Change your personality?

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Has anyone here been able to change their personality - like get rid of the unpleasant parts and become a pleasant, constant smiling person? Like if someone says you're difficult to get along with, or difficult to work with, how to get rid of that part of the personality? What works, what doesn't?

Well I feel like I have improved in some areas...but I am certainly not some constantly smiling person and do not think I'd want to be as that is not really how I am, I feel like without my mental issues my default state is more just kinda mellow, not super happy or bubbly. But I have anxiety disorders so I end up feeling anxioius/nervous/on edge a lot and also depression so that interferes with my mood.

I used have a lot more difficulties getting along with people particularly in work situations. I used to have a lot more problems dealing with management. I can't say for sure why I have a lot less now. I think I probably learned to be more sensitive about what may offend or annoy people. I can say I was in my late 20's before I started to make regular eye contact and in my mid 30's before I got it down pat. I think that helped a lot in my dealings with others. I used to approach work from the angle that I would be sure to do my share and slightly more. I then realized that if want to be considered valuable and indispensable I need to do so much work and need to do it so consistently well that losing me would be painful for any employer. I also learned to have a bit of a self-deprecating sense of humor - and joke about my oddness and social awkwardness so people would understand that I knew I was different but I was comfortable with knowing others thought that of me.

I will never be the bubbly, happy, all smiles and life of the party type. I admire those who are. But I know that it is not for me.

Last edited by r2d2 on 08 Nov 2014, 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

I used to be violent, agressive and arrogant. Right now I don't have anger issues and people consider me humble. At least in real life, not so much on the internet.

it's encoded in my genes, and restraining them is akin to restraining a wild horse, it takes brute force to do so. "I yam what I yam."

I'm not sure anyone's personality ever stops changing...

evolve, maybe, but the basics of my personality were set before I was born, and continue to influence me 'til I push up the daisies.

If you can figure out how to do that please tell me. As I see it I'm a non-psychotic person who idealizes the solipsistic attitude. It's a concept I have just learned about that doesn't apply to me. I guess I romanticise mental illness which makes me a monster? I wouldn't have tried to kill myself for the same reason if I was delusional and believed I was seeing spirits or talking with demons. The irony is that I attempted suicide specifically because I wasn't seeing spirits or talking with demons. Ha ha ha.

I'm so obsessed with the surreal that the mundane is disappointing but it's all I have and may be all I'll ever have. If it's all I ever have life isn't worth living.

Personality change is something I've been investigating because I refuse to believe that DNA equals destiny. There must be other factors. I heard that Psilocybin can cause long-term personality changes.

Excuse the web addresses because paste isn't working with the link tool. These are some websites suggesting that psilocybin can increase openness in a supervised environment. Copy and paste them into your browser because I can't copy and paste them into the link tool right now and I forget the code for adding links.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-09-2 ... -says.html

http://www.livescience.com/16287-mushro ... -term.html

I can't wait until my landlord has hir one shrooms trip per year because zhe says zhe is only willing to sell me shrooms when zhe buys it for that day. I want it so badly even if it might not cause the personality changes I hope for. I want the temporary experiences and I deeply hope that there will be long term benefits increasing my appreciation for art and my openness in general. If I can change my personality I am one step closer.

Under a friend's advice I'm investigating mystical practices and I've several joined meet-up groups focused on these subjects. There's also a free meditation class in Toronto that I plan on attending. I hope to cause neurological changes and personality changes by practicing regular meditation.


Other than that I have no idea. I need to find out. My life depends on it. I've been biologically programmed for a lifetime of frustration. My only out is personality intervention.

The subject of this thread, unfounded hope, and a dash of primal fear are the only reasons I live. I choose to hold onto hope because I am extremely strong and weak (my ego is way stronger).

P.S. Count the number of times "I" appears in my post. I count 41 before the P.S. because I'm counting "I'm", "I've", "my" "myself", and any other times I refer to myself. It shows how self-absorbed I am and how hopeless things are.

P.P.S. It's now 53.

P.P.P.S. It turns out the links work.

Idk, I've known some people who have got 'religion' and their personalities appeared to change overnight - not always for the better.

could be because they became the ultimate "agents of authority" or the ultimate authority, per milgram et al.

Yes. That. And anyone who didn't join them was going to hell.

won't they all be surprised one day.

I've heard of the type too. One of my coworkers told me of a friend that "found religion" and flat-out told her "I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I won't see you in heaven". We had a good laugh about that, but I couldn't help but think "what a jerk to say that..." It's one thing to be religious (as I am), but letting it change who you are is just bad all over. Frankly I don't care for the type that get all "high and mighty" about religion. If you want to try and sway someone, fine, but don't be a condescending jerk about it. Never works. On the other hand, some others change for the better, and it does help them get over their problems. Me personally, I didn't let it change who I was. I am who I am and I'm not going to pretend to be someone else. (And FYI: I'm not directing this at you at all -- more at the individuals you speak of who I don't know about )

That all being said, this part here:
Sounds like anxiety to me. Keep in mind that anxiety does NOT necessarily mean you're nervous all the time. What you're describing sounds like me before I went on the Prozac. I wasn't terribly confident about my social skills at all, and dreaded conversations with people. Now I'm a whole different person, and am very open (almost too open to some ), and coworkers even used to ask me what happened to the quiet side of me. Frankly, Prozac has done wonders for me, and it ultimately gave me the confidence in myself to see what my now-fiancee (then-girlfriend) saw in me too and propose to her. Wouldn't change any of it for the world, so if I were you, I'd ask your doctor about what the signs of anxiety are and see if he can prescribe you something for it.

After a good 20 years of trying and somewhat succeeding in changing my personality, I now find myself returning back to where I started in the first place.

everything old is new again

I did some by getting over my depression & coming here to WP & learning about Aspergers & why I was the way I was & things I could do to help. Getting a girlfriend helped me too. I wanted to grew but I was trapped in a bad environment living with my parents & I needed to move out & have the rite motivation & support to make much needed changes & grow & mature. I'm alot happier & less negative nowadays. I think the members here who remember my older post can vouch for that.