits much.

I don't know how you can live with that going on to the point it does in your room mate. It would seriously get to my OCD. I don't do other people's blood.

I don't know what to say about how to talk to her about it other than that I sometimes worry about developing a bald spot there if I don't let it heal completely from repeated scarring to the hair follicles. Perhaps this might concern her? That she might go bald or end up with a thinner patch of hair there?

She really needs to curb the self-damage, but the only way to do that is to replace it with another stim and only she can manage that.

Yes, sounds like possible dermatillomania to me....I have that, too. I've bitten and picked at my fingernails/cuticles since I was about 11 or 12 years old. It's something I do out of anxiety, or when I'm nervous or just bored. It does hurt, but you sort of come to ignore the pain after awhile, and it actually kind of becomes something you feel like you HAVE to do. The psychiatrist I've seen has told me that it could possibly be related to OCD.

However, there are some things one can do to keep from picking at their skin...here are a few things that I have found helpful - without the use of things like bad-tasting stuff you put on your fingertips to discourage it....people shouldn't be punished for dermatillomania; it's not their fault.

Anyway:

- Find something - anything - you can fidget or stim with. For me, these objects are usually two smooth stones, a Tangle toy, or a small stuffed animal that can be concealed in a pocket. If feelings of anxiety or boredom are what drive you to pick, then having something that feels nice, soft, or smooth to stroke, rub, or pinch may satisfy the urge to pick (my stuffed chicken, Babs, LOVES to have her little feet pinched, stroked, and tickled by me! ) Tumblr also has links to tutorials for making tiny fidget beanbags - just search for "fidget toys" (Do NOT do a search for "stim toys," tho - trust me.).

- Sitting on your hands while you are seated in chair might be helpful, too.

- Put some healing lotion on wherever you pick, and cover them with band-aids...the band-aid and the lotion help to serve as reminders "not to touch."

- Spinner rings that you can wear on hands where you usually "pick" can help, too. They are rings with a "spinny" component in the middle that you can twirl with your fingers.

I'll post some more if I can think of anything else! You're a good friend to want to seek advice on your roommate's behalf, OP.