olympiadis wrote:
Transyl wrote:
I was trying to tell my dad last night that I know much he cares me about me but somehow it came out wrong and instead I made him feel bad. He was emotional and talking about how just a little while ago I was telling him how it's like being me. I gave him an example of the majority of people being in a circle and I'm outside of it. People inside the circle always expect that if I care about them then somehow I'll get in but I can't. They think this means I'm uninterested or heartless. I told him that it's frustrating they won't try to meet me where I'm at. Although I know they are too used to the circle to actually consider leaving it for a second. This conversation happened after I had become extremely overwhelmed and pretty much shut down for an hour. I was overwhelmed because my great grandma passed away, the holidays are coming up and stress me out, and we were just around people a lot on a trip.
How do people on the spectrum handle relationships with their family? Do they try to help them understand what they're going through and why can't interact and connect more? Or will that just make them depressed and guilty?
I think you explained it very well.
I have made similar efforts to do so and at first I would think that my message got through, but then later it would become clear that I failed completely.
I don't think the result is a random thing, or has much to do with the communication being used.
I think it comes down to there being a much stronger force drawing them into their circle than anything else that would tempt them to step out of it for any amount of time.
A simple analogy might be them attempting to jump up and reach the moon. The gravity of the Earth is just too powerful, so they can only look from a distance. Of course the only way to actually reach the moon is to understand the Earth's gravity and find a way to defeat it. They aren't doing that. The Earth's gravity is what makes them feel good and safe and sane.
Space cadet and
lunatic reporting for duty!
I recall one time a while ago, before I learned that I may be on the spectrum, when I was at a party. There were some people I sort of knew, but by and large it was all strangers or somewhat superficial acquantainces. At one point a bunch of people were out on the deck, and several were sitting in a circle, talking and laughing and playing some sort of game. Meanwhile, I'm sitting right on the periphery of the circle, seeing and overhearing them but unable to join, and unsure whether I even want to. I remember thinking (and remarking) that the experience was like a metaphor for my life: being right on the edge of a circle of people playing some big game that they are all a part of, while I able to observe it to an extent, but unable to participate or even to really understand the rules.
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?The only thing I know is that I know nothing.? - Socrates
?Today you are You, that is truer than True. There is no one alive who is youer than You.? - Doctor Seuss
08 Nov 2014, 5:23 pm
