I was only diagnosed earlier this month.
To be honest, I had become a bit indifferent to whether I got diagnosed or not over the years, I just stopped caring.
I had suspected for about 8 years, but the fact I had other things in addition, made diagnosis more complicated for me. It was not spotted when I was a child, I was sexually abused, that added a heap load of complications and it was those that came to the forefront.
After decades of believing myself to be a useless failure, that total lack of self esteem is so deeply engrained that I am not sure this diagnosis will make any difference to my life at all. I already have monetary assistance, which just makes me feel worse anyway, as I wish to be a productive member of society, a society which teaches us that we are of little use unless we are earning our right to exist.
Also, in my area, there seem to be absolutely no resources so my struggles still remain the same.
I do not now give myself a pat on the head and say 'there, there, it is only because you have a differently wired brain' when I mess up. I still berate and call myself all manner of derogatory names.
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I am diagnosed as a human being.