Should I be bothered by my new nickname?
During the winter break, my family and I went away on a short vacation. While on vacation, we visited an old friend. Well, in actuality, he is more a friend of my wife, but that’s another story.
During our visit, my youngest daughter had mentioned that she loves Big Bang Theory. Almost immediately, the old friend (who I have known for > 30 years, since high school) said that I reminded him a lot of Sheldon (on Big Bang Theory). For the remainder of the evening, that old friend referred to me as "Shelly".
Well, without a doubt Sheldon is one of my favorite characters. And, I would consider it a compliment, if I was half as smart as the character. But, I am nowhere near close. So, clearly, he is not calling me “Shelly” due to my intelligence.
In any event, should I be bothered? It sort of brought back memories of when I was ~ 6 years old, when the neighborhood boys teased me, by calling me “Sally” (I think in reference to the fact that I acted more like a girl than a normal boy).
The only one who can answer the question is you. Does that nickname bother you?
Also, how well do you know this friend? Is he a nice guy? Does he joke a lot? Would he stop if you told him it bothered you? If so then it's just harmless teasing, you can even take it as a compliment.
If however he's not very nice and uses the nickname to refer to you even when you're not present or in a condescending manner, you might take offense. (It's only my opinion, I could be far off.)
I was compared to Sheldon Cooper once, but I knew the guy well and I knew it was just lighthearted teasing, so I took it as a compliment and laughed about it (I was also a little confused, because I'm far, faaar from being that smart, and I had no idea what Asperger's is).
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I like you, Rocket.
Sheldon: not so much. He's a bad aspie caricature. You wouldn't disturb your wife by knocking on the bathroom door, repeating her name, right? You wouldn't draw up a marriage contract for your wife, right?
Nah...lol Don't be bothered by the nickname. He's just kidding with you.
During our visit, my youngest daughter had mentioned that she loves Big Bang Theory. Almost immediately, the old friend (who I have known for > 30 years, since high school) said that I reminded him a lot of Sheldon (on Big Bang Theory). For the remainder of the evening, that old friend referred to me as "Shelly".
Well, without a doubt Sheldon is one of my favorite characters. And, I would consider it a compliment, if I was half as smart as the character. But, I am nowhere near close. So, clearly, he is not calling me “Shelly” due to my intelligence.
In any event, should I be bothered? It sort of brought back memories of when I was ~ 6 years old, when the neighborhood boys teased me, by calling me “Sally” (I think in reference to the fact that I acted more like a girl than a normal boy).
There is no 'should'
if u dont like it tell that person to stop.
goldfish21
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While it may not have been for your IQ & likely more for your behavioural quirks, I wouldn't take that as an insult unless it was said in a rude/offensive tone. If it was more of a friendly tone & used as a term of endearment, then I wouldn't be bothered by it at all. They're just acknowledging that you have similar traits to sheldon, who is quite famous/popular/liked/successful etc vs. disliked as a character or despised as a celebrity. It's a positive association, so in that context I'd be more likely to be a bit flattered than bothered.
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Thanks everyone for your reply.
I suppose the nickname only bothers me because I do not think he was considering it a compliment. While I didn’t ask, I am guessing he primarily associates Sheldon with being annoying and having obsessive characteristics (resembling someone with OCPD). With that being said, I do believe it was just “lighthearted teasing”.
Interestingly, I did not realize that I came across having those obsessive characteristics. I thought I kept that stuff mostly to myself (and my immediate family). As I tried to avoid “exposing” some of my odd quirks. As this was my “defense mechanism” to avoid being teased when I was young.
Should you be bothered by it? Under what circumstances 'should' someone be bothered by anything? Personally, it doesn't bother me.
I get called Sheldon fairly regularly since that show started. Usually it means I was right in the argument I was having right before the other person called me that. I have asked on occasion why they called me Sheldon and the answer is usually something like "you are smart and obnoxious".
In order for you to be right in an argument, someone else has to be wrong. Nobody likes that. Sometimes the argument isn't worth it. And sometimes the argument wasn't even serious until we failed to see the lightness of it and insult somebody.
Being right at all costs isn't always in our best interests.
This seems to be the type of thing were there is no should as there is nothing inherently wrong with it, but offense is completely reasonable. The only question is if you are bothered by it. Are you? If so, tell him. If not, it's nothing.
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OliveOilMom
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I suppose the nickname only bothers me because I do not think he was considering it a compliment. While I didn’t ask, I am guessing he primarily associates Sheldon with being annoying and having obsessive characteristics (resembling someone with OCPD). With that being said, I do believe it was just “lighthearted teasing”.
Interestingly, I did not realize that I came across having those obsessive characteristics. I thought I kept that stuff mostly to myself (and my immediate family). As I tried to avoid “exposing” some of my odd quirks. As this was my “defense mechanism” to avoid being teased when I was young.
