So, today I was sitting in the chapel at a funeral for my wife's uncle, a man I barely met once. I felt no excess emotion, other than my usual minor anxiety being amongst a crowd of people, some of whom I know, but not well. The chapel was a modern looking catholic thing in a country town, and the padre seemed a down to earth kind of guy in his early 60's. The last time I was there was for another funeral. The last time I voluntarily went to church (not catholic) was when I was a believer, several years ago.
The padre led people through an informal catholic service. Early in the service, I looked through the back window and saw the base of a windmill, maybe ten feet from the building. As I looked at the base of the windmill, I started getting a headache and felt an overwhelming need to get up from my seat and flee the building. I felt ill just sitting there. I have no idea why the legs of the windmill seemed to focus this feeling.
I resisted and distracted myself with looking at people and other things. After maybe 15 min, the feeling subsided.
Maybe 20 min later, after I had noticed a slight agitation in the padre's demeanor, he broke into the order of service and apologized to the many gathered, saying that from his posting in the army, he had suffered PTSD and his instincts at that point in the funeral service were to feel overwhelmed and flee. He said that his psychiatrist had told him to retire, but he continued to serve. He apologized for any hurt he had caused previously, and that it hurt him too. Then he went on with the funeral service and didn't flee. Someone said later that he had fled in other services, which explained his words.
First my own incomprehensible reaction, then his... At least he had a reason. I had no emotional or anxiety prompts. It just happened.
Is this an Aspie thing? I have had it before, though not often. Maybe once a year or so.
_________________
I'm not blind to your facial expression - but it may take me a few minutes to comprehend it.
A smile is not always a smile.
A frown is not always a frown.
And a blank look rarely means a blank mind.