Is my friend autistic?

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I have this friend he has several character traits that scream autism:

He says he has trouble with facial expressions (however he's not said whether he doesn't recognize them or whether he just has trouble with intensity, feeling anything when he sees them. I will need to ask to clarify this to assess if its autism related).

He says he struggles with social situations and is always reading books or websites to assess what the best way to behave is.

He says people think he is impolite and he doesn't realize what he is doing is impolite.

However there are other things that make me wonder. I suppose its possible that he is a combination of autistic and something else. Or maybe I am being too stereotypical and expecting him to fit the mold. Here are some traits that I would say made me question the autistic assumption:

He can be manipulative, for example he'll argue something from his point of view one week but if he decides he wants things a different way he'll sometimes completely switch the point of view to get what he wants. I know a few autistic people and this isn't really a trait I've noticed but maybe he was bought up differently/had bad experiences that have made him behave in a certain way.

He states that he is nice to people at work just so his team does well. However he doesn't know why one should be nice to people. This is not I would say an autistic trait because it involves to some extent playing a role, however I am not at his work and don't know how he comes across (he might not be very good at role playing). He has also mentioned that he sometimes think his work would like to get rid of him as they don't like him as a person, then at other times he says they are thinking of promoting him (differences in his performance or in how he thinks they see him?).

He has stated that his dad thinks he needs help and he seems to wonder sometimes whether he does.

I've asked him if anything in his past has contributed to his view of the world harsh behavior from other people but he denies it. Maybe it has but he doesn't have insight. He also seems paranoid, which makes me wonder about past treatment.

Do people think this is autism? If so do people think he could have a co-morbid condition? I'd like to help him but I do find him very difficult at times and his behavior especially having to win every argument is destroying the friendship.

Perhaps. More so if he has eye contact problems...

The truth is: I'd have to see your friend in person and observe him over a few days.

From what you've listed it's really hard to say if he's autistic or not. If he's interested himself in pursuing an answer to this question there are lots of resources available - online informal diagnostic tests that might give him some guidance one way or the other.

When it comes to something like this, "possibly" is really the only answer that can be given.

He clearly has some problem. He could have autism. He could have some other condition. If he engages in repetitive type behavior - whether it is rocking back and forth or flapping hands or listening to the same song over and over again - or is distressed when his routine is disrupted - those could be other signs.

There are people with autism who have never had an eye contact problem and many like myself who eventually learned to make and hold eye contact. But most people with autism have had an eye contact problem. But that is not an absolute

But if it is possible to stir him toward some kind of psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist for an evaluation - then that might lead to something positive for him whether he has autism or something else.

If he is not up to that there are a number of online screening test for autism and other disorders as well. Of course no online test is a definitive diagnosis - but they do serve a legitimate purpose for screening. If you can persuade him to seek some kind of professional mental health service - that might be doing him a very big favor- regardless what he has.

I am a little uncertain as to the reasoning to attempt to classify him. I understand you say you want to "help" him but 1. what makes you think he needs help? 2. what makes you think you can give it to him?. What do you expect to happen" "Hi ____, so I read on a internet site you could have autism. let's go and get you some help."

Sorry, I have had had similar actions toward me and it is very frustrating.

I actually met one HFA guy from special ed group. He did not specify other conditions, but he did have dyslexia. He did remind me of version of myself in a way, so I had some suspects. Later on, upon discovering I had autism, he revealed to me that he has it as well.

Besides, don't be so quick to jump a label.