It doesn't have to be either a compliment or an insult. It can simply be an acknowledgement that you share some things with Sheldon. As for Sheldon being annoying and sometimes obsessive, well I'm annoying as hell to my friends about certain things and pretty obsessive about a few things, but I recognize that I do it, I agree that I can annoy the crap out of almost anybody if I'm in the right situation or the right topic comes up or I badly misinterpret something and insist that it be explained to me right then so I can correct what I did wrong. The best way to handle that in yourself is to realize that just because you are sometimes annoying that doesn't mean that you are a generally annoying person. I know exactly when I'm going to go off on a long "Oh, you brought up x topic that I researched to death at one point in time and so I now know pretty much everything about it that you can know without getting some sort of advanced degree involving it, so I'm going to correct the mistakes and misconceptions you just said regarding it, then I'm going to explain everything about the topic to you in excrutiating detail while ignoring any visible or audible signs that you are bored, distressed, angry, falling asleep, or are trying to flee the scene" type rant and I'll make a little joke before I do it along the lines of "OK, now you got me started on x topic. You should probably sign some sort of waiver or just run for your sanity now, because did you know......" and then go on into what I want to say. I've also learned to make myself stop and ask if I'm boring someone, or if they have heard enough, etc. I tell new friends that I can be annoying and sometimes have quirks that they don't understand and it's ok to point them out or ask, because I'm aware of them. It's not like they are telling me something new. If I don't know I can be annoying now that I'm 50 years old, I'll never figure it out. I always try to give people an out if they want one, and oddly enough, when I do that, people will stick with the conversation more often than not and ask questions or give their own ideas on the subject because even though I'm going on like it's a lecture, I've made it clear that they can interrupt and change the subject if they want. Folks are more willing to listen to stuff they aren't all that interested in if they know they can get out of it whenever they want to. Also, they are about ten times more likely to listen to you if there seems to be a good chance that you will know, and tell them, some really weird trivia about it.
I went on about all that in the above paragraph because I wanted to show you how I acknowledge my own weird s**t, so when my friends joke around about it, or if they are tired of hearing something and want to ask me to stop and do so in a joking way, it's not done mean spirited, it's just a mutual acknowledgement of something about you that both of you know is just about a half bubble off plumb.
Joking about things that someone else does which are annoying and could be irritating, is a way to nicely let them know that they are being annoying, irritating, tiresome, ridiculous, godawful boring, etc. All of those adjectives have been applied to what I've been saying in the past before, but when it's done in a humorous way, even if that is a mock insulting way, it seems to be better received by others than just a sincere "I've really heard all about that subject that I can absorb right now, why don't we talk about NASCAR instead?" Most people consider it rude to ask someone to change the subject, or even to stop doing some annoying habit or quirk, but it's not considered rude to make a "fake insult" about it so that you both are supposed to laugh. I guess it's like "Sincere heart to heart talk in a social setting" vs "Just busting your balls about it". Lots of times people will joke about it like that to see if you even know that what you are doing is strange or annoying. If you laugh too, and make a comment about it then it's ok because you are aware of it and understand it's not normal, but if you have no idea why they would consider it strange, then everybody gets uncomfortable and you are labeled "odd" or worse. Maybe this guy was just trying to joke about it to see if you recognized your own stuff, hoping you would acknowledge it so then he wouldn't be uncomfortable when you do it. People could be really uncomfortable with some of my stuff that I do around folks I'm comfortable with, if they didn't know I knew it's pretty nutty.
In other words, it's ok to be kind of odd if you are aware that you are, and you know exactly what it is about you that's odd, because then you are normal but just quirky or maybe even eccentric. If you have no idea that what you do is odd, then you are seen as certainly not normal and probably somebody that many folks wouldn't want to hang around with. The only way to let them know that you know, is usually to joke about it. A serious explanation of your behavior and what causes it will more than likely make them see it as something wrong with you that they should pretend isn't there, and it makes people uncomfortable. A joke about it puts it in the category where it belongs, just something different about you that isn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, and not something that has to be tiptoed around.
So, I wouldn't be offended, even if I hated Sheldon, which I don't. I'd be glad that the guy figured I knew what was off about me and that I could laugh about it.
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People have drawn comparisons between me and Sheldon on multiple occasions, but it's never led to an ongoing nickname.
As other people have said, it's up to you whether or not you're okay with it.
I don't watch 'The Big Bang Theory' (I know a lot of people are up in arms about it misrepresenting nerd culture, but I simply just don't find it funny), but as ICollectWatches mentioned, he's not an admirable character. I see his character as someone who the audience laughs at rather than with. He's intelligent but not smart, kind of like a less complex and less sympathetic version of Ignatius J. Reilly. I'm sure people mean well when they say someone acts like him, but it's more of a back-handed comment than anything else.