Feeling like no one really wants to get to know me

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jetbuilder
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16 Dec 2014, 12:37 pm

I've told people who know me that if they really want to get to know me very well, talk to me via text because I'm much better at expressing myself through texting and that I actually really like having conversations that way. I've told this to family and friends (several of who have commented that they've known me for years but don't feel like they "really know" me), and they say they'd like that.... but they never do.

I feel like my family and friends have no interest in really getting to know me. I've only recently started actually saying that I prefer to have conversations via text, and that I DO like talking to people, but still, no one does.

I once tried having a conversation with my mom via text about something she posted on Facebook. It was going okay for a while until she suddenly said "I have to get back to work" and that was all.

I've recently started feeling like no one really gives a crap about my thoughts and have no interest in hearing them. Or that they don't want to put in the effort to having conversations in the way that's easiest for me. (I find it very hard to have in-depth conversations in person)

:(


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agwood
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16 Dec 2014, 3:31 pm

I'm pretty sure your family wouldn't be cold enough to not want to have a conversation with their own child/sibling.

But if I really am wrong, then don't worry. You've got a 2nd family that's willing to listen right here!



jetbuilder
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16 Dec 2014, 3:59 pm

I don't think they're "cold". I think they're underestimating how much I like to have conversations. I think they're so used to me not talking much in person, they assume I don't like having conversations at all... :?


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Dillogic
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16 Dec 2014, 4:05 pm

They probably don't (at least in the way you want them to).



yummymummy
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16 Dec 2014, 4:07 pm

jetbuilder wrote:
I don't think they're "cold". I think they're underestimating how much I like to have conversations. I think they're so used to me not talking much in person, they assume I don't like having conversations at all... :?



I find that with friends they don't seem to want to talk much to me on facebook messenger and text but thats my favorite way of communicating. We meet once a meek for coffee but I dont talk much then so maybe thats why.



RickyRaccoon
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16 Dec 2014, 7:34 pm

jetbuilder,
I've experienced this too. No matter how a person treats you when they're in front of you, the truth is that people are consumed with what's going on in their own personal bubbles. If you're not there in front of them inside their bubble at that time then you're not a priority to them. Even the most compassionate person cannot completely escape vanity. They may be genuine when they tell you "I'd like to get to know you more" or similar, but it takes too effort to act on it.



xenocity
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16 Dec 2014, 7:38 pm

agwood wrote:
I'm pretty sure your family wouldn't be cold enough to not want to have a conversation with their own child/sibling.

But if I really am wrong, then don't worry. You've got a 2nd family that's willing to listen right here!

It's not unusual for parents not to bond with their children and vice versa.

Family doesn't always except their own for whatever reason (if there is one).
Believe me, I've learned this first hand.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Dec 2014, 10:43 pm

There are many people, especially of the older generations (baby boomers or older), who much prefer face-to-face, in-person contact when talking to someone. They're not just used to speaking to each other any other way.

I don't particularly like talking to people via webcams myself. There are times when I would like to be in the physical presence of a person when I am talking to him/her.



Norny
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16 Dec 2014, 10:56 pm

Texts are usually used for short messages or flirtatious chatting.

If your family are 'very NT' it is likely they prefer the personal interactions of face-to-face, and find electronic means of communication relatively tedious. I would doubt very much they aren't interested in you.


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