i have such a hard time watching tv/movies/reading books...
mr_bigmouth_502
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Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
I sort of understand what you mean. Oftentimes I'll be watching a movie, and I'll get completely lost on who the characters are, what the storyline is, etc. Books can be somewhat confusing too, though at least there's the option to go at your own pace. I typically prefer to watch movies where it is firmly established who the characters are, and what the plot is about, so that I don't end up getting confused.
Anyway, have you considered video games as an alternative entertainment medium? A lot of games nowadays are quite plot-heavy, but there are still a good number where you can just focus on the game itself, like Tetris. I can play Tetris when I'm half-asleep, and still get decent scores.
Anyway, have you considered video games as an alternative entertainment medium? A lot of games nowadays are quite plot-heavy, but there are still a good number where you can just focus on the game itself, like Tetris. I can play Tetris when I'm half-asleep, and still get decent scores.
Basically ill be reading something and ill get fixated on one detail and obsess over it, and blur out the rest of the meaning or one detail will trigger my hypergraphia and make me write something down. Therefore I don't watch movies or tv or read books yet I wrote one. I also feel like I'm in my own world, literally - just here like ariel in the little mermaid wanting to be on land with people.
The reason I am suicidal is because stimuli is EVERYWHERE, so I get triggered all the time. Do you think I should just accept I am different and enjoy writing down little details? It's also so frustrating how my book is characters that are versions of me, and I feel like everyday my brain (not me) is trying to fertilize the book by taking all these notes, I get a flame in my belly like I feel hot and fire from writing down these things. It's so odd.
If I'm watching something I'll obsess on that one detail and it will be hard for me to watch the entire thing cause I'm thinking of that Especially listening to music certain phrases just can be broken down and I can feel like I'm having an out of body experience like I can pass out with them cause it feels so beautiful like little things like orange peels left in the sink or the banister, like I dissociate - I just wanna kiss them. I also think in images.
I have experienced this all throughout my life to a lesser degree.
If what you say is true, it is very likely that you have OCD. I get stuck on details and have to constantly reload tabs that I close on the internet all the time, and it's incredibly irritating. I waste so much time re-looking at text or images for particular things. Apply this to all branches of life.
I wouldn't qualify for a clinical case of hypergraphia, but when I was younger I had urges to make notes of very pointless things, and I only recently related that to my need for memory hoarding. I still do record useless information but I type rather than write.
Some may view what you type and consider it to be a joke. It is not. It's incredibly distressing.
It's ironic that those with OCD are seen to be all controlling, when really, they are the ones who are being controlled (by the disorder).
_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
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-chronically drunk
If what you say is true, it is very likely that you have OCD. I get stuck on details and have to constantly reload tabs that I close on the internet all the time, and it's incredibly irritating. I waste so much time re-looking at text or images for particular things. Apply this to all branches of life.
I wouldn't qualify for a clinical case of hypergraphia, but when I was younger I had urges to make notes of very pointless things, and I only recently related that to my need for memory hoarding. I still do record useless information but I type rather than write.
Some may view what you type and consider it to be a joke. It is not. It's incredibly distressing.
It's ironic that those with OCD are seen to be all controlling, when really, they are the ones who are being controlled (by the disorder).
I do have OCD, and i refuse to take meds - my hypergraphia is the reason I wrote a book. I don't like to call what I have memory hoarding cause it's not, I am being creative without a choice or an option to - it's exhausting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/c ... handle_my/
". My problem is when I read some thing, unless I wrote it - and half the time when I did write it I can?t process it. I don?t know if I have the attention span to sit and read a sentence. As I get into that sentence, that might trigger a thought, and I go off and start thinking about something else and then I?ll read the next sentence, and then I have to go back because, wait, what did I just read? And then I have to read one paragraph 10 f*****g times. So I don?t read." - eminem
Hm, I think I get the same thing with films, but not books. I wonder why.
