Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

devochka
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

13 Nov 2014, 10:52 am

I have an issue I can't find anywhere on the internet. My expectations of people and situations are typically the opposite of what really wounds up happening. I will give a couple of examples.

I am currently a part of a group of people that belongs to an "agency" that deals specifically with creating jobs for people with Aspergers. In the beginning, they made a bunch of promises, and I totally believed them. Six months later or so, these promises disappeared. I was told not to expect anything anymore, and I was angry because I felt that I had been duped and that people shouldn't promise something that they cannot carry out.

Here is another, more specific, situation. I was having lunch in a restaurant, at a job, with a bunch of people who were part of the above group that I just mentioned. We had someone who was "supervising" us. The restaurant wasn't as good as we expected, and two of us said that we were still hungry afterwards. For some reason, I assumed that we were going to stay and order desert to fill our stomachs. Nothing of the kind happened (it wasn't anyone's fault, but I still assumed that was the reasonable thing to do), and, I think, I was the only one thinking that way.

A third example: when I was being diagnosed, I thought I'd have a chance to ask a million questions and have them explained to me. I also thought the doctor would have information on groups to join for support and employment agencies to contact that would help me find a job, with my "disability." She didn't have any information. Zilch. I was quite surprised. I thought that would have been part of your job. I mean, one of the reasons for a diagnosis is to help you navigate the employment and the social world. When you go to see a psychiatrist, you typically get medications to help you. When you get diagnosed with Aspergers, there are no medications but there are resources available. My therapist told me that it may not have been part of the doctor's job to have that information and that I shouldn't have expected it. I still don't understand why.

This happens to me on a regular basis. Whenever I expect something, the opposite happens. Does anyone else have this issue and does this relate to Aspergers, or is it something totally different?



Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

13 Nov 2014, 11:36 am

We all have expectations. Life is easier if one can be flexible and adjust to what actually happens. Still working on that one, but by adjusting, I mean maybe like asking someone who should know something (but doesn't) where to ask questions next instead of staying stuck on that they should know or should do something.



Last edited by Waterfalls on 13 Nov 2014, 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

slenkar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,146
Location: here

13 Nov 2014, 12:07 pm

The first one was a reasonable assumption, they broke their promise.

The second one wasn't reasonable because dessert doesn't fill you up.

The third one was reasonable, Doctors seem to treat other conditions or refer people out after they diagnose something.



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

13 Nov 2014, 12:10 pm

Each person is thinking something different in their minds, so if you want others to meet certain eggspectations, then you should ask for those directly and keep asking for those.


_________________
Drain and plane and grain and blain your brain, and then again,
Propane and butane out of the gas main, your blain shall sustain!


downbutnotout
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 656
Location: MN, US

13 Nov 2014, 1:22 pm

One thing that's important to realize is that things like businesses depend on people believing that they both need what the business has and that the business can deliver. For organizations, they need to look like they have everything in order and can do a good job in order to get government or public support. It's important not to take it at face value, because they might stretch the truth or even make things up entirely in some cases if they think they can get away with it. Even Lucky Charms cereal promises that it's a nutritious part of a balanced breakfast. :wink: