Questions about going "nonverbal/mute".

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Sometimes when I'm really anxious and/or overwhelmed I stop speaking. Last time it happened was last week. I started a new course at university and apparently half of my class consisted of new students (students that will only partake in this course and then my class will go back to normal again), which freaked me out. I'm not good with meeting new people and my class was suddenly twice as big, the level of noise was markedly higher, people were moving around all around me, I was worried the new people were going to take "my spot" in the lecture hall since they don't know I always sit there, and I was also very unsure of all the instructions coming from the teacher. All of that resulted in the following "symptoms": I got super anxious, carried out more "compulsions" than usual (made sure things were symmetrical and wrote and re-wrote words over and over and over again when taking notes), couldn't take it when the people sitting next to me accidentally touched me, had a hard time sitting still (got very fidgety and I kept moving my feet a certain way), my pulse was high, I got withdrawn and I stopped speaking.

I barely spoke the whole day. I could, with some "mental difficulty", speak if someone asked me specific questions but that only happened a few times during the day. The rest of the time I was quiet and very withdrawn and it felt like I couldn't speak. Mentally that is. I knew that I could probably physically speak if I wanted to but it felt as if it would take a tremendous amount of energy to do so and in those situations it always feels like something is hindering me from speaking. Also, in that particular situation I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to be around people at all. Even in situations when I'm "mute" and I want to speak, it feels difficult to do so. It feels difficult to open my mouth and let my vocal cords produce sounds. In those situations I actually have to test myself and see if I can still produce sounds because I get unsure if it's possible. So I usually hum a bit just to make sure my ability to speak is still there.

Questions:

1. Am I going nonverbal (the kind of nonverbal associated with autism) in situations like that or is it something else?
2. Do you go "mute" in certain situation and if so, what's it like for you?

When I disconnect and go mute, I'm still listening to everything being said. Sometimes I'll feel like responding if somebody is speaking directly to me or trying to "pull me out of it", but most of the time I'm just listening and I rarely have the power to respond. Or sometimes I do eventually respond if I've recovered a bit, but it's usually me repeating something like "I want to leave" to everything being said.

In autism related conditions, the brain has neurological problems with processing different kinds of input and output. When we are under stress this puts additional demands on our brain's processing system, which causes additional problems, and more stress, which can lead to a cascade--or domino effect.

I am a non social, introverted hermit type person, who rarely talks to people. I do talk to occasionally, when I have to go out. Now that I live alone, and don't have to spend much time with people, I find it easier to talk to them on those occasions when I do have to go out, because I know that when I go home, I will be able to be alone, and not have to deal with anyone then.

Your verbal shut down during times of stress is your way of reducing stress, and reducing the demands on your brain's processing system.

My shut downs also extend to family phone calls and family emails. I respond to calls and emails when I feel up to it, not just anytime that they want contact. They do get annoyed by that, but that's the way I am.

Don't get upset by your verbal shut down. Just try to find ways to reduce the stress in your life.