Am I lazy?

Post Reply New Topic

It seems like I get more anxiety when I don't want to do something, usually for selfish reasons (e.g. not wanting to study so I can watch movies or play a game, actual anxiety resulting from studying) am I just lazy?

That's called procrastination. I get that all the time.

My solution: get the studying over with as soon as possible, you could pursue what you want to pursue.

I know it's a tough business focusing on things which don't hold your interest.

Inactivity is a big issue with me, especially since I quit my job and escaped the immediate pressure to work hard. It's been interesting to see that happening. It was always there in my private life, but I used to put it down to being exhausted from the job. I don't have that excuse any more, but I don't think I achieve much more in my own time than I used to when I had a full-time job. While at work, I noticed that I felt insecure about the lack of immediate feedback on whether or not I'd done enough work. In a sense I felt I'd be happier in one of those lower-paid jobs where you know you've performed acceptably if there have been no complaints by the end of the working day. You don't get that higher up in the food chain. You get expected to internalise long-term targets and work without supervision for months before they check what you've done or not done.

Yes, procrastination is a more useful term I think. Sometimes I wish the word "lazy" could be removed from the language. I think it was created by factory owners and religions to keep us down and to get the most out of us. It doesn't help to motivate me at all, it just makes me feel bad about myself, because in spite of understanding intellectually that it's a questionable term, I still feel guilty when I'm not getting much done. Procrastination fits better because I can remember loads of occasions when, once I've started a task, I've worked long and hard without any problem except how to stop. Problem in my case is, I've become very wary of getting sucked into that kind of thing, because a lot of those hard-labour sessions were really doing things the long way, and so were rather a waste of effort.

Another word for it is avolition:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avolition

My behaviour and feelings do seem to reflect that "poverty of will" they talk about there. I really don't think I'm schizophrenic, and depression doesn't quite fit me somehow (I'm rather serious-minded and anhedonic these days, but I don't think I'm clinically depressed). So maybe it's nothing more than procrastination and that difficulty we have in focussing on things that bore us.

My life would probably get better if I got more done, but I just slob about until things are starting to look like they'll get critical soon, and then I just fix what I have to, then go back to slobbing about.

My coping strategies are to keep up an effort to at least get a reasonable amount of physical exercise, and to keep a short list of any really crucial tasks. That way I can reassure myself that the motivation problem isn't damaging my health, and that there's nothing terribly important that isn't getting processed. But I still feel bad about all the little things I feel I could and should do. Just not bad enough to get off my butt and do them.