Diagnosis- another perspective

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Neither am I self-diagnosed or pleased to be diagnosed with autism. I went from being a Gifted but messed up NT to being a broken mutant whose giftedness does not matter. Is there anyone else here who reacted with horror rather than relief to an Aspergers/ASD diagnosis?

I honestly don't see the difference between being gifted and NT, and gifted and Aspie. You're still gifted. Asperger's Syndrome is just a neurological difference, really.

If someone came up with the ultimate cure for cancer, would it make a difference whether the person is NT or autistic? I sure wouldn't care about the person's neurological status!

With kraftie on this one: if you were gifted before the diagnosis, you're still gifted afterwards.

My first reaction was relief, but the initial relief I felt wore off quite quickly. I didn't feel horrified, but I did feel despondent and sad that at the realisation that I would never be "normal". There didn't seem any point in even trying any longer: I wasn't going to change, so what was the point? My strongly negative thoughts about my "failed" life didn't get any better either; I felt just as bad about my life before the diagnosis as I did afterwards.

You may be messed up, topic creator, but you're certainly not a "mutant". Try not to think of the diagnosis as having fundamentally changed you; it hasn't changed you at all, it's just a confirmation of what you have always had - a neurological disorder.

Truly, the question "What is normal?" is most applicable. I've known many "normal" people whose personal life is a holy mess.

I just meant "normal" as in being able to have a conversation with people :-/

But yeah, I take your point. Not all NTs are sterling successes, that's for sure.

Factually speaking, nothing changed except your/my perspective. There were many feelings which I had about this change of self-perspective, and they were different feelings at different stages of processing the change of perspective. The change of perspective was permanent, an addition to my self-perception. The feelings were transient experiences, which reoccur sometimes depending on what is going on or not.

http://www.aspennj.org/pdf/information/ ... ith-as.pdf

Here is a moving letter, beautifully written, from a man who realised that he was on the spectrum after his son was diagnosed. It may resonate with some of the older members here who had the same experience of self-recognition when younger members of the family were diagnosed.

I doubt it; you haven't alienated me, FUA - I understood you to be describing your own experience, not projecting it on to others.

As an obsessed fan of the X-Men, I take the term "mutant" to be a compliment; it refers to individuals who have gifts and talents far beyond those of boring, average "homo sapiens". Being a mutant can be a curse as much as a gift sometimes, as Rogue demonstrated through her inability to touch other people due to her mutant power; the ability to absorb life out of things. However, there were times when Rogue's power was used to benefit others as well, such as the time she was able to drain Magneto just enough to render him unable to complete his nefarious plot involving Manhattan Island, a gigantic magnet, and a huge panel of state senators.

Anyway, the convoluted and highly geeky point I'm trying to make is that being different is neither good or bad, it's what you do with it that determines your success or failure. Yes, we have challenges that NTs don't have to face, but we also have gifts that far surpass their abilities, and you, as a gifted person, exceed NT abilities all the more for your second mutant power. You're like Jean Grey, who had the ability to move objects via telekinesis, and also to read peoples' minds the way Professor Xavier did. Not many mutants are lucky enough to have two super powers at once

It's not an experience I went through, but being upset like that isn't an unusual one. For some, its at diagnosis, for some, its not (because they were diagnosed young), but occurs as they age. Usually, people end up finding ways of self-acceptance.

You are yourself. Nothing more or less. You're not special because you're autistic. You're not broken because you're autistic. You have oddities that you've known about but now have a label for. You have things you struggle with more than the average person. You have things you are great at, and things you are poor at. You have things you love and things you hate. All of those are things people have. You just also have these sets of traits that are classed as autistic.

How people find self-acceptance varies. Some make themselves as just more people because there we are just more people. Some go into disability rights. Some go through a phase of "I'm better because of autism" and then settle into trying to make others understand that we aren't worse because of autism. Some just don't have it matter.

Can you be upset and frustrated? Absolutely. Can you hate that now you feel like you're broken and the giftedness doesn't matter? Absolutely.

Those parts do matter though. You haven't lost them either. You are still the same person. You just have another descriptor that can help you out if you need it to.

That doesn't mean you can't rage about the fact that people might overlook everything else for it now, that you can't rage about the fact that you feel like you've lost things by now being labeled with diagnoses, and you can't need to re-evaluate who you are.

In the end though - try to remember that you are the same person you were before the diagnosis. You just have more information about yourself now.