What is it about you that people find off-putting?

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agwood
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22 Dec 2014, 5:50 am

I'm curious, for those who actually prefer to socialise but tend to fail, have people actually pointed out what it is specifically about you that they 'dislike'?



TheSperg
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22 Dec 2014, 6:06 am

Some people can tell I am basically faking and wearing a human mask of sorts, this can really creep them out and make them think I am a psycho or something. Even though I'm really nice and don't want to be myself because lack of facial expressions and flat affect tend to creep people out too. They can tell I am acting and it bothers them.

Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't.



agwood
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22 Dec 2014, 6:15 am

TheSperg wrote:
Some people can tell I am basically faking and wearing a human mask of sorts, this can really creep them out and make them think I am a psycho or something. Even though I'm really nice and don't want to be myself because lack of facial expressions and flat affect tend to creep people out too. They can tell I am acting and it bothers them.

Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't.


That's ironic, because the true psychos are the people that you trust the most. People are never able to spot them until they commit the crime.



hollowmoon
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22 Dec 2014, 7:45 am

body language/ tone of voice/ my blank eyes



nomoretears
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22 Dec 2014, 8:45 am

Mean mugging/ resting b**** face

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Fnord
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22 Dec 2014, 9:16 am

I focus on what is real and demonstrably practical, rather than what is fake and barely hypothetical.


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Stormtrooper
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22 Dec 2014, 11:32 am

The biggest one is not always catching sarcasm, or not knowing how to respond to it.
Though I find most people more off-putting than they do me.


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corroonb
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22 Dec 2014, 12:02 pm

My body language is awkward, stilted and weird. People notice this but because they are usually only conscious of verbal communication, they don't actually acknowledge this with words. Their nervousness and awkwardness around me is pretty obvious to me. People don't tend to tell me I'm weird but I haven't been around a lot of nasty people. I also have obvious low self-esteem which seems to elicit pity which, unlike empathy or understanding, does not lead to healthy relationships. I often find myself acting in a "pitiful" manner which makes me think this is a strategy I've unintentionally developed to avoid hostility. Better that people pity me than hate me.



AspieUtah
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22 Dec 2014, 1:03 pm

Fnord wrote:
I focus on what is real and demonstrably practical, rather than what is fake and barely hypothetical.

Yep, me too. People say that I am unwilling to consider options about the things I have learned through experience as if everytime I drive a motor vehicle, I should take a driving class so I will consider all other options (a little sarcasm, but you get the idea).


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downbutnotout
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22 Dec 2014, 1:09 pm

I have no idea, and I've asked multiple people I've talked to on Skype calls or cam. The only answers they'll give are that I'm probably more quiet in person or that people might feel my style of speech is too eloquent/formal for them to talk on that level. Years of hard practice and exposure, and still no real answers as to why there is literally no one I could go out to lunch with.



existentialterror
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22 Dec 2014, 1:55 pm

People have hinted that they don't think I have any emotion. (I don't come across like a stable 'rock' without emotion - instead I probably have a creepy vibe. Now, combine this with friendliness, and it is a recipe for being alone forever)



Sweetleaf
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22 Dec 2014, 2:06 pm

Sometimes my clothes, but what I wear varies quite a lot...I have also had people compliment me on them. Aside from that people think my lack of eye contact and I guess I have a rather blank seeming stare, is one thing, I come off awkward and sort of fidget/stim and such in situations to where its noticeable I am uncomfortable. Also I suppose that I can be pretty quiet around new people, don't know what to say so that can make things awkward I guess.

To some people my taste in music as well as how obsessed I am with it...there is probably other stuff but sort of hard to describe everything.


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LokiofSassgard
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22 Dec 2014, 2:17 pm

My fangirlism, or rather... my huge obsessions. If I talk about them for days on end, I feel like it turns people away. It's really hard to control it at times though. I've been trying to use my blog as a way to let out all out instead of constantly trying to tell people about fangirl moments and almost dying because I swear PelleK is going to be the death of me one day lol. Anyway, I don't know if there's anything else that they find off-putting than that though.


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Raleigh
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22 Dec 2014, 2:21 pm

I've been told my awkwardness makes people uncomfortable. Then there's my non-responsiveness, lack of expression, flat voice, strange habits, monosyllabic answers, staring off into the distance, avoidance of eye contact, inappropriate laughter...so yeah, everything about me is off-putting, really. Anyone want to be my friend?


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KAOS
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22 Dec 2014, 3:01 pm

Well, I can only guess..

Biggest factor is probably that many people think I'm not interested in them. I assume that my way of ending conversations is weird. Like, that I turn away too soon or so. But I'm not sure about it.

Then, I just have different interests and opinions than many others. A very common small talk topic is football/soccer (Germany, you know..), and there's no way I could pretend to be interested in that. I'd rather risk people don't want to talk to me than acting as if I'd like to talk about stupid stuff. They just aren't the right people for me to spend time with, anyway.

But several times, I drove good friends away from me, and that's very sad. When I look back, I guess, I was too persistent about an opinion that I discussed with them. I don't talk too much about my obsessions (at least I think so!), because I've already known for a long time most people don't want to hear about it, instead it's more about specific political opinions that are very important to me.
And I sometimes think everybody must come to the same conclusions when they have some background knowledge about a political topic. So I can not really understand why a person I like and appreciate in everything else, would have an opinion that is "wrong" from my point of view.
Oh, wow, it's therapeutical to write that down here... Now I see why others have a problem with my behaviour. 8O :oops:



btbnnyr
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22 Dec 2014, 3:35 pm

I don't think that I am generally off-putting to most people, but more so to a minority of neurotypical females and sensitive males who share a similar mindset that is polar opposite of mine, so I seem to annoy them quite a lot.


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