Being treated differently at work.

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Now, I'm not complaining. Please don't see it as that, because I really am grateful for the support I've received at work since I disclosed my Asperger's. They've even got a consultant in to help in a few weeks' time. I know it's a heck of a lot more than most people get. But here's the thing:

I think they're scared of me or...something. I don't know what exactly. But they're either treating me extra nice or excluding me, I can't tell. Maybe both? I have so many theories, but no actual answers.

How can it be that they're making allowances, being nice, but not involving me in the social side of things? I've always prided myself on pretending to be normal, but now I just can't anymore, because they know that I'm not. Perhaps I was better off unpopular and misunderstood, but still (in a manner of speaking) on a level playing field with everyone else. I don't want to be treated like 'special needs', I don't want to be humoured. I'm an aspie FGS, not a child/alien/monster.

Am I making any sense here? Perhaps I'm just being ungrateful.

I think you're making lots of sense.

You want to be seen as a person, as a contributor, rather than somebody with a "disorder."

I, myself, would be irritated at the thought of people modifying themselves to me as a result of me having a "disorder." I want to be treated like any other person.

Now you feel that you must work doubly hard to prove your worth. I wouldn't like to have that feeling.

What I would do: just continue doing your job to the best of your ability.

It was brave of you to disclose, by the way.

It is great that they're going to hire a "consultant." I hope this ensures that your performance will be even better than your previous performance.

Thankyou for your reply. I have seen your replies on other threads, and I think you should know, your compassion is exactly what is needed for myself and many others out there, so it's a really good thing that you're on here.

But I do find it dismaying that my only option seems to be to work harder. For starters - it's not possible! I already work my ass off enough to get twice my pay. But it's not that that worries me at all. I would like to be treated, as you say, as a person, a contributor. Not a person with a disorder. But is the only way to achieve this to once again mimic others, like I was doing before? Doesn't that nullify the entire point of disclosing?

If you feel that your disclosure will, ultimately, lead to a promotion and more money, then it was worth it.

If you feel that your disclosure will, ultimately, keep you where you're at, I would, in most cases, believe that it was not worth it to disclose (unless you feel a burden has been lifted by your disclosure).

What sort of work do you do, anyway--if you don't mind me asking.

What are they doing to make you feel like you are being treated differently since disclosure?

I currently work in a Road Safety charity, as an administrator. I'm very competent at it but it is a very poor match for my personality profile. I am trying to get into their editing department due to being very verbally talented (and also because this is a solitary role). So promotion is very important to me.

I disclosed primarily because I was brought in for disciplinary for being blunt and failing to react to greetings, so in a way I had no choice but to disclose. I would have risked being fired otherwise.

I have had no more complaints since my disclosure, which is excellent, but I am being excluded from conversations with my colleagues because presumably they think that:

a) I'm incapable of conversing
b) I have no desire to converse.

Which is depressing, actually. Ironically I am quite sociable, if only in the exact manner that I choose.

Do they have a secret fear that you will go postal?

I think most people are scared around anyone with any type of 'disorder' or condition, whatever you want to call it.

The only thing that I can suggest is to force yourself to be more social, but that is impossible for a lot of aspies....

Remember: It's a charity. You have to appear nice. Imagine you were in need of support, yet found somebody, instead, who took everything literally?

I'm glad you've been doing well recently, but sorry for the stress you're going through. I hope you get into editing soon.

Everyone at my work's nice about it but then again, I work for a Government Department.

This one lady I've known for a while (who has always been nice to me), since finding out has started talking to me like she's talking to a little kid. Not so much what she says but the way she says it. Sort of softer, nicer. It's not a bad thing.

+1 for fear

My first thought was they are scared youll shoot up the place. :/

Whatever the reason, I think you should make the best of your rrally nice coworkers.