Getting in trouble.

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Hi my name is Mike and I have Autism. The one thing I want to ask is do you guys get in trouble a lot with the people you live with or your job. I'm asking because I get in trouble with my mom all the time. But I think I know what gets me in trouble, most of the time. My mouth for one thing, I don't know when to stop talking about inappropriate things. And when I get in trouble I say things that get me more in trouble. I also forget to do my chores or things I told to do and that gets me in trouble. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I get in trouble with people including my mother because of my mouth like how you described and because I get angry so easily

Hi Mike, welcome to WP. I also get in trouble a lot. I had lots of problems when I worked especially and I have problems in my relationships now because I don't communicate well and people often get confused and misunderstand what I am trying to say. I misunderstand them sometimes too so that makes it worse, I know that that sort of thing happens to everyone, Aspies, Auties, and NTs but I think the rate at which it happens to me is more than most. It can be really hard sometimes. I forget to do chores too sometimes. Luckily I don't live with my parents anymore so my mom can't nag me about chores if I forget.

Hello and welcome to WP.
I also get into trouble very often, and usually it's the way I talk to people, like when I say simply hello it can sound like I don't care or like f-u. What I mean by that the intonation of the voice is very important and the way you say stuff can mean two or three different things. In my case everything is told with the same intonation. I once was kick out from a friend of a friend's house, because his GF just lost her mother, and the way I said "I'm sorry" might have sounded like "I don't give a s**t".

Yeah I have an unfiltered mouth too, I sometimes say whats on my mind without thinking twice of it. Here's one story that my mom stills reminds me about to this day, and that we still laugh about too. Back in fourth grade my mom went to a girl scout troop leader meeting, they played dirty santa and my mom won a candle. She tried using it but my dad didn't like the smell, so she rewrapped it and gave it to mm to give to my fourth grade teacher. When I gave it to her, I told her my mom won it in a dirty santa game yesterday but my dad didn't like the smell, she she decided to give it to you. I don't remember this part but my mom saids she confronted her in the car line, by telling her what I said. XD

I don't get into trouble. It follows me around. If it would stop following me, I would be o.k.

I gotten in trouble alot with my parents but that was because they didn't really understand my issues or accommodate them & we had lots of misunderstandings.

Thanks for telling me that you guys and gals also have the same problem as I do. It's nice to know I'm not the only one with this problem. And if only I can get a better handle on it so I'm not in trouble as much or at all!

I understand. I used to not know what to say and what not to say. But I have gotten better over the years. My strategy is to be extremely conservative. Think before you talk and, If there is any reasonable chance that what you say will be offensive (not including mere disagreement with ideas or opinions) to society, don't say it. In college and now law school I don't think I ever said one thing that was a major faux pas, at least not in front of anyone other than closest friends (and, even then, I'm careful). However I have seen people make major, embarrassing faux pas(es?) on multiple occasions. It is not extremely rare for an NT to make a major faux pas. I feel that I am more socially aware and competent (in some ways) than many NTs because, to get to where I am, I had to intensely study socialization and society like an academic subject. My advice: use your intellect to compensate for your lack of natural social skills. It works!

It's very common. I go to school with autistic kids and it happens all the time. I've gone off on my family plenty of times. And sometimes teachers too. I don't talk, so I make up for that with scathing texts. And I have to be constantly reminded to do stuff I forgot.

You live in a world where people believe everything needs to make sence. They have rules, and laws. Guidelines that tell them how things need to be. People believe they need to understand everything, or their whole world will fall apart.

That is the farthest from the truth. There are far too many things that cannot be understood, however people belive they do, or are able to figure it out.

Trouble follows.

For every problem that is solved, ten more occur.

Just be you, and do the best you can.

What is your school like? Could you describe it?

As for the OP: Yeah, I used to get into trouble all-the-time, TOO----for the same reason, NOT thinking, FIRST!! I have improved, but it's alot of work!!

Talking before thinking, and not understading how someone will feel about it used to get me in soo much trouble. It is that theory of mind thing I don't agree with I think. I cannot just say what I feel, or want without people getting all emotional, and believing I have no empathy, or feelings.

The double post deal.

Last edited by yournamehere on 18 Nov 2014, 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think it really boils down to the fact that we are not picking up on the social cues and therefore, we tend to not know when to stop talking and that's when we run into problems. It's not that we are being rude, disrespectful or selfish. It's that we simply can't regulate it. It's ether we talk too much or not at all.