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SteelMaiden
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12 Dec 2014, 10:38 am

I have been conned into going on holiday with my mum for three days to Jersey over Christmas. Here are a list of my problems, I would like suggestions on how to cope with each one.

- We have to fly to get there. It's only an hour's flight (I live in London) but it will be a small and very noisy plane, beyond what earplugs can do (I've been on one before and it made me freak out). Also I have, once in the past, been involved in an emergency landing on a plane that was basically 50% life or 50% instant death. So I have a phobia of flying.

- Also we need to get to Gatwick Airport. I'm looking at £40-50 for a taxi, which is expensive, but no other choice because public transport, especially on the 24th of December, is an impossibilty. And then there's the airport. Bright lights, noise, crowds, I will need sh*tloads of clonazepam just to get to the gate and even then if something happens, such as oops I forgot to take my belt off and now customs want to search me because I set the metal detector alarm off = physical contact = attack customs staff = get arrested (I have nearly been arrested before but my dad was with me and calmed the situation down, my mum is not as useful as my dad).

- My mum doesn't really understand autism. She said she wouldn't overload me but that may be a false promise.

- The whole hectic business of checking into a hotel, getting used to the room etc. will destabilise me. The hotel do breakfast and dinner, but I bet it will be busy with live music and that sh*t. My mum will probably get a bit drunk (she used to be an alcoholic and I have to tell her "no you can't have that bottle of wine" but she doesn't always listen) and then there will be live music, dancing around, loads of noise = I start screaming and exhibiting dangerous challening behaviour etc.

- I won't be able to run back home quickly if I can't cope, because the sea will separate home and hotel.

- I have been sectioned under the Mental Health Act numerous times after holidays, quite a few which involved me being detained and placed in a secure unit. If that happens again then it will destroy me.

- My mum is very hyperactive and is an extreme extrovert. She is also so extremely over-NT that she acts bizarrely. I really don't feel like I am related to her, but according to my birth certificate, I am related to her. How do I cope with her? I am an introvert and I am ostensibly autistic (friend's words).

- I suffer from migraines and I am expecting to have a constant migraine for the whole holiday.

- I have quite severe OCD, I do not know how I wil cope with so much contact with other people.

- What if someone touches me (by accident or not), or if I am dragged into a crowd? I will freak out. I have been in situtations where I had four police officers pinning me down to the ground and handcuffing me when I had severe challenging behaviour during severe sensory overload. When it gets that bad I cannot control the challenging behaviour / meltdown.

- I live most of my life at home or at uni, almost like a protected environment. Being thrown into a hectic, unknown environment with no routine would destabilise me.

I am going to take loads of PRN clonazepam with me and take an increased dose of olanzapine for the holiday. I will take my sensory toys and my textbooks / music to keep me calm when I am allowed to stay in the hotel bedroom.

I am just so scared of what I could do (involuntarily) if something goes wrong.

Help.


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I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.


kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2014, 11:01 am

I know your mum paid for the flight and the hotel, but can't you back out at the last moment? Maybe get a gift for mum in lieu of your presence?

How did you mum con you?

I don't think your mum meant to be mean. In her mind, she feels like you'd enjoy a holiday in Jersey.

Your mum will probably be all right with the other guests at the hotel keeping her company.



SteelMaiden
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12 Dec 2014, 11:04 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know your mum paid for the flight and the hotel, but can't you back out at the last moment? Maybe get a gift for mum in lieu of your presence?

How did you mum con you?

I don't think your mum meant to be mean. In her mind, she feels like you'd enjoy a holiday in Jersey.

Your mum will probably be all right with the other guests at the hotel keeping her company.


I owe my mum several hundreds of pounds because she booked the holiday on her credit card and then told me she can't afford it so can I pay her back. She wants me to pay for everything and will manipulate me if I don't.

My mum may have a good time but why can't she go with someone else.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2014, 11:19 am

I wish I knew an easy solution to your dilemma.

Indeed, she could go with someone else.

Alas, it could cost almost as much (or perhaps even more) money to change a name on a plane ticket.

Do you have a side business at your Uni fixing other people's computer problems?



SteelMaiden
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12 Dec 2014, 11:29 am

Talked to care coordinator. She said I shouldn't go but I have no choice now. So we decided take plenty of clonazepam and take a couple of sensory toys with me. I'm going to type up a list for my mum which she will need to take heed of.

I will post later.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2014, 11:34 am

I hope all goes well for you, Steel Maiden!

Please keep us posted. Use WP as a conduit between the "world" and yourself.



kraftiekortie
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12 Dec 2014, 7:30 pm

You know what, Steel Maiden?

I truly wish that you complete your degree, despite your challenges, and go on to an advanced degree, so you could conduct research.

I'm wondering if conducting research would be your ultimate niche.



SteelMaiden
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13 Dec 2014, 4:04 am

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I'll have Internet access there (Jersey is in the UK so no extra charges on my phone) so I'll be using WP.

I will try hard to make it into research. I agree that it could be a good niche.

Does anyone have any advice on coping in airports?


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I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.