Rules every Aspie must follow (SATIRE/JOKE)

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I took these off the internet and made them more...Aspie friendly.

ALERT: THESE ARE MEANT TO BE FUNNY, AND NOT GENUINE RULES!

1. The NT always makes the rules.
2. The NT is always Right.
3. The rules can change without notice, at any time for no apparent reason.
4. Aspies can't know the rules.
5. If the NT suspects that the aspie knows all the rules, they must immediately change some of the rules.
6. The NT never bears the blame for being wrong.
7. If the NT is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something that the aspie did or said which was wrong.
8. If rule 7 applies, the aspie must apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
9. The NT can change their mind.
10. The aspie must never change their mind without the consent of the NT.
11. The NT has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
12. The aspie must always remain calm unless the NT wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The NT must never let the aspie know whether or not they wants them to be angry or upset.
14. The aspie is expected to mind read at all times.
15. The aspie who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks intelligence and is a ret*d/idiot/weirdo/nutjob.
16. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.
17. At no time can the aspie make such comments as 'Insignificant', and 'Is that all?' when the NT is complaining.

Got any additions?

16. The aspie must always be the villain. Even if the apsie is the victim, you must treat him or her like the bad guy.
17. The NT must make the mentally ill people and other disabled people the victims even if they are the bad guys
18. The NT must treat the aspie differently than other people and discriminate the aspie

Where did you find these?

I think the thing is, none of the rules of society is never absolute, you just kinda suppose to go with the flow of things which I think many aspies have a hard time doing. Like lying, many parents teach their kids, honesty is the best policy, but then in the real world we aren't really suppose to be always honest, cause it messes things up.

I loled

hahahaha

Story of my life. i know that they are jokes, but unfortunately, that is the exact ways that NT treat me. I have another one:
19. If someone who is more "disabled" than the Asperger, the Asperger must allow the more disabled one to pick and/or abuse them.
20. If the Asperger complains about number 19, then the NT's will punish them, put them on medications they do not need, and a severe behavioral consequence will happen.
21. The Asperger must understand, sympathize and/or empathize and go out of their way for the NT's, and if they don't they will be put in evil group homes.
22. the Asperger is not allowed to ask for symapthy, empathy, and/or understanding because they are not entitiled.
23. The Asperger is the slave and must accommodate NT's and everyone else, or be put into a group home and/or hospital.

The rules look bad and sad, I suspect that some of them are ones which I am expected by the NT society to play by.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

24. If an aspie is friends with a severely autistic person, he or she must act like an interpreter for this person.

25. If the aspie does not want to be an interpreter for this person, he or she must automatically be manipulating them. Especially if the more severely disabled person disagrees with somebody about something, particularly politics!

26. If you're a female aspie, you're JUST A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION. LA LA LA LA-covers ears-

27. There is no such thing as an autistic person who is not abusive towards their romantic partners. There is also no such thing as a Cassandra Affective Disorder person who is wrong, demanding, or with faults at all. Any denial of this will result in lawsuits, hospitalization, ruined careers, and emotional death for the autistic person. The CAD person, however, will get to appear on oprah and start various fundraisers, write a bestselling novel and become a household name.

Hmmmm ... Well personally, I don't follow these social rules. Only way I've been able to accomplish anything. And if people get mad about it along the way ... their loss.

~~ the phoenix

-- If something goes wrong, the Aspie is to blame
-- If something goes right, it's in spite of the Aspie's participation
-- If someone must be crazy, it's the Aspie
-- If an NT does harm, it's because the Aspie didn't leave them any choice