Anyone else bored around people?

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When I was at school I didn't enjoy people all that much but when I was at uni between 19-21, everything was new and exciting. Drinking played a large part as did having friends that were accommodating of my social limitations. At the time I kind of lived in my own little world, 'blinkered' a friend of mine once put it, although I can't remember what context it was in.

I began to read into everything more realistically. Mostly because the illusion fell apart and because I lost my network of friends who helped carry me through university.

Ever since then I've found it much harder to make friends or enjoy human company as I read too much into things and go into sensory overload. This didn't stop me from trying. When I went back to university at 24 I would go drinking by myself and try to make friends like before, talking to random people, but it was never the same.

I don't go drinking by myself now because I don't enjoy it at all. I think I've gotten bored of people because I'm only every able to interact with them on a superficial level, and it's become overly familiar to me. It doesn't make any difference who it's with or where I am. Socialising has lost its sheen for me and any expectation I had of climbing the social ladder (girlfriend, friends, work colleagues) along with it.

It is the curse of being heavily introverted that you really dislike small talk and other superficial things. Thus, we think very rationally and we want to obtain intellectual bonds rather then the skin deep emotional bonds. However, this cause us a problem since most people desire emotional bond first before the intellectual bond; therefore, we tend to be more isolated since we can't stand dealing with the pettiness of the superficial world.

I went back to uni last year, I basically viewed it as a 12-month experiment on whether or not I could be normal.

I was bored most of the time but kept trying, kept trying again and again going to social events, signing up to groups, etc.

I considered the experiment virtually a failure by the end, but then this aspie girl turned up at my writers' group at month 11. I have never connected with anyone like I do with her.

I now consider the experiment a success. I do think it can turn out worthwhile, I won't tell you "don't give up" though because that sounds both annoyingly optimistic and highly convenient, based as it is on my own experiences.

Yep, me too, I have the desire, but nobody can fulfill it, .
This life's just too mundane, I need to go live in the woods miles from anyone, then when you meet a fellow survivor, it will be something quite special and interesting.

Maybe I should move to a new town and get wasted there. It might be more fun than what I'm doing now. At least I could smoke weed if I had my own place.

I used to fantasize that I could live and work in a research centre in Antarctica. I don't know why. I bet its bollocks.

Unfortunately, the answer is a resounding "yes".

I say unfortunately, because I don't want to be this way and it's not like I think I'm so deeply interesting myself. But I cannot help being bored out of my mind with most people's conversations. If I can drink, then alcohol makes it bearable and even enjoyable if I'm lucky. But I can't overdo the alcohol, because then I become sick as a dog. Otherwise, after a while I have to do something else - go for a walk, go on somebody's iPad etc. Luckily my family are used to me, so they don't care if I sit there stuck in a screen while they're all talking.

I do actually have a longing for a connection with somebody, especially an intimate/romantic one. Just don't have the first clue how to fufil it. Occasionally I meet somebody in a professional capacity who I do feel a connection with; I then get depressed afterwards when I realise that they're just doing their job and we would never, ever have reason to talk to each other otherwise =/

I can't drink alcohol any more either. Maybe I should try ether? No, don't actually it can kill you.

Got an appointment next week with ADHD team to get a diagnosis. I'm hoping maybe I can be a bit more sociable if they put me on stimulants. Maybe the reason I get so bored with conversing with people is I can't focus on any subject for very long. I'm looking forward to trying them if that's what they decide

I can drink some alcohol, but I have to be careful not to go past the point of no return. I have a pretty good sixth sense compared to when I was a teenager, and very very rarely get ill from it any more. My family, annoyingly enough, can knock back bottles of wine like there's no tomorrow, but I just can't drink that much.

Good luck with the ADHD diagnosis. I have the same issue with lack of focus; if somebody starts telling a lengthy anecdote, I zone out. I just get bored. Are you in the UK? I don't really want to add another diagnosis to my long list of diagnoses, but I might ask my GP if he can prescribe ritalin.... :-/

I feel this way sometimes

Last edited by gaz34 on 20 Nov 2014, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah... :-/

Sometimes I've felt suicidal because I so badly wanted the connection to be real, but knew deep down it wasn't. To them, it's just their job or their personality, or whatever. And chances are very high they've already got a partner anyway. I had a small victory the other day when I managed to not be totally distraught after a chat with somebody I liked, so maybe I'm learning to cope better...

I try not to take it too personally. It sucks when you fancy someone and they don't fancy you back. It's worse when you fancy someone and they treat you like s**t. This has happened to me a lot in the past.

It's probably not wise having a relationship with a work partner. Imagine having to bump into them everyday if you split up and it ended badly. It would be like ten times worse than how you feel when you talk to them now.

I find that I have very little interest in most people and this is simply because they bore me s**tless.

I'm the type of person who needs quite a lot of stimulation otherwise I get into trouble.

There are very few people who I've ever came into contact with who have offered me such stimulation so, I have had to learn how to be bored and stay out of trouble.

Not an easy task I may add.

Interesting, have you always felt this way or did it start at a certain age?

I've probably always been like this but I notice it more as an adult.

I'm not actually in work. I'm talking about doctors, nurses, mental health professionals... Pretty much the only people I ever see outside of my family :-/

Logically, I know I shouldn't take it personally. I don't act on my feelings; I don't think anyone dealing with me would know about them if I had feelings for them. I just hate my desperate reaction afterwards, when I'm alone. That's why I'm so glad I didn't fall to pieces after the last chat. (Don't want to say who it was with, even though the chances of them seeing this post, recognising me and recognising themselves is probably zero.) It was a pleasant surprise to be left with mostly positive memories afterwards rather than crying over the fact I won't see them again, or only 1 or 2 more times if I do.