High functioning autism with a girlfriend

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Hi everyone, this is my first post on here. I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in the fall and have girlfriend who i have yet to tell about my diagnosis. I would like to know if you guys think i should tell her I have autism or if that would cause her to view me differently and ultimately be detrimental to our relationship. Thanks in advance.

acceptance on her end will be up to her. does that work?


1. how did you meet her anyway?

2. will it matter what she will think of you as? that is the only thing that will be in this current outcome.

welcome to this site. hope your stay is worth your while. warning! there has been breaches in forums of

arguments in some forums. just to be on the alert.

How long have you been going out?
It's hard to predict her response without knowing anything about her. It could go either way..and if it goes south..then she's not the one blah blah.

You could start with just the need to knows. E.g. if you don't always respond lovey, make sure she knows that you do care about her, you just aren't as skilled as others at showing it; or something like that.

After a while though, depending on what functionalities you struggle with, it may be good to tell her so she can hopefully understand. Otherwise, she may end up taking offense to things or feel you too distant (and read incorrectly into that) as she doesn't know.

The diagnosis though might explain some things, but it doesn't change who you were when you met, nor the guy she likes.

Good luck!

If you've been dating for a while and she's already gotten to know you, you should probably tell her. Maybe I'm a bit callous, but if she thinks of you differently for having a diagnosis when she has already gotten to know you, she's not worth your time.

Keeping something a secret long-term is usually not a good idea.

When you tell girls they get kinda embarrassed or judgmental cause they dont know what autism is. If they realize its not mentally challenged and just tell her it means you are a genius and have to trade in the normal card for it. They go 'oh yea i heard of that' or something and then its cool. Just tell her alone and when everythings calm so she listens. If she does not listen she is no good anyway. Tell her its like a secret society with its own culture and you dont like people talking about it or something in a way she can understand. Really though if she doesnt understand get a better girl. And you have to tell her cause without truth there is no love. Like they say "The key to a good relationship is honestly". Cause the love gets tested too much by miscommunication or lack of. Plus you never want your girl to find out your secrets on her own.

She is an individual, and none of us know her. How could we possibly judge whether she'll react well or not?

Have you been honest about your traits, or have you been trying to act NT around her? If you haven't been making an effort to fake NT, she'll have already figured out that you're different from most people. If she knows what you're really like and she loves you for that, I doubt adding a label to it will change anything.

But if you've been putting on an act, then your relationship is probably doomed already. People who put on an act to get into a relationship tend to have the relationship fall apart as soon as the mask starts to slip - and it will slip eventually.