Hi guys, I'm half looking for advice and half looking for a safe place to vent where I know I won't be judged. This whole month has been relatively stressful for me and I feel as though I'm losing my ability to function as not only how others my age are, but in comparison to how I normally do. The thing is, the stressors in my life right now are what most people would consider your average everyday things. I try and try to handle things just like everybody else does, but time and time again, it ends up taking a massive toll on my emotional and physical health very quickly.
- I got into a big argument with somebody I care very much about and it blew way out of proportion a few days ago. I tried to suppress my urges to stop and return when I was calm, but my impulse control was at an all time low.
- I went into the kitchen one morning and when my mother informed me that I only had <20 minutes to get ready, I realized I completely forgot about something important that was going on that morning. My mother insisted that I knew that I'd have to be leaving because not only had it been discussed multiple times in the days prior, she also knocked on my bedroom door 40 or so minutes earlier to tell me the time. I completely missed that cue and my forgetfulness was genuine. This is where I normally would just hurry and try to be as ready as possible by the time we had to leave, but instead I got really frustrated/couldn't think through it all, forcefully chucked what I had in my hand across the room, and then went back to my room only to sob.
- My frustration tolerance in general is at an all time low and it's becoming a burden on those I'm around during the holidays. When I'm in the moment, I can't fully understand how I'm impacting others, but I realize it later on.
- I keep missing appointments sometimes intentionally because I just can't "pull it together" in time for them. Not pull it together emotionally because I'm usually OK in that regard, but in most aspects.
These are just a few ways that I've failed throughout the last couple of weeks. I am having great trouble grabbing control of my impulses, emotions, etc almost constantly. I feel like I'm 13 all over again. I am regretful of my actions and I feel like a horrible person. I want to be a better person, but I just don't know anymore. Thanks for reading and hugs to anybody else that is having a hard time during the holidays.
23 Dec 2014, 10:07 am
