Hiding that you're on disability

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I'm on disability right now. I don't have any friends or relationship, so it's no big deal. I'm just scared that people will discover I'm on disability. I know I can keep it a secret, but I've heard that some guys on this site have trouble finding a girlfriend because they're on disability. If people find out I'm on disability I'll just tell them it's for depression. That's pretty much the reason I'm on it anyways.

The fact I am on disability is typically not one of the first things I mention about myself when meeting new people. But I don't necessarily actively try to hide it either, admittedly I do worry about being rejected by guys for that if I attempt to get in a relationship...don't even know I could actually have a serious relationship right now but doesn't mean I don't want to meet people including guys that I might end up in a relationship with. But then of course I don't want to be rejected or mocked or looked down on if it comes up that I am on SSI....though even if I was not on SSI i'd still be afraid of that for other reasons.

I hide I'm on it by not mentioning it and I say I earn my money from working which is no lie because I do work. Luckily I am already married so I have nothing to worry about.

I have heard the same thing. But I don't see why disabled people should be excluded from the "dating scene." Perhaps a working person might not consider one on disability because the financial burden would be uneven, although some people, I'm sure, wouldn't care. I don't know. I think honesty is the best policy. Being on disability payments indicates that in some way one is not able to take care of themselves, so this might scare people off too. I don't know. I would date someone on disability, I'm on it, so why wouldn't I.
My long suffering/ed male companion talks as if I will be getting a job soon, but I don't know how that's going to happen. He has distanced himself from me of late though. I know it bothers him.

I'm not planning to be in any serious relationships any time soon. I'm only 18. I'm not planning on telling the person I'm dating about being on disability because I don't want to burden them. I also don't want to be seen as disabled.

I'm open to dating someone disabled, but it's unlikely I'll be attracted to them. I'm attracted to people who are independent and have lived life. Most disabled people aren't like that.

I probably won't move in with anyone until I'm more typical anyways. When I allow people to move in with me I probably won't be on disability and I'll probably have way better social skills.

I do regress when I get sick, so I'll try to keep people away when I'm sick.

Just don't mention it to anyone.. problem solved. It's just an anxious thought you're having.

FYI my little cousin, who is also gay, has an online girlfriend that she's planning to meet next Summer. Her girlfriend is on disability at the moment (for scoliosis) & cannot work. This seems to be completely irrelevant to either of them. I suppose it doesn't hurt any that they're both teenagers and don't have career expectations of one another.. and in a way it's a good thing because she has a lot of free time to FaceTime chat. Anyways, just thought I'd share her story since it's proof that being on disability doesn't necessarily mean no chance of a relationship.

Another cousin of mine is in a relationship right now and working part time, but she's applied for disability and may get approved. She'll still work part time as she's able to, but is hoping to be on long term disability to have a stable income to know they'll be able to make it month to month. None of this seems to bother her guy any. They each have kids, too, and are planning on having a blended family once they're all able to move in together.

Disability can suck.. and it can be a major stigma issue that's difficult to overcome for many potential partners.. but it's definitely not impossible. There are plenty of people on disability who are in or start relationships. You can be one of them, too.

Who does? I hope you are able to overcome yours.


I don't know about that ... seems a bit of a generalization. Unless by independent you mean not on public assistance, which makes sense. But, I'm sure there are plenty of disabled people who are financially independent. As for having lived life - I think everyone's version of that would be different.

Seems like it'd be recognition of your disability IMO, which isn't bad at all.

Rather, it's showing that you're disabled and need help, and that you live life even with such a situation. That's commendable in itself.

My feeling is: if you are able to take care of yourself and be independent while on disability, then you're independent.

I don't disability as being morally wrong--unless people use disability for fraud purposes.

You don't have to tell people you are on disability; it's none of their business, anyway.

What I mean by independent is not having their parents or a caretaker overly involved in their life. Living life means that they actually do things outside of the house and are actually interesting to talk to.

I don't really fit that criteria myself, but I'm working towards it. I don't want to spend time with people who aren't like that because I think it will make my life move backwards.

No idea what you mean.

That makes sense.


That would be theft and wrong. I know that some people will not declare their earnings, which is also wrong.


Well, I wouldn't blurt it out upon meeting someone. But eventually it has a way of coming up. If you can supplement disability payments with part-time work that is ideal.




I'm working towards it too. I try to do something every day.

You're not going to like this:

But the best way to reach your goal:

Go to college or university.

How does it come up?

I think that would cause too much debt and exhaustion. I'm still open to it, but first I have to figure out how to graduate high school.

We have the GED. They must have something similar in Canada.