I find myself lying about a lot of stupid things. The reason being that in the past, my honest answers to certain topics led to ridicule or abuse. I found as a child that if I said something opposite to what I really thought / felt, people might still make fun of what I said, but it fails to hurt or confuse me because they are responding to something that isn't really me anyway.
If that makes sense. So basically, lies are a self-defense mechanism.
The problem is, it doesn't build my self-esteem, because I am uncomfortable with lying and am really self-critical when I resort to it. Also, I do have a crappy short-term memory and can't recall what I said, so other people usually figure out that I have been untruthful. Working in therapy on alternative solutions, but just the other day found myself lying to a sweet elderly Mennonite woman at the farmer's market simply because I did not want to buy eggs that day. I could say, "I do not need any eggs, today" but when I make such a brief definitive statement, it often sounds abrupt and even angry to other people, so I adopted "storyteller mode" and said that I still had some eggs from the organic garden at the college. Seriously, who needs to lie about eggs??? But because people have criticized me so much for my tone of voice when making short statements, I feel like I need to draw things out a little, add some description, make myself think before I speak. But she probably knew I was lying anyway, because in addition to my voice getting softer I also stutter because I get nervous.
The other problem is, if someone presses me when I tell a lie, I get really angry, because it is so hard for me to lie and the overwhelming feeling I have when I am moved to lie in the first place is, "leave me ALONE."
Bottom line is, I have learned to lie because the truth, and how I relay the truth, has so often been deemed "unacceptable" by others. I often don't know what response they are seeking, but I can usually be assurred that it isn't the one I would honestly give.
I wrote an essay on this topic, "Confessions of a Lying Aspie," for my therapist. If I can find it on my computer drive next week I will post it.