Are you good at faking interest in other people?

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agwood
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02 Dec 2014, 3:08 pm

I was inspired to write this post after seeing an earlier post on sales.

Being an introvert myself, I can put on a terrific show of being confident & outgoing when deep down I can't wait to get back to my computer & books.

Interestingly, I read recently that a few individuals with Aspergers are capable of doing this as well. Frankly, I find this hard to believe. Any of you guys do this?



eric76
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02 Dec 2014, 4:01 pm

I'm not real good at it, but I did learn a lot from an old friend who was very good at it.



noodler
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02 Dec 2014, 4:05 pm

I hide my anxiety well. I know this because people I'm close to have told me I didn't seem nervous at all despite the fact that I was having an anxiety attack. I don't say much though when I feel like this.



hyksos55
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02 Dec 2014, 4:49 pm

I must be pretty good at it, probably too good. I act interested to be polite but that seems to result in to people coming back and wanting to spend time with me. My problem seems to be when someone shows interest in me I am not sure if they are sincere or just wanting something from me.


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senecafox
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02 Dec 2014, 7:38 pm

No, I'm not. And I don't even try. I don't even know all my roommate's names. Guess I should work on that...


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Skibz888
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03 Dec 2014, 5:16 am

There are times when someone will start talking at length about something which doesn't interest me and I become fully aware of it and try my hardest to make it seem like I'm listening. I mean, I AM listening, but I become restless because my mind's not focusing on the situation.

I respond with a lot of minimal "Hmm"s and "Yeah"s, but since that's not wholly untypical of me in any conversation, I don't believe people notice.



Jacoby
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03 Dec 2014, 5:21 am

Probably not, I can't see how other people see me tho.



Andrejake
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03 Dec 2014, 5:26 am

Definitely not.
From what i've heard it's pretty clear when i'm trying to look interested in something that i'm not just because of social conventions.



ImAnAspie
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03 Dec 2014, 7:57 am

I have no interest in anybody else and no interest whatsoever in faking an interest in them. I live for my time alone. In fact, I'm in a period of time where I can't face the world. I haven't been to work for weeks. I just can't bring myself to go back out into the world.

I do like my alone time but it's starting to wreck my life. :(


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SameStars
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03 Dec 2014, 8:21 am

Only in some situations (school and work), but it's something I had to develop. After a friend in middle school complained to me that I never asked her how she was doing, it occured to me that there is a social script to follow. Still, my parents had people ask them if I disliked them in the past, because at birthday parties I would do little else than stare at the walls.



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03 Dec 2014, 8:25 am

Experience, experience, experience. Practice, practice, practice.



eric76
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03 Dec 2014, 11:49 am

hyksos55 wrote:
I must be pretty good at it, probably too good. I act interested to be polite but that seems to result in to people coming back and wanting to spend time with me. My problem seems to be when someone shows interest in me I am not sure if they are sincere or just wanting something from me.


I'm in Texas, too. If I complement you about something, I am just trying to act friendly an am unlikely to actually want something from you.

The problem is worse because of prosopagnosia -- I am so terrible at recognizing people that I generally act like I know everyone around my relatively unpopulated area because I probably do know them and I don't want to appear snobbish.



dianthus
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03 Dec 2014, 12:10 pm

I don't know, it is hard to answer this question.

I can be very cordial with people even if I don't feel much interest in them. I don't fake that, it's sincere. But I can't really pretend to have much interest in what they are saying, if I don't.

Sometimes I do put forth more effort to BE interested even if it is not something that would normally interest me. If that makes any sense. It's hard for me to sustain it though. I can only do it for so long. And usually I do not retain much of the information.

As an example, when people tell me about things like their health problems, or having a relative go in the hospital, I care about what they are going through. But at the same time I may not really be interested in hearing all the details of the story. It's not just lack of interest but I really can't keep track of those details very well. It all goes into a blur in my mind.

Or like when people talk about their children, and I mean young children, things to do with taking care of children, I can't really relate very well because I don't have children and have never been around young children very much. And I don't want the person to feel hurt that I am not interested, so I try to show enough interest that they won't feel that way, but I don't really have anything to say about it either.



hyksos55
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03 Dec 2014, 12:36 pm

eric76 wrote:
hyksos55 wrote:
I must be pretty good at it, probably too good. I act interested to be polite but that seems to result in to people coming back and wanting to spend time with me. My problem seems to be when someone shows interest in me I am not sure if they are sincere or just wanting something from me.


I'm in Texas, too. If I complement you about something, I am just trying to act friendly an am unlikely to actually want something from you.

The problem is worse because of prosopagnosia -- I am so terrible at recognizing people that I generally act like I know everyone around my relatively unpopulated area because I probably do know them and I don't want to appear snobbish.

That's good to know, thanks.

I could see where that could be problem, I suffer a little from this too.


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