Do you have a hard time with death?

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You see, one of my close friends passed away in his sleep yesterday. He had a lot of health issues, but it's still very shocking and sad for me though. The thing is, I've never been able to cry. I've always found it difficult. At one time, I remember my grandmother (my dad's mother) passing away, and I didn't cry one bit. I just couldn't do it, even when I saw everyone else crying. It's always been a huge problem for me. Like, I feel the pain of losing someone close to me, but I just can't seem to let that pain out.

Does anyone else find this hard as well? D:

Yes I find it really hard I just can't cry.

I had an uncle I was really close to die four years ago and it still really hurts.

I am sorry for what you are going through right now.

Intellectually speaking, death represents one of two things -- cessation or continuity.

I don't have any problem with either of those two concepts, but do have problems, letting go of stress.

Sometimes, it helps me to express myself, vicariously. Right, now, this form is doing my talking for me. But, I might be able express myself though a project -- like a tribute, for instance.

I know that feeling and yes its hard for me too
When I can't cry about this thing I push myself to at least get some tears inside my eyes but I can't express myself fully and cry as much as I want because I don't know how to, I feel like it's bottled up and that I need to cry it

I am so sorry to hear about your loved one Loki. I understand how you feel. Sometimes even when we are in the saddest moment of grief, for some reason the tears don't come. That has happened to me. I will sometimes cry much later after the fact. Don't worry about it though. If the tears are ready they will come but even if they don't it has no bearing on what you feel or how much you loved your friend.

Big hugs to you and your family.

Yeah sometimes the tears just won't come and it's hard hard especially when you're at a funeral

I'm sorry for your loss.

Regarding your question... I'm not really sure. My first experience with death was when my dog Kocco died. I was 8 years old. I cried for probably two hours straight when I found out. My next experience with death was when my great grandmother died. I was around 11 years of age. I wasn't sad at all. She was 93 though- not a sad death especially since it was natural. My next experience was when someone who went to church with me died in a plane crash. That one made me feel worst because he was in his mid thirties. He left behind a wife and three kids. Now that's a sad death. I didn't cry, but I understood that it wasn't an 'ok' death. When I was 16 my grandpa passed away from cancer. I was pretty glad when I heard the news. I like(d) him a lot and didn't want him suffering anymore. He was diagnosed around six months prior. Maybe four months later our dog Sable died. He was euthanized... he got sick and hadn't eaten in 5 days. He was 13 though. Not sad. See, I'm extremely content with death that makes sense to me. Especially when the dying person is old. If they die young, then I'm not as content. Either way, I think I take an especially logical approach to it.

Yes, hard.

When I think about people being gone it's surreal. Imagining that I'll never see my great grandma sitting in her chair again, never hear her ask how I'm liking Georgia or making sure I have something to eat or telling me I'm sweet and that she's going to keep me... that I'll never hold her hand again and know that I'm loved without her having to say it. It feels like I'm in a dream because how can she be gone? One day I'll wake up and she'll be there.

Update: His brother said that he died of a Malignant Tumor that spread to his lungs. D: Thing is, nobody knew but probably his family. It just hit you. One minute he was doing well and talking to his friends online... then he was gone the next. That's what made it so hard to cope with plus him being such a close friend to me. I couldn't write all day yesterday because I guess I took it pretty hard, despite not being able to cry. D:

Lack of crying is an issue for me, I attribute it to constantly suppressing myself to the point of it being automatic. so even when a situation arises such as the OP's where "letting go" is considered acceptable I can't turn off the automatic suppression response. While people crying describe as release it looks horrible, people gasping for breath, red painful eyes. I know this issue causes me problems. One issue I have identified is delayed reaction ie I am first getting upset about things when most others have had their release and are moving or have moved on. Thus I am told "get over it already" which adds to the suppression response. The diagnosis is responsible for me identifying this issue. While I have not completely broken down there have been a couple of posts where some tears has come out.

It's not being dead that worries me. It's the getting there!

I go all weird and quiet when someone dies. I get a sort of delayed reaction.

Well, I'd actually say I have an easy time dealing with it, but I don't cry often, either. I don't get overwhelmed by the feeling of people being gone or having passed away, but crying tends to sneak up on me at funerals. I started crying at my grandfather's funeral because my father was crying while speaking, and later my sister had to wheel around my grandmother in her wheelchair and she was crying. I'd never seen either of them like that before.

You'll probably let it out when you're ready, in a form that may or may not be crying. Not everyone deals with it in the same way.

I know that if someone close to me dies I'll feel sad, depressed and have a feeling of loss, but I doubt that I'll cry over it. I'm just too detached. That bothers me some, but I know it's not my fault.

I just posted something similar about a week ago when my aunt died. It's as if I can intellectualize death and understand how it is sad and upsetting for those closest to her. I myself can 'feel' sad for them, but I'm not moved emotionally to the point of tears. What bothered me most is that being in my uncle's house with virtually wall-to-wall people after the funeral left me closer to crying than my aunt's untimely death.