Starting Over

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I'm long in the tooth now. Last year I had a second bout of surgery for an aortic dissection. That caused Chronic Kidney Failure, so I get myself hooked up to a machine every night. But life's not so bad. I have felt is this all I've made of my life, but why should money and the nice house be the signs of success. I lost the house in divorce. Feeling a bit depressed I've taken advantage of having the services of a Renal Department psychologist.

At the least talking to this lady will help me evaluate what I can realistically aim for. Added to that she is all for the answer being in oneself. I like that. She has told me to look at Jon Kkabat-Zinn, a doctor who believes meditation in a certain way can help clear the mind and I hope all those hurts picked up in life. Maybe he has a special application for older people who have suffered from Aspergers throughout their lives. The hurts picked up and stored away under the surface may be considerable.

I has apparently overcome so much and life was good, until the second surgery which knocked me down. Can I pick myself up and move on again. You bet I can. Kabat-Zinn is all for the idea that our thoughts are the real thing. I want to clear out all that junk and even at my age start over. I may not get a new pair of kidneys, but I want it clear in my mind that life is good.

I like your spirits. Of course you can achieve new things in life. You cannot get rid of your experiences. You had them and they are there for good, but you can make them hurt less and make room for new aspects of life. Go for it!

Very sorry to hear of your bad luck. It's brave of you to keep going. I think there's something in meditation as a therapy. Zen usually makes me feel better. I think you're right about the house and lots of money ultimately having little to do with happiness. I think people get used to their possessions till they don't really value them, and it's the same with frugality. It's often just the acquisition or the loss that pulls on the emotions.

I just applied as a bioinformatics developer for a firm specializing in dialysis support. It would be a great challenge and a great honor to be able to help people in your shoes. In a strange way I know a lot of how you feel; my physical health has taken an aisle seat in favor of my mental health and professional stability. My family just wants me to make money and they don't legitimately care how I do it. I've been studying for 10-11 days at this point and that includes 4 or 5 all nighters. Never been married but I know a thing or nine about divorces.

The universe needn't be friendly to be a marvelously beautiful place. I've spent my life learning that the hard way.

I also know if you stay tough enough, sooner or later a shiny new set of collagen matrix printed stem-cultured kidney will be yours at last!

Thanks for the support Jensen. I've begun a painting class and it feels a bit like beginning again.

Hi ToughDiamond, I recently read about Warren Buffet. He hasn't had the big house and lives on a relatively minimal income. He says the greatest thing to to love and be loved.

cberg, It can be difficult when we get pressure from elsewhere. Artists and creatives, generally rarely make money. I trust you'll have a good, rewarding career, with an acceptable income.

I have been noticing this in myself. A lifetime of constantly reframing things to keep a positive spin on life has worked well enough to heal the scars life has tossed my way. But now, with age I am finding that healed scars still leave behind an accumulation of scar tissue . Thanks for the meditation reference; I will follow up on it.

How exactly did the surgery cause kidney failure?

Hi Marky. I'm beginng to break through now. I'm getting round to possibilities with my life. These things will give me a sense of self value. Of course I am facing the same problems as any pensioner my age.

I'm not the person to ask but if you google this

Thoracic aortic dissection surgery Chronic Kidney Failure

you'll get many qualified answers to your question. It may be ue to lack of blood supply to the kidneys.