Does it make any difference to you (or any other posters) whether the film/book is long, has subtitles if it's a film, if you watch the film in a cinema or at home, with people or alone, or the environment you read in?
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Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly...
Does it make any difference to you (or any other posters) whether the film/book is long, has subtitles if it's a film, if you watch the film in a cinema or at home, with people or alone, or the environment you read in?
The looping is unavoidable.
mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
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Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
If what you say is true, it is very likely that you have OCD. I get stuck on details and have to constantly reload tabs that I close on the internet all the time, and it's incredibly irritating. I waste so much time re-looking at text or images for particular things. Apply this to all branches of life.
I wouldn't qualify for a clinical case of hypergraphia, but when I was younger I had urges to make notes of very pointless things, and I only recently related that to my need for memory hoarding. I still do record useless information but I type rather than write.
Some may view what you type and consider it to be a joke. It is not. It's incredibly distressing.
It's ironic that those with OCD are seen to be all controlling, when really, they are the ones who are being controlled (by the disorder).
I do have OCD, and i refuse to take meds - my hypergraphia is the reason I wrote a book. I don't like to call what I have memory hoarding cause it's not, I am being creative without a choice or an option to - it's exhausting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/c ... handle_my/
". My problem is when I read some thing, unless I wrote it - and half the time when I did write it I can?t process it. I don?t know if I have the attention span to sit and read a sentence. As I get into that sentence, that might trigger a thought, and I go off and start thinking about something else and then I?ll read the next sentence, and then I have to go back because, wait, what did I just read? And then I have to read one paragraph 10 f*****g times. So I don?t read." - eminem
Why do you refuse to take meds?
If what you say is true, it is very likely that you have OCD. I get stuck on details and have to constantly reload tabs that I close on the internet all the time, and it's incredibly irritating. I waste so much time re-looking at text or images for particular things. Apply this to all branches of life.
I wouldn't qualify for a clinical case of hypergraphia, but when I was younger I had urges to make notes of very pointless things, and I only recently related that to my need for memory hoarding. I still do record useless information but I type rather than write.
Some may view what you type and consider it to be a joke. It is not. It's incredibly distressing.
It's ironic that those with OCD are seen to be all controlling, when really, they are the ones who are being controlled (by the disorder).
I do have OCD, and i refuse to take meds - my hypergraphia is the reason I wrote a book. I don't like to call what I have memory hoarding cause it's not, I am being creative without a choice or an option to - it's exhausting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/c ... handle_my/
". My problem is when I read some thing, unless I wrote it - and half the time when I did write it I can?t process it. I don?t know if I have the attention span to sit and read a sentence. As I get into that sentence, that might trigger a thought, and I go off and start thinking about something else and then I?ll read the next sentence, and then I have to go back because, wait, what did I just read? And then I have to read one paragraph 10 f*****g times. So I don?t read." - eminem
Why do you refuse to take meds?
I need to stay pure.
I understand not wanting to take meds. I don't take any kind of pharmaceutical drugs unless I absolutely have to, not even over the counter stuff.
I don't get the looping thing with movies or books, but I have that with real life conversations. Like if someone says something I don't totally understand it may keep repeating in my mind over and over. Or sometimes I will obsess for days over one little thing someone said that annoyed me. I also will obsess over forum discussions and have the comments I've read endlessly repeating in my mind while I'm away from the computer doing other things.
I used to love to read, and I enjoyed literary analysis. Now I like to analyze movies and usually after I watch one I will google it so I can read lots of different opinions and reviews and interpretations of it. The only problem with that is I can't watch a movie all the way through anymore without feeling a strong urge to research it. If I watch a movie on my computer I may pause it every few minutes so I can go read something about it on IMDB. I get the urge to do that while I'm sitting in a theater too, but I can't.
