problems with others bothering possessions

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TheWrithing
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30 Oct 2014, 2:34 pm

I am not entirely sure if this is a singular problem or widespread with autistics, but does anyone else get irritated or infuriated when someone bothers or uses something that is yours, that you bought? Basically regardless of ignorance or not knowing and not caring? I get so incredibly infuriated and it's as though I have to even go so far as to mark my GD initials on my things which I don't want bothered. Why should I have to do this? WHY?! I want so badly to have a place of my own but I can't due to my limitations, mostly monetary. Instead, I live with my family, simmering at the notion that I must endure their violating of what is mine. I know this isn't good for my state of mind, and I hate it with a fiery intensity.



Last edited by TheWrithing on 30 Oct 2014, 3:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Lazershow
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30 Oct 2014, 2:57 pm

Yeah i know what you mean. I like to have my things in certain places and positions, but when my friends come over they pick things up move them from their original places, and have no respect for my house or possessions. It drives me crazy sometimes.



andrethemoogle
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30 Oct 2014, 4:13 pm

I don't let people touch my belongings, aside from two people, my mom and my dad. Even then I'm hesitant but I know they won't break them.



TheWrithing
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30 Oct 2014, 4:34 pm

I suppose it does not help much when through a lifetime of challenges and disappointments you have built a mutual distaste for one parent and both of you much have an unspoken loathing for each others existence. I'd much sooner my father perish of natural causes than allow him to violate that which is mine. My mother, I am much more kindly to because she understands me, loves me and is my nurturer during bad moments to much a greater extent.

He has very much dug his own grave in terms of hostility, hatred and basically estranging me as well as defining me through my problems. I have the choice to hate him, but it's to great to deny by now. I've no interest in liking, much less tolerating him.



AspieUtah
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30 Oct 2014, 4:42 pm

Yep. I don't like my stuff touched (my family and friends used to tease me by moving stuff on my desk ever so slightly or leaving a single thumbprint on my computer monitor). Hehe, I admit their teasing was funny.

But, more often, they ask if they can borrow a book, DVD or something else. I have always, and I mean every time, had these items scratched, dented or destroyed altogether after weeks of absence. I now explain that I don't lend "because others have essentially wrecked my copies" (which is very true). Occasionally, I will BUY them a copy of the item and give it to them, rather than risk my own copies.

They still don't get the hint. Grrr, NTs!


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kraftiekortie
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30 Oct 2014, 5:02 pm

NT's don't like their stuff touched, either. Some of them are quite compulsive about it.

I don't think this is an autism sort of thing.



glider18
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31 Oct 2014, 7:30 am

It bothers me when my things are messed with. I had a meltdown last year when a relative of my wife's needed something to do just after she retired from her career. This relative said she would like to clean our house for us (my wife, kids, and I). I came home from work and found approximately two dozen garbage bags sitting outside around my garbage cans. I am thinking, did she go through the basement and attic and outbuilding and??? Where did all that come from? I walked inside and found her holding one of my HO scale house models that I had bought from a master craftsman of models. I paid over a 100$ for it. And when I walked into the family room she said, "What do you want me to do with this?" And she was holding it over a trash bag ready to drop it in. AGHHH!! ! Then she said all the trash was just out of our family room. WHAT!! !??? I looked in a garbage bag and found my sons' perfectly good baseball hats. I found items that were thrown away that clearly were not garbage. I even found our sons' school portraits thrown away. WHAT!! !??? Then I saw glass on the floor, and she said she had broken a snow globe that had been sitting safely in a display case. She broke it? That was an expensive treasured snow globe my mother had bought me years ago. It had wolf figures set atop a beautiful rocky mountain within the large snow globe. I couldn't let the ruined gift go, so I went to get it out of the garbage (amid having a meltdown). And I cut my hand and was unable to fill a dulcimer engagement I had booked. After she left, I brought the garbage bags inside and found such items as our watches, jewelry, and crafts our sons had made. I told my wife I never wanted her in the house again. My wife said she was planning on coming back the following week. I said, "No, she will not be back in this house to clean ever again." And she never has.

I am a private person. I don't want my things moved from where I put them. When they are moved, I get a lot of anxiety. I can become panicked from trying to relocate my things. I have a checklist of things I look for whenever I leave the house to assure myself that they are where I left them, and that they haven't become lost. I believe that a person's things are very personal matters that shouldn't be messed with by others. I feel strongly about this.


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kraftiekortie
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31 Oct 2014, 4:59 pm

This person has little respect for others' property. She seems like a control freak to me.