Judging an NT

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Has anyone ever had the opportunity to judge an NT doing something weird, socially inappropriate and actually call the them out on it?

I did today and It feels glorious to actually be the judge and the jury as opposed to being the defendant.

Last edited by Mitrovah on 02 Jul 2014, 7:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Right now I'm imagining you hiding in the bushes, waiting for someone to pick their nose so you can jump out and yell "Gotcha!"
Made me lol.

It's hard to imagine wha kind of circumstance you are describing, but it doesn't sound good to me.

It sounds like the pleasure you got was in the feeling of payback and my instinct is that that is psychologically unhealthy. Unless this specific individual has somehow mocked you or reprimanded you for gaffes in the past, you are sort of scapegoating someone.

There are other issues. Are you sure you know the situation that resulted in what you observed? Is the person really NT? If it is unfair for others to judge you, is it somehow better for you to do it to them?

When I see people doing things I don't understand, I assume there is more behind the observed conduct than I know.

Last edited by Adamantium on 02 Jul 2014, 7:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

NT's always do socially inappropriate things. We shouldn't be judged primarily on our little faux pas, either. We have to adjust to the realities of the world, though--whether we are autistic, NT, or whatever.

I think "calling people out" when they're doing "socially inappropriate things" makes one look like a fool, and is probably more "socially inappropriate" than the action which you are "calling" the person on.

Just laugh about it in your mind.

It wasn't that really, it was one of my family members who for the most of my life was always criticizing and lecturing me about dressing appropriately and calling my non verbal behavior weird.

What happened is I said I like to eat chocolate while I was talking with some other family members, and right in front all of them he equated me with being a woman in a derogatory way. There was a awkward pause but I didn't say anything. When everyone left I tore him a new one and this was one of the the few times he couldn't re butt me in anyway. It felt really good and I don't feel bad at all for being critic instead of being criticized



If the mistake is little and insignificant, I agree, but when someone calls a person a bad name or belittles, humiliates or does something more egregious then they should be taken to task, such passive timidity in some cases almost gives licence for people to keep acting like jerks. it may not stop them from thinking like a jerk but at least they know there is the potential for being reprimanded. I don't see how one looks more like a fool he is right by the social standard or norm. You only look stupid if you make a big deal out of a small thing like picking your nose in public

Last edited by Mitrovah on 02 Jul 2014, 1:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I caught one acting like a fool the other day. I've ranted about it in The Haven, so it doesn't really need to be repeated.

Now I'm picturing myself doing this. He hee!

OP, I did not understand the precise meaning of your first post. Now that I do, yes, it does feel good when the person attempting to make a fool of me in a cruel way, is revealed as the fool. I do not consider that an unhealthy and vengeful feeling. It's nice when, on occassion, life is fair,

I totally see your point and immediately this what came to mind, except I would try be more open minded to others as I am pretty cynical at the best of times, it sounds to me the OP was referring to noticing something different feeling wise. I could be wrong but there's a sense of .. kinda similar to how it feels when you verbally correct someone who you know is wrong but this time you actually said it and know they've no comeback.

If you don't like NT's judging us,then why judge them?

Yes, I do judge, especially abusive behavior.

I can well relate to the satisfaction of calling out a NT for the kind of behaviour ASDers are so often criticised for. I've always liked the idea of getting even.

Having said that, apart from that obvious bit of satisfaction I don't think it's very helpful, and I don't really go for judging people, except as an internal reference thing that gives me an idea who I want to associate with and who I don't, and I'm usually pretty quiet about that. If it weren't for people being judgemental, our lives would be a lot smoother, so I'd be a hypocrite if I were judgemental. I do have something of the kind going on inside my head that likes to categorise people as jerks or good eggs, and I wouldn't try to annihilate that part of myself or dislike myself for feeling that way, but equally, I try not to confuse it with objectivity, and I wouldn't normally let it tempt me into blurting out a rebuke, unless the victim was really getting up my nose. I much prefer to be friendly and talk to people as if we're all basically OK. The inherent bluntness in my turn of phrase will very likely sting their egos quite enough as it is, so there's really no need for me to actively try to annoy people.

I don't openly call people out on their social mistakes, as I don't like it done to me, but if you want to then why not? Why can't Aspies be mean once in a while?

I have seen NTs have an "Aspie moment". I remember when I was about 16 at school one of the most popular girls in the class was standing with her mate who was chatting idly with some other girls, and the popular girl looked like she was staring into space and completely zoned out from the rest of the group - even though they weren't being bitchy or anything. Then one of my friends asked if she was all right, and she looked as if she wasn't expecting us to ask that, so she said, "pardon?" My friend asked her again, and she frowned and asked, "what?" again, so my friend and another friend yelled together, "are you all right?"and she said, "yes." And no she wasn't pretending to be all right - the girls she was with didn't seem to notice that she was zoned out and looking blank, they just drew her into the conversation and she was back to normal again.

So yeah, NTs can have a moment where they're unintentionally displaying a wrong impression or misinterpreting a question or taking something literally or misreading someone's body language or accidentally offending someone or monologuing and not noticing the listeners aren't interested, etc etc. They're just lucky that it doesn't happen often enough for it to be a disorder like autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, etc.

Being really interested in something does not mean you have autism. Using physical movement to make yourself feel good, does not mean you are autistic--dancing and sports are good examples. Being sensitive to sound does not make you autistic. Not understand people all the time does not make you autistic. All these behaviors can be found in non-autistic people.

Have often seen NTs, As doing irregular or outright dishonest things , that it seems other NTs wish to NOT. Have a issue made of it . Right up to Capitol crimes , and gone out of my way to let them know that their actions
Represent something much more than just a simple faux Paux , And they base their reputations on these oversights
( crimes) . Have been around court houses where I have had to defend , close personal friends , against dishonest prosecutors , whom just wanted to have another conviction under their belt . Literally attempting to railroad innocent persons . I was not , Prepared to be put into this position , but learned a simple legal procedure that allowed me to present details that had been intentionally ignored . Finally losing my own railroaded case as was so physical I’ll had to accept a plea bargain , when the prosecutor intimidated my only witness , right out of the courthouse just prior to the hearing . Moving the. Hearing to a un heard of third call for the courtroom. As this prosecutor was aware he had run me down physically enough that I could hardly stand up . Third call is a late afternoon hearing , after they had scheduled me initially for a morning trial . Had to wait over 6 hours without respite in the lobby of the courthouse.
Now am aware that a great many lawyers are aware of the legal maneuvering to wear down their opposition , cause the defendants are under such great pressure cause they are not familiar with legal maneuvers . Intimidation and
Fatique of the defense are some of their most dishonest weapons . Am not a NT. So these situations caused me dearly in health and emotional , and mental stress . But other conniving NTs. Put me ,or my loved ones into such positions .

My best friend is NT, and we both enjoy catching the other being stupid. He has false teeth, so when I asked if he had a bit of dental floss handy, he just smiled at me until I figured it out. I've caught him putting on one of my coats twice in a row, not noticing where he had left his. One time, we paddled a canoe about a mile dragging a dead trolling motor that he should have raised, and years later he added that it had also been awkward to paddle around it.
Usually, though, I notice that NTs are frequent victims of Dunning-Kruger syndrome, unable to even do their jobs except by rote. They are petty, wasteful, overconfident, dishonest, etc., but not interested in my feedback, so I usually keep my opinions to myself.