Hi, I hope that this post can help others of you:
Recently I have been socializing far more than EVER before.
It was a learning experience, however it ended up with me engaging in risky behaviours due to being easily led.
I did stuff that was "out of character" for 3 reasons:
1). To be accepted by the people I considered to be my friends (peer pressure).
2). Because I considered that everyone is truthful & gives good advice.
3) I "looked up to" a person who seemed to be happy, and thought that I should be like them.
This experience has taught me that:
a). Most people don't tell the truth if it means that they'd get in trouble if they did.
b). Some people can be nice because they want another person to like them so that they can use that person to get something that they want which would be of harm to the person they are using manipulation techniques towards
c). Most people think of themselves rather than about the "common good of all".
The thing is that I am not AT ALL like the a, b, c, example and I even now cannot understand why someone would be like that.
I'd like to think that people can change, and that just because they do something bad it doesn't mean they are a bad person. We ALL make mistakes, but what is important is whether or not we learn from them. If someone learns, then they deserve a 2nd chance. If someone doesn't learn then they are better to be left alone & not to be a friend.
What I have learnt the most from my recent experience is that as someone on the AS it is very important to know someone who is not on the autistic spectrum, who doesn't have mental-health issues, and who who has an opinion I value. Someone who wants the best for me without the friendship between us being of any gain for them. In such a person their advice in dealing with social interactions/situations where I am unsure/don't know about would be good advice and worth listening to and abiding by.
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We, the people on the Autistic Spectrum have a choice.
We can either try to "fit in" with the rest of society, or we can be so egocentric that we can't be bothered.
I choose the actor. I observe NT's. I listen to their socializing. I practice it, so in social situations I can just emulate/mimic what is expected.
It isn't natural for me, but it enables me to "fit in".
It is VERY tiring and draining, but at least we can appear like them even though it is an act. Like being on the stage.
They can't see it is emulation, and so we are accepted.
02 Dec 2014, 4:12 pm
