Help! I don't want to become a miserable, bitter old man

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Throughout my life I'e always wanted to be liked so I've been friendly to a fault. In the last few years though I've realised that I've lost the desire to be friendly. I've stopped speaking to people and I've become much more withdrawn.

I probably come across as rather sullen and unlikeable. I don't want this to happen. I don't want to be a horrible person. I've lost the drive to be "nice" though.

The situation is at it's worst at work. I don't speak or contribute anything unless spoken to. I don't even say "Good Morning" unless someone says it to me. I didn't used to be like this. I would talk and make jokes and, yes, try to get people to like me. The thing is now that I feel that if I offer anything, if I take a chance and say "Good Morning" to someone, I have given them the opportunity to ignore me, to put me in my place. It feels like I am grovelling for approval. It feels like there is a lot of social climbing going on and I'm one of the untouchables at the bottom.

This sounds like a description of a Secondary School environment but I'm 47 and the age range of the people I'm talking about are mostly aged 30-60 so they're not teenagers.

I hope that this is "wrong thinking" on my part. I've tried using CBT techniques to think of other explanations for why the other people in the office behave the way they do but somehow these don't ring true.

I've worked in offices before and it's never been like this. I've never been "Mr Popular" but I've made friends and had good conversations. That's all I want. It has been literally YEARS since I've had a conversation at work about something that I'm interested in.

So, am I stuck with a group of people that I'm incompatible with, or have I just grown old and lost all hope?

I've got to admit that it's hard maintaining an optimistic view of how other people will treat me when I get situations like I had today on the train- I was checking my 'phone and then reading my Kindle when I heard giggling. I looked up and a group of teenage girls were laughing at me and taking pictures of me on their mobile phones as if I was the f**king Elephant Man...

it sucks working around incompatible NT people.

Have you tried joining a local aspergers group and using that as a social outlet?

What would you say is your primary special interest? I think if you converse about it with like-minded people, you'll feel more satisfied.

Are you in NYC? You seem like you come from a large urban area. If you're single, count yourself fortunate. I feel stymied by my married situation. You have the freedom to pursue an interest with like-minded people. Much is out there.

Why were they laughing and taking pics of you? Are you sure it wasn't something behind you?

I sometimes take pics of people out in the world just because I think they are interesting (but I try to do it innocuously).

That sounds like me... maybe I am a miserable, bitter old man at the age of 20...

I wouldn't worry about a group of teenage girls doing stupid things on the train, but your work situation is different.
The first thing to do is recognizing that your behaviour hasn't been doing yourself justice to your co-workers and maybe bosses as well. You admit you were better when you were younger.
We live long lives and it's never too late to change. Charles Dicken's story "A Christmas Carol" is an example of that.
The key is to be true to yourself and not to try to behave as others expect you to behave, because that takes away part of your personality. Show curiosity to others and be respectful to your co-workers at all times and I think your co-workers will start to show more respect to you.

...I guess I'm pretty there already:-(...