I like to analyze things and I really enjoy it to a certain extent, so long as it's not distracting me from doing other things. What's bad is when I can't keep my mind on where I am and what I'm doing because I keep thinking about something else. Sometimes the only thing that helps is to tell myself, I will think about that later.
mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
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Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 31
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
If what you say is true, it is very likely that you have OCD. I get stuck on details and have to constantly reload tabs that I close on the internet all the time, and it's incredibly irritating. I waste so much time re-looking at text or images for particular things. Apply this to all branches of life.
I wouldn't qualify for a clinical case of hypergraphia, but when I was younger I had urges to make notes of very pointless things, and I only recently related that to my need for memory hoarding. I still do record useless information but I type rather than write.
Some may view what you type and consider it to be a joke. It is not. It's incredibly distressing.
It's ironic that those with OCD are seen to be all controlling, when really, they are the ones who are being controlled (by the disorder).
I do have OCD, and i refuse to take meds - my hypergraphia is the reason I wrote a book. I don't like to call what I have memory hoarding cause it's not, I am being creative without a choice or an option to - it's exhausting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/c ... handle_my/
". My problem is when I read some thing, unless I wrote it - and half the time when I did write it I can?t process it. I don?t know if I have the attention span to sit and read a sentence. As I get into that sentence, that might trigger a thought, and I go off and start thinking about something else and then I?ll read the next sentence, and then I have to go back because, wait, what did I just read? And then I have to read one paragraph 10 f*****g times. So I don?t read." - eminem
Why do you refuse to take meds?
I need to stay pure.
There was a time where I refused to take meds as well, but then I recognized that they can actually help. Albeit, no one has come up with a "perfect" pill, but I know that the SSRIs I'm on have helped reduce some of my obsessive tendencies. I know you want to stay "pure", but you have symptoms that interfere with your day to day life that you seemingly would prefer not to deal with... Meds could help with that, and there's nothing wrong with taking them. The choice is yours, but if I were in your position, I'd be looking into meds in a heartbeat.
I don't get the looping thing with movies or books, but I have that with real life conversations. Like if someone says something I don't totally understand it may keep repeating in my mind over and over. Or sometimes I will obsess for days over one little thing someone said that annoyed me. I also will obsess over forum discussions and have the comments I've read endlessly repeating in my mind while I'm away from the computer doing other things.
I used to love to read, and I enjoyed literary analysis. Now I like to analyze movies and usually after I watch one I will google it so I can read lots of different opinions and reviews and interpretations of it. The only problem with that is I can't watch a movie all the way through anymore without feeling a strong urge to research it. If I watch a movie on my computer I may pause it every few minutes so I can go read something about it on IMDB. I get the urge to do that while I'm sitting in a theater too, but I can't.
I like to analyze things and I really enjoy it to a certain extent, so long as it's not distracting me from doing other things. What's bad is when I can't keep my mind on where I am and what I'm doing because I keep thinking about something else. Sometimes the only thing that helps is to tell myself, I will think about that later.
Thanks for being so understanding. This place is so shame free, it's SO safe. I know what you mean about the real life.
OCD is ego-dystonic, you really, really don't want to have the thoughts, but you do, and you've had them for a long time.
When somebody says they have OCD because they have to see a TV show at the exact time it starts or that they have to brush their teeth before showering, it really bothers me. It's like saying 'I am sometimes socially inept, therefore I am autistic' or 'I must have ADHD because I can't concentrate on my school work'.
_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
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-chronically drunk
When somebody says they have OCD because they have to see a TV show at the exact time it starts or that they have to brush their teeth before showering, it really bothers me. It's like saying 'I am sometimes socially inept, therefore I am autistic' or 'I must have ADHD because I can't concentrate on my school work'.
Yes
Anyway, have you considered video games as an alternative entertainment medium? A lot of games nowadays are quite plot-heavy, but there are still a good number where you can just focus on the game itself, like Tetris. I can play Tetris when I'm half-asleep, and still get decent scores.
oh man I love Tetris! In fact thanks for the suggestion, I may just play now.
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