Most wrenching period for an aspie

Post Reply New Topic

The classic answer would be the middle school or high school years, where maybe people might be more outwardly hostile to you, but I've noticed that I'm not so much happier now than I was back in those days.

I can only really say birth through Elementary school, as I can't vote for more than half of the options, and even then my choice was little plagued by negativity.

What do you mean?

Well, I'm only 16, and my life has been pretty upbeat and lively. I got a hell of a shock when I joined WP and saw some of the stuff in The Haven.

As I have been through every stage on the list except for middle age, my vote goes to middle school. Hard enough for NT's, I'm sure, but for an aspie trying to find their place in the world at that age was just a mass of confusion. Most kids try hard to fit into a social group at that age and it sticks with them from there on out, but for me there was never that option to even have a group to fit into. And kids at that age have much less regard for others and will pick on the loners so they will look cool to the others they are trying to fit in with. And it usually works. I didn't care to be that way. So I got picked on.
Whatever. I turned out better than most of them, anyways!

Because I had little social skills and narrow thoughts. I happened to have two friends who taught me how to socialize better and at least broaden my interest range. Amazing thing is, we were SIX years old!!

Wow. I would think that mental disorders or PDDs would only be looked at if a person was particularly unbalanced or at least unhappy. Maybe down there in New Zealand things are looked at differently. Or maybe you're just one of the lucky ones...

Oh yeah I'm extremely lucky. Once during Primary, I was going to be moved into a class where I knew no-one, and my mum had an argument with the Principal. The Principal said "Oh he'll just get used to it in a few days like all the kids do." to which my mum replied "Well you obviously don't know anything about AS do you?!"

Needless to say, my mum won the row and I had a few of my friends placed into my class.

I'm only 15, and so far, I'd say Middle and High School. (Or the end of Primary School, and Secondary School). I'm having some what of a s**t life.

Middle school was the worst for me. Once I changed schools in high school, things got a lot better for me. I think that the presence of my favorite cat changed things dramatically for the better.

I would say birth and elementary school because you just start to find out you have AS then and do not realize how smart you are.

My 20 year old son would definitely say that elementary school was his worst time. He was so close to being NT, but not quite, and he kept making social mistakes and not knowing what was wrong with what he was doing. His parents, on the other hand, had not clue as to what he was going through. We were demanding and hard on him, and had no idea that he was having a rough time at school because he would come home so cheerful and seemingly happy. It was only when his younger brother was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at the age of five, when the older son was 14, that we realized that both boys had this syndrome. Amazingly enough, we moved just before older son went into middle school, and he had a wonderful time there. He developed his sense of humor, and even though it was a bit odd at times, he was appreciated as being a funny guy. He also grew tall (as tall as he would get -- later other guys would pass him up in height), and had opportunities to do things in this small town that he wouldn't have been given opportunity to do in his old school (i.e. play football). I highly recommend middle school in Utah (although I wouldn't recommend much else there), because the emphasis was on being "nice" as opposed to being a high achiever. It was a very beneficial two years for my oldest.

Kris

I was dissapointed to see that your Poll stopped at Middle Age. I wondered if you thought that perhaps people on this chatter were not beyond Middle Age or if your imagination just didn't go past that passage in human life.
Perhaps you can expand your horizons and know that there are people on this chatter older than 40 (because that would be the 'middle' if you lived until 80. right?) There are people on WP that in their 60 and 70's simply because WHERE ELSE do we have to go?
So, please, remember that youth is not the center of the universe, and if you don't die, YOU will be 'old' someday too.
Try not to exclude when you can include, cause you know how it feels to be excluded and that is hard to take when the very reason you were excluded all your life, Being Aspie, - when you finally get with people that are Aspie too, you find yourself excluded because of ignorance or just age predjuices.


Merle

I think I'm bucking the trend here, school and college years were OK for me, perhaps I was just lucky. Yes I kept myself to myself a lot but I made a few friends, some of whom I still have. It's the past few years that I've found myself feeling more out of place and even bullied, subtly, but bullied nevertheless. Perhaps it's because I'm getting more bolshy and ornery in my middle years. I used to just shrug off any negative stuff that came my way. I'm more inclined to challenge it now. It's stressful but it feels like the right thing to do.

Middle school through 30s...it has all been pretty bad for me, if I am honest.
Still, I suppose, at least it has made me tougher and equipped me to help others in a variety of situations.