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I get so easily intimidated by people, am I the only one?

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GeordieGent
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16 Jan 2015, 6:42 pm

I am a really big person (physically), but I am also really gentle and it can mean some others put onto me. Some people are so positive about me as a person etc but I am so afraid of conflict I tend to just agree with others, even when I don't. I am excessively polite at times. Despite the AS stereotype, I have bags of empathy for others and I hate the feeling of hurting other people. I also can't understand how people in life can be so rude, it still shocks me to this day, like it is the first time I have seen it. I can stick up for myself now, if I have too but I hate doing it and I hate having to resort to that, especially if someone is off with me, when they are completely in the wrong but can't see it. I resent some people who force you to react like that, because some people just bully until they are stood up to. Does anyone else feel as I do about nerves of confrontation and the need to people please?



agwood
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16 Jan 2015, 7:09 pm

GeordieGent wrote:
I am a really big person (physically), but I am also really gentle and it can mean some others put onto me. Some people are so positive about me as a person etc but I am so afraid of conflict I tend to just agree with others, even when I don't. I am excessively polite at times. Despite the AS stereotype, I have bags of empathy for others and I hate the feeling of hurting other people. I also can't understand how people in life can be so rude, it still shocks me to this day, like it is the first time I have seen it. I can stick up for myself now, if I have too but I hate doing it and I hate having to resort to that, especially if someone is off with me, when they are completely in the wrong but can't see it. I resent some people who force you to react like that, because some people just bully until they are stood up to. Does anyone else feel as I do about nerves of confrontation and the need to people please?


There are some people who love that gentle giant thing. Think of Lou Ferrigno & his wife for instance. PS. it's a lot worse being the type that can be bullied physically easily (I imagine you have a line people would never dare step over).
I notice myself that the biggest people tend to be the gentlest. Take Andre The Giant for instance.



kraftiekortie
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16 Jan 2015, 7:12 pm

I used to be easily intimidated--until I realized that everybody's crap stinks.



agwood
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16 Jan 2015, 9:42 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I used to be easily intimidated--until I realized that everybody's crap stinks.


say what?



goldfish21
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17 Jan 2015, 6:21 am

agwood wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I used to be easily intimidated--until I realized that everybody's crap stinks.


say what?


He means until he realized he's no less than anyone else - that everyone has equal worth. The only one that can make you feel like less than anyone else is you. But if you feel equal, and deserving of being treated as well as you would treat others, then you won't put up with others trying to intimidate you.


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No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


KateCoco
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17 Jan 2015, 11:17 am

GeordieGent wrote:
I am a really big person (physically), but I am also really gentle and it can mean some others put onto me. Some people are so positive about me as a person etc but I am so afraid of conflict I tend to just agree with others, even when I don't. I am excessively polite at times. Despite the AS stereotype, I have bags of empathy for others and I hate the feeling of hurting other people. I also can't understand how people in life can be so rude, it still shocks me to this day, like it is the first time I have seen it. I can stick up for myself now, if I have too but I hate doing it and I hate having to resort to that, especially if someone is off with me, when they are completely in the wrong but can't see it. I resent some people who force you to react like that, because some people just bully until they are stood up to. Does anyone else feel as I do about nerves of confrontation and the need to people please?


I absolutely hate conflict. I think there are a few reasons ... I feel responsible for the other's point of view so it makes me nervous that someone is thinking something that I view as wrong. Also I have low self-esteem and feel insecure so I don't feel my opinions are right if someone else thinks something different. If someone thinks something different to me, it feels like a very personal attack. I guess that all sounds a bit contradictory but that mixed reaction is part of the turmoil in my mind.