My spin on the topic is this.
I've lived my life on the "outside" of everyone else. I've never found my place or my purpose. I'm getting ever closer to 50 having never held a "good job" and soon can expect I'd be lucky just to work someplace that accepts me...never mind if it pays well, provides benefits, or allows me to save for retirement.
I'm still living with parents...in part by choice because it saves money and they can use the extra help around the house...but I can't really afford to live on my own. Lost my job over a year ago and still don't have stable and reliable full employment.
My dad commented the other day that he worries about me. We never talk about it, but my parents must know I'm not "normal," and when they are gone, there won't be a lot of $$$ left over to ensure I don't worry about how to pay the bills on my own.
When I was younger and thought about killing myself, I took solace in that tomorrow was another day, next year was another year...there was always reason to hope things would turn around.
Now that I know about AS, and see how year after year passes but nothing really seems to get better, I truly worry about what will happen to me after my parents are gone and if I DO NOT have a good/decent job and am out on my own by then.
The thought of killing myself is with me daily now. I sincerely hope I get a stroke, heart attack or brain aneurism and drop dead rather than have to make the choice to end my own life. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but everything in life I had hoped for, I now know I will likely never have, and mere survival IS NOT enough of a reason to keep on fighting.
This could happen to anyone (including NTs), but people with disabilities that limit their ability to be part of society and be self-sufficient, they have a more grim and uncertain future than most other people.
Oh, and can we lose the duplicate threads?