Why do I say I'm sorry all the time?

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I was told by my manager to stop saying I'm sorry. I say it all the time. I bump into someone, I say I'm sorry. I see someone get hurt, I say I'm sorry. I say something that it ignorant, I say I'm sorry. I have also noticed that some of the people I know that have autism do the same thing. I wish I knew why and could stop saying this. My manager is going to get very mad at me if I keep doing it.

You say sorry because you feel bad about what you "did."

Most things that you "do" are not worthy of the term "sorry." Sometimes, a "pardon me" (when you bump into somebody) sounds a little better.

You should notice that people mean what they say, and say what they mean, without apologizing. As long as you don't personally offend somebody, there's no need to say "sorry" for expressing an opinion.

I say it when I feel bad. If I bump into someone I feel bad and think I should not have been taking up so much space. So I'm genuinely sorry and think it is my fault. I thought the expression "pardon me" was the same as saying I'm sorry? So at work I should come up with words that mean the same thing as sorry? Example: I forget to take out the trash. Instead of "I'm sorry for not taking out the trash" I should say " I apologize for not taking out the trash"

Words to replace I'm sorry:

I apologize

Pardon me

Can someone please add more to this list?

Just say that you forgot to take out the trash--but that you'll do it later.

"Pardon me" is better than "I'm sorry" because it's more dignified, in my opinion. It doesn't render you as seemingly subservient.

Maybe, when you bump into somebody, the other person might be "taking up too much space," rather than you--ever thought about that? This is difficult to assess in "real time," though.

It's nice to be polite--but over-politeness could irritate some as well.

Another phrase which is less subservient than "I'm sorry' is "oops....my bad!"

I think it's an automated response generated from not being able to tell when something really needs to be said "sorry" for. I used to do this some too until I realized that it might be being misunderstood as being rude or implying the other person was in my way because then they'd apologize to me and explain what they were doing or what they meant. Anyway, not doing it felt wrong too. Then I'd hear it was rude not too and worry about that again or have people telling me not to apologize so much. I think it stems from not knowing what's rude and what isn't and thinking you've offended someone when you haven't.

Well there's nothing wrong with apologizing when you've actually done something wrong. But if you're apologizing when you have no need to be, could it be some type of OCD-tendency?

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but I'm asking because I did something similar as a child. After I had one of my carpal tunnel surgeries as a child, my mother suddenly noticed how I was suddenly apologizing to everything. And I mean everything and for absolutely no reason at all... I bumped into a doll house? I'd say sorry. Bumped into a wall? Same thing. At first it didn't really bother me, but when it's a 24/7 thing, it becomes annoying and it was something I really had to mentally fight to stop doing. I was able to get over it just by the fighting thing, but it did come back again... maybe a couple years later or so. If it had've been any worse though, I might've required anxiety medications.

If that's not the case for you though, and it doesn't really sound to be, then I agree with some of the other posts. Perhaps you could just start with words like "pardon me" and if eventually, you'd like to stop apologizing (when you haven't done anything worth apologizing for), then maybe try the "fighting" thing I mentioned.

Here in the UK it's just manners to say I'm sorry with things like bumping into each other. Most say it without even thinking about it (just a way to show it wasn't out of hostility). Although, for the extra things, it can make you look weak and unsure of yourself, which is possibly why your manager wants you to stop..

Your boss doesn't want to hear apologies or excuses. Your boss doesn't want to know that you are regretful over not taking out the trash. Your boss doesn't want to know that you realize that not taking out the trash was a mistake; that goes without saying, or it ought to.

Your boss wants to hear you say something that suggests you are confident in your ability to do well!

So try saying, when you are approached about a task you have not completed yet, something plucky, confident and self-assured like, "I'm on it!" or, in situations where it can't be helped, say "Well, that won't do!"

Apology suggests inaction. It suggests that you are sorry for something you have done that you should not have done. We don't want you to retire and go into inaction! We want you to get your butt moving!

So, when there is something you haven't done that you SHOULD HAVE done, say outgoing, confident things, even if they have a negative sentiment. You could say "I must be crazy!" or "My GAWD! That needs to be done!" or "That doesn't look right at all!" and, if you say it in a sort of outgoing, "go-getter" sort of way, you are taking the "power-stance" that your boss is looking for.

And THEN you MAYBE say "sorry" or "excuse me" when you excuse yourself suddenly to go and fix the problem. Even if your boss stops you and tells you to finish what you're doing, it makes a better impression because you have shown you are inclined to TAKE ACTION to fix the problem.

I say sorry when I bump into someone.
Or if someone asks me to do something and I can't, I say sorry I can't do that.

On a related note, saying thank you, I probably do that too much as well. Like sometimes it's awkward to say thank you all the time or for every little thing... but it just comes out. And I want people to know I'm thankful.

Do you have social anxiety, or a lot of anxiety in general?

It's probably fear that causes you to say sorry too much, kind of like an act on impulse. Have you been yelled at in the past for not apologizing when another believed you should have?

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Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk