Feeling like you’re doing the wrong thing no matter what

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Are there any other Aspies or autistics that feel like they’re doing the wrong thing no matter what we do or don’t say or do? I know I feel this way a lot of the time myself.

Do you mean kind of frequent feeling of overall shame for no reason? If so, then, yes.

I think it comes from being corrected and criticized starting at an early age for things said or done that don't fit "the norm".

I felt like that alot in life due to things not working out well for me & getting in trouble a lot. I kind of learned it's better to just do nothing sometimes instead of wasting time, energy, & resources trying to do something so I have more available for dealing with the fallout of things going wrong. There is a term called Learned Helplessness that I think applies to me in some cases.

One of the biggest things I struggle with in dealing with other people is covert aggression (what some people mistakenly call passive aggression). I hate that it's normal for people to be indirect and cowardly when they want to say something. I feel the world would be a better place if everyone was as blunt and honest as we generally are.
But to respond to your question, because of what I mentioned above I feel like I ALWAYS play right into the hands of conniving NTs who are far more socially and emotionally equipped to play us like fools. Actually I shouldn't speak for everyone but that's certainly how I feel. Perfect example: I've recently lost my job, in part, for accessing other people's mail from the work mail box even though I was the one who reported someone else for doing it in front of me. And now I have an upcoming court date for assaulting the guy that basically got me fired for what he did.
But as bad as I make that sound I do feel its important to still take responsibility for my own actions. That also makes me feel better, to not blame all my woes on someone else. I feel more empowered to do better in the future.
But yeah, I definitely relate to what everyone in this thread is talking about.

Objectively speaking, during the years 2011-2012, everything was wrong. Poor sleep, anxiety and health problems (all of which I have fortunately overcome), combined to make me a mess. Today, I still have some embarrassing moments, but nothing like the awful times during those years.

Sometimes, I'll be doing something normal, and for no apparent reason I'll remember my dad criticizing me for the way I was doing something similar as a child. I don't actually "hear" his voice, but the memory might be so strong that I feel sad and irritated.

He's been dead for almost 15 years.

"You're holding that knife wrong!", "You're gonna cut your finger off!", "Did you cook that long enough?", "Are you trying to kill us all?"...

His constant criticisms still "haunt" me in that something as mundane as the clank of a cast-iron skillet settling on the stove will remind me of his voice telling me that real men don't enjoy cooking ... or some other such nonsense.

No, I do not believe in ghosts, nor do I believe than his ghost is haunting me. I believe that the memories a parent lays down for their kids early in life stay with them forever, lurking just under consciousness and ready to be triggered by an ordinary event.

But if the action actually causes them to cut their fingers.....

Sometimes, you just have to put the plate on the counter without saying anything....

But if there's imminent danger--if your kid has a knife, and is about to cut his/her finger--you have to stop it forcefully. Then offer an explanation at their age/maturity level.

And don't get hysterical....even though it's hard not to.

I'm not sure if you guys ever read any of the Harry Potter books and/or watched the movies, but whenever I screw something up, I act a bit like Dobby and hate myself because of it. Like thoughts including but not limited to: "You suck and are not good at anything", "you suck and can't do anything right", "you're a lazy, incompetent, horrible, useless human being", and of course the simple "Bad James". I feel like every single day I mess something up and I have a crisis of some kind. Oh and my self-esteem is nothing.

I remember several marriages like that.

Lol. Can you describe it? Like just how you dealt with it?

I just remind myself that I am an alien on a covert mission to observe and study life on Earth, so as long as I don't jeopardize the mission, I try to not worry about it.