Can't shut out other peoples' conversations

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Hi,

I'm new here so I'm not sure if this is anything to do with being an Aspie or just a general anxiety/nervousness thing.

I have quite a long commute to and from work and I can't shut out other people talking, either ot one another or on their mobiles. It's like they get inside my head. I can't concentrate on reading my book and minding my own business.

I have ended up as a nervous wreck if people near me have had long and loud conversations. I've been shaking and near tears and had to get off the train at an intermediate station to recover myself.

I am generally not upset by the content of the conversations. I usually don't think the people are talking about me (although this sometimes happens if the speakers are giggly teens). I wouldn't get so disturbed by a continuous mechanical noise of the same volume.

I always have an mp3 player with me which helps a bit. I don't always want to listen to music though and I'm sure that wearing a Walkman/mp3 player so much over the years has damaged my hearing a bit. Even with the music volume quite high I can still hear the talking and I can see that they are still talking.

Can anyone else relate to this?

It can be quite maddening for me too. especially if I am trying to concentrate on something.
For me it's not just conversations in the background, but any irregular, random noise.
At home I always have a fan running to provide white noise. But it doesn't filter everything out.
I live in an apartment building and some days it gets noisy around here. especially on summer days with the kids running around doing what kids do.

Sometimes if I'm in a crowd. Like in a movie theater before the show, I will hear every conversation in the room. It turns in to this chaotic mess, forcing me to leave the situation for peace of mind.

I don't have too much advice on how to cope with this. Personally, I just developed a tendency to stay home and be nocturnal.

If you have to be in situations where you have to face it, good headphones and a music player might just be your best bet.

It happened two days ago. I'm on the subway, reading a book. Two Irish guys get on. One sits next to me and the other one is standing and hovering over him. They're blathering away about their work in film, which is actually interesting, but I wanted to read. No can do. It turns out that I'm sitting in front of the subway map, which they needed to reference. So the standing one is now leaning across me, reading the thing. Yak yak yak. Fortunately I got off at the next stop.

I try not to ride when kids are leaving school for the day. Gah.

Noise-canceling headphones are your friend. I notice quite a few people wearing them at times. Wonder if they're also using them to cope.

man that sounds horrible. I've had nights where I've gone to a party and the general back ambience of music and people talking plays on in my head, but nothing like what you describe. That sounds like schizophrenia or something

It's not schizophrenia but it can make you feel crazy. The sound level has to get pretty bad for me to have problems, but my daughter can't deal with a classroom. She wears headphones to block out noise which seems to be helping. Some good noise cancelling headphones might be just what you need.

What it feels like to me is that there is some sort of a failure of my brains filtering process and I get overloaded with far too much input.

I feel like I have no filters for what is relevant and what is background noise. Either everything is processed as "background noise" including the conversation I'm supposed to be in, or everything is processed as relevant, which leads to me hearing all the conversations in the room simultaneously.

Bernard Rimland in the 1960's (I forget dates) theorized that autistic people had no filters for irrelevant data. This is exactly what you're describing. It's in the neurology.

I agree with SylviaLynn; I think this is common in autistic people. I can't stop listening to other people either; it's not that I'm eavesdropping, but I always hear what they say.

I think you should get noise cancelling headphones.


But this makes me wonder--do Neurotypicals just not hear things? Do they really stop hearing the sounds of the refrigerator and the cars outside and the people talking? I find it hard to believe that they don't notice it at least a little, but they never talk about it.

This is a common problem for people on the spectrum as has been mentioned. It's part of the reason I hate public settings because I cannot concentrate with all the chatter.

Ugh. I hate being in places where there is a lot of background noise and chat - it's impossible for me to switch it off or filter out what I need to hear.

I've just spoken to an occupational health doctor about this who is going to recommend that my organisation provide me with either a laptop or an iPad so that I can concentrate on that in meetings for when the sensory stuff becomes overwhelming.

Hi,

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but was searching through and came across it.

I am affected by this too and believe the term is Misophonia. I appreciate this may not be exactly correct, but it sure does cover a lot of what I go through - noisy eaters make me want to explode, when too many people talk at once it all turns to a form of white noise and I can't make out anything, noise that is painful - fire alarms, sirens etc. This is, sadly, very common for people on the spectrum. I can only sympathise if you have to use public transport, as I would rather chew off my own foot than do that and I am lucky enough to be able to afford my own transport.

Like others, I resort to noise cancelling earphones (Atomic Floyd Superdarts) and music; I have different artists or genres for different situations. I also have to sleep in wax earplugs to allow me to sleep - the only slight problem is that on occasion I have been woken up by the sound of my own pulse!

Apparently, research suggests that controlled exposure treatments used for Tinnitus can be effective in some cases.

One Word: Ear Plugs

That's two words, I know but it's one thing!

Well actually, they're two things but:

GET THE ORANGE SQUISHY ONES!

Sounds can really cripple me. Especially the station master's whistle. He always used to get me the bastard!

Now I wear those earplugs (oh, it is one word) and nothing gets through. The only thing you need to keep in mind is the safety aspect of it. You can't hear Jack. If a car is coming at you, you won't hear a thing!

They're GOOD! Just be careful if you decide to use them.

P.S.
They don't block out tinnitus. That's internal!

I have the exact same problem as the OP. Too much exposure to multiple simultaneous conversations can cause me to become disoriented and shut down - almost like a computer crash - as my brain applies a greater percentage of its processing to manage each conversation within earshot. My filter is completely broken. It became much worse after I quit smoking. I have read that nicotine improves the brain's ability to do sensory gating. This is one of the symptoms that drove me to get a diagnosis.

I can't think straight when there's any background noise at all, unless it's very smooth and predictable like an air fan. At home I have to play white noise through my hi-fi system to drown out the slightest noise from neighbours, passing cars, and builders at work. The way people's voices unpredictably go up and down in pitch and volume makes them difficult for me to ignore.