Zero birthday

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I'll be 20y in two weeks. I'm just scared, I don't feel like I'm 20, I'm shy and awkward as a kid, I actually don't feel "adult" at all. My aunts that I live together since kid, are trying to convince me to do a party, but I have zero friend to invite! And they know it! I know it's nothing serious, but I swear, I look for my birthday cake every year and think "suicide noooow!". It's too hard getting old with and never changing
"And I've never felt more alone It feels so scary, getting old"<Sorry if seems too dramatic but I'm really depressed about it...

I believe you will find your second wind soon. you have youth on your side, the winds of energy are at your back. you can do it!

The early 20's are hard... there is tremendous societal pressure to "do something!" "Be someone." Be easy on yourself. Happy Birthday!

Have a beer. Oh sorry, you can't do that yet! Lol.

Duplicate post.

I remember when my older sister moved out at seventeen. She was a high school drop-out with no references and nowhere to g, but she was determined not to go back home. She said our whole family dynamic was just unhealty and she wasn't the only person I'd heard say that. Still, she never felt like a real adult. She still doesn't. She says she still feels like a kid pretending to be an adult.

The fact of the matter is that I'd always seen her as grown up. For much of my life she was more of a mother to me than a sister. Our circumstances forced us both to grow up fast. When I was really little though, I still needed somebody to take care of me an she was the one that did it.

I've talked with other people about it since then and it seems to me like it's normal at this point in your life not to feel like a real adult.

Of course, I'm not an adult at all. Just a 17 year old kid who's done exceptionally well at a couple of "real" jobs, but mostly just takes "3-D" (Difficult, Dirty and Dangerous) odd jobs because criminal background checks are problematic for me and even if they weren't I absolutely hate paying taxes. I'm still the same weird little kid I was back on the farm, but most of the people who know me now didn't know me back then so (even though myself and my family still remember what I was like back then) most people see me as an adult because I look older than I am (especially since I decided to grow a goatee when I was working for a man named Mark a couple months ago), am articulate and really don't conduct myself like a typical teenager.

I don't typically think of myself as a kid or an adult though.Truth is, you are whoever you choose to be. I wish I knew how to be more re-assuring, but just know that what you're feeling is normal and should pass eventually.

I dreaded turning 20 too. (and 12 and 18, and 20 and 30). It sounded so old. I wasn't ready. I have since learned that chronological age doesn't change who I am or how I feel.
Still I dread the four oh coming up in a little more than two years....

Interestingly I heard an interview with an old woman, who claimed that you never stop feeling young on the inside, it's just your body that grows old. IDK how common that is though.

I can relate, I hate birthdays and I hate getting older. I'm 23 now and I as much of a child as I was when I was 13, I don't feel like I've progressed into this "adult" status that your seem to expected to be even tho I live on my "own". I hate the thought that in less than 7 years I'll be 30, I'm old enough know where I can quantify that time and it's not that long. Life is so short, I don't feel like I have accomplished anything and feel like I've missed out on so much. It's hard to imagine living life like everyone else, either way it seems like I'm screwed.

slave - yes my aunt is kind of too much protective and possessive, she thinks just because I'm aspie and need special treatment


I need to do something about this

I'm going crazy about being 20. I feel like I'm stuck on life

Lukecash12 - sorry, not enough answers last time...

PS: I hate special treatment. I'm asperger, not crazy or retarted....

Stay young. I'm 43, and don't see myself "growing up" any time soon. It is the time in your life when you need to work on being responsible, and independent. It doesn't happen overnight, and it takes work. It may suck. The alternative is staying the same, and changing nothing, while everything changes around you.

Ever seen the latest Spider man movie? No one ever remembered Electro's birthday.