Do you go through phases of being more aspie?

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Do you undiagnosed folk go through periods where you feel you are more normal and almost forget about your oddities, and likewise go through periods where it almost consumes you and you can feel yourself behaving more unusual and thinking more about your thoughts and where you fit in?

I am undiagnosed. It tears me up inside that I will never get to officially find out why I think and behave the way I do. It shouldn't but it does. I have a 'normal' job, am married and have a 7 year old daughter. I guess it's the standard life from the outside but I have no friends and I hardly speak at work. Just sit in the corner with my head down. No eye contact, too uncomfortable.

I have recently felt myself having a slow progressive wave of oddness again. It consumes me. It becomes me. I shut myself off. I think about little else but why I feel and think in these odd ways. I get down.

Just wondered if others can go days and weeks faking it more easily and then s become submerged in strong emotions and off sensations?

Sorry, I rambled.

Why will you never get to officially find out? Would you want to?

And yes, I think it's quite usual to go through phases of feeling more or less affected by the symptoms, whether officially on the spectrum or displaying traits. For me it depends on a lot of factors such as physical health, stress, amount of sleep, amount of social things going on etc.

Too much to go through to get looked at. I am a 36 bloke and 3 years ago I had enough of living life like an oddball and went to the docs with my story. That along with my history (teenage depression, drug use, eating disorder) was enough for her to say I was only the 2nd adult they had ever recommended to be referred to a specialist clinic to be diagnosed. I got the forms through but found out it would have to involve my parents etc and I just can't do that so I never filled the forms in. Too late now.i guess.

My question was to try and understand whether that trait of seeming normal for a period then going 'odd' for while was actually an aspie thing. I am always trying to work out whether I am on the spectrum or not. Some days I think it is obvious, other days I feel embarrassed that I even thought i might be on it.

I notice things like this, too. There are times when my mind is buzzing with an idea, and I feel introverted and focused, and my Asperger traits show up more. The "NT emulation" part of my brain that selects what to say during a conversation seems inactive, and socializing becomes really difficult and awkward. Other times, I feel more sociable and comfortable around people, and can actually somewhat carry a conversation. It seems to just be based on my mood that day.