would it help to have a class for social skills?

Post Reply New Topic

i get so mad when people from an aspie group do social no-no's, like monologueing me about their favorite interest, that i was complaining to my mom, and i just wanted to run from the problem but for some reason she wants to like tackle the problem..(?) i'm just a give-upper but she would want to find out exactly what we need to know and like start a class or something.

do you think a class that would fill in the blanks for us socially and stuff would be helpful?

by the way please don't take offense, i get mad but i also do the same thing sometimes as i somewhat have AS myself (tho i must say, i DID learn social skills...).

Last edited by Reflection on 16 Mar 2007, 11:11 pm, edited 6 times in total.

I think it would help some people, but it doesn't have to be for everyone with AS. Occasionally, you find someone (me!) who has great social skills! The only problem I really have is talking about myself too much rather than asking someone what they're like. But what can I say? I'm an awesome person!

Well, maybe you shoud teach the class, then, Lightning88.

That'd be cool!

I think ALL aspies realize people often don't like to hear about others interests. My interests have been eclectic. I can absorb just about any technology, science, and a few other things. Sports and the like, FORGET IT!! !! ! How could a social class help? Heck, if they don't know, just tell them!

Anyway, they could end up being good friends! You could be LUCKY! Be PATIENT!

Steve

A long long time ago I had this notion in my head to start a support group for people who were overwhealmed by existing in normal society..it never really panned out...but I think an autonimous discussion group..maybe with a couple of moderators or something like that would be better than a class.

I think there are classes about social skills. If there are classes for kids with behavior problems or need to elarn how to problem solve where they learn Passive Assertive Aggressive, then I'm sure there are classes on how to have good social skills.

oh, that's true. there's lot more help out there for AS kids then when i was a kid. But what about the adults (I'm 22)? Maybe we could use a few lessons..

I'm not sure that I can learn this kind of thing. I could learn to give 'pat' answers, but that's not all that valuable.

I'd like to learn social skills. For example, introductions - they just sound like information to me, and my natural reaction would be "Duly noted." But that's not right. It's so Mr. Spock. Anyway, that's just one that I know about. I'm sure there are others. Somebody on WP said, "I only went to the party to practice my social skills." I thought, Wow she must be sure of herself. I'd like to be that good at it. But at the same time I'd need to learn how to turn down invitations.

I've had many classes on things over the years. For us older Aspies, back in the day they would have drilled social etiquette into you at school. That's what we had. As an adult I had communication classes that helped me understand more about why NTs did the things they did (although I didn't call them NTs then). There are tons of options. Your mom can put up a sign at your local college and try to get a Junior or Senior in Communications or Sociology to come teach the class. She could also contact professional training groups in your city and see if they will donate the time to teach a course (they probably will and write it off) or if they could teach it at cost so you could all chip in and afford it.

I think that it will help to an extent. Drilling helps the most. So, if your mom is willing to do that afterward, that will have the greatest impact. You must do something 28 times to make it a habit so you do it by rote. That is really what all of you need, so you either help each other after the class or you have your mom help you, but someone has to do it 28 times consistently so that you all get it and do it on a regular basis.

Even then, warn your mom that success will vary. I can do it, but I am stiff and strange. Everyone always knows I'm not really getting it and sometimes they still think I'm rude when I'm really trying. I can't read their faces or eyes at all so I have no way to gauge success. I can't even tell how my face or eyes come across. That's a pretty significant handicap to success with that. I've even been videoed and had it played back while people critiqued it in front of me. Still nothing. I couldn't see the things they saw. So, just understand that success will vary.

Looking back at it now, the job I had as a convenience store clerk for about a year a while ago taught me alot about what people respond to, even stuff that most people don't know by intuition, just by trial and error. You get such a large volume of people in such a small amount of time, and when you work nights (which I did) alot of people will come in and try to make conversation, and are often pretty loquacious regardless of how you respond. A social skill class would never help me any, especially at this point. My social problems right now mostly lie in anxiety issues and conjuring up the energy to pretend to be NT.

It depends. With some things I am genuinely not aware of how to do something properly, but the majority of my faux-pas are more to do with a lack of awareness or being switched on only on one channel. E.g. it doesn't matter how often you tell me not to walk off upstairs while I am talking to you, in those moments I am not aware I am doing it. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it.

As I said on another post, I don't take solace in support groups. I would rather find support here or on my cat site, or with my cats, than with a support group. Those who are worse off than I am make me feel bad. Except for a bit of social awkwardness and a lack of knowledge about the right thing to say in certain situations, I don't have many major difficulties. I don't really think a support group could help me not to do stupid things. That is something I have to work out on my own. I have learned not to talk about my interests to just anyone. Luckily, I have places I can do that.

lol, i know what you mean. But ive noticed reacting impulsively mostly happens when im stressed or nervous in some way, not always though, i guess i can be impatient and always have to be doing something. Just try to calm down and think the situation through, it helps, at least since ive tried ive noticed myself not reacting so impulsively.

Yes definitely when it has been pointed out it is something I try to do, but a lot of the time it's not a reaction as such, it's more unconscious. I remember something and walk off, even though I am talking to someone and I keep talking even though the person obviously (not so obvious to me, in that situation) can't hear me any more.

Prompting helps though, because it is really something I am not aware of, but I am willing to work on it when I am made aware of it.