Im scared to get help for my problems

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Hello everyone, all my life I have been reluctant to recieve special support at school or college, or attend any groups that are tailored for people who require special support. I believe this is because I do not like to feel different. and attending these meetings makes me feel different and therefore further alters my self image and drives me into a deeper deppression. I may leave these meetings feeling perhaps superficially more 'optimistic' but at the same time there is a lingering thought in my head saying 'you need help because your different, an alien'

I have always struggled with accepting that i am not normal

does anyone have any advice regarding this? more specifically, is it essential that i accept that i do NEED help and any tips on how to accept that?

Thanks

I would say that the best thing to do is see a therapist individually. Many people see therapists individually; it does not mean you're weak or that you're conceding something. It means you are seeking to better yourself.

You've gotten by so far without supports, right? Do you feel you would have done better had you had supports?

Have you graduated college?

I have a strong, visceral opinion that once one depends on being supported, it becomes more difficult to become independent, and not rely on support. This is especially troubling within the context of independence vs dependence on parents.

But if you really feel like you would do better with therapy and support, then I'd go for it. If you discover a cure for cancer with supports, and were not able to without supports, then I would say that supports would have been the way to go.

I would say that the best thing to do is see a therapist individually. Many people see therapists individually; it does not mean you're weak or that you're conceding something. It means you are seeking to better yourself.

You've gotten by so far without supports, right? Do you feel you would have done better had you had supports?

Have you graduated college?

I have a strong, visceral opinion that once one depends on being supported, it becomes more difficult to become independent, and not rely on support. This is especially troubling within the context of independence vs dependence on parents.

But if you really feel like you would do better with therapy and support, then I'd go for it. If you discover a cure for cancer with supports, and were not able to without supports, then I would say that supports would have been the way to go.

Additionally, I am of the strong belief that "normal" is a relative, subjective term. Many people who fancy themselves normal really deviate from the "norm" quite a bit.

Im quite sure that had i been diagnosed at a young age alot of pain would have been prevented and I would be alot happier now. but other than that I don't know

I understand what you mean. What you've experienced, and how you reacted to what you've experienced, would have made more sense to you.

I come from a time when autism was in a rather primitive state as far as knowledge was concerned. The work of Asperger wasn't really widely known until the 1980s, and only became a diagnosis in 1994, under the DSM IV. Alas, it has been taken off the DSM V--but still remains in the ICD-10.

This is the way I would think of it now: I would learn from my past--but I would really make an effort not to let what happened in the past affect you in the present. Please let me emphasize that I'm not "de-validating" your pain in any way. People ponder their destiny all the time--and, sometimes, they have questions that want answers.

If I would have let my past affect me, I would not be where I am now (which isn't much--but it's a heck of a lot better than if I would have let my past affect me).

You probably have lots of potential, and have probably achieved much already. I'm not one of those "positive thinkers." I make use of my experiences in attempting to offer advice.

sometimes things in the present cause me to ponder myself and i sink into a deppresion, for example, I went to a gathering on saturday at someones house with a few friends of mine, we drank some wine and played board games, for the most post it was a success, but there were certain moments where tension developed between me and the host, due to things i had said, for example making a joke about the music that was playing, but the host thought i was genuinely complaining and she looked peeved, annoyed, now im afraid i wont be invited back again

=[

I wouldn't be surprised if the host forgot that you "criticized" the music--this would be especially true if you folks drank lots of wine. When people are inebriated, emotions tend to get exaggerated--yet, people frequently forget what occurred during their inebriation.

I would, in the future, not criticize anything within a host's party openly--unless you are close to him/her.

Again, I wouldn't be surprised if what occurred is so insignificant that it was totally forgotten--especially if you were all inebriated.

none of us were inebriated, which makes it even worse lol, even if it is forgotten, her view of me has now been tainted, she will subconciously taste of the negative emotions i instilled in her and she will not include me anymore

I guess it depends on the personality of the host, in this case.

But I think you'll be all right in the end. Most people aren't so stupid and irrational as to use your tastes in music that much against you.

You'll be invited other parties, other get-togethers. Just think of this as lesson learned. I had to learn the same lesson you're learning now.

Her "subconscious" impression of you is speculation. People have "subconscious" feelings about other people all the time. Most of the time, these impressions aren't used against the "recipient."