How do I stop worrying about being stabbed/beheaded when I'm

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...out alone?
I've only got to see a man walking along slowly with his hands in his pockets, or hanging about somewhere on his own or whatever, and I start feeling very vulnerable and I worry that he's going to suddenly turn on me like a wild bear and start stabbing me, or worse, try beheading me alive. After hearing up on the internet about a 62 year old woman that got beheaded in a shop in broad daylight in Tenerife, it has freaked me out, and now I think it's going to happen to me.

I do avoid going out alone at night, and I avoid quiet places too, but I still don't trust people. I am very cautious, but I could still be targeted. How common is random beheading? And how common is random stabbing in the middle of a busy street in broad daylight?

What if I become Agoraphobic because of this? Why does there have to be such awful people about doing these awful things?

Hi Joe,

Random beheading is so extremely rare as to be virtually non-existent.

The vast majority of the time, people have better things to do than to randomly attack someone.

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious.

Have you begun to look for a new job yet? I think you'd be good as a caretaker.

If you are really this worried perhaps look into some self defense / martial arts classes. They will help a lot with your confidence and will make you feel more secure.

I didn't know about that murder. I just googled and read an article about it. That's so horrible and scary. I couldn't even start imagining how the victim's family must be feeling. I'd go insane. I wonder how the murderer picked his victim. Seems he had been following the victim before he actually killed her.

Any way, beheading, as someone said, is pretty much non-existent. Random stabbing is "less non-existent" but you'd have to be extremely unlucky to be a victim of such. You should worry about something more realistic, such as traffic accidents etc.

Being alert when in public should minimise the chance of getting killed in any way, accident or murder. For example, I tend to try to be aware of the people around me when at a train station. I keep away from suspicious-looking people (who might push me off the platform when the train is arriving) although I've never come across a dangerous person.

You are at no more risk than anyone else of getting randomly killed. Being alert in public will make you even safer.

Well I think those are pretty rare occurrences...though murder/maiming of people with other weapons than guns is probably more common where you live, from what I understand guns are not as common in your location. But I think violent murders especially in broad daylight in busy areas are a very rare occurrence. Is there anything you feel that makes you a more likely target of violence? Seems like you already do take proper precautions for staying safe.

I think it odds change on how dangerous or safe where your at walking is. I'd be more concerned about muggings or shootings especially if I lived in an area where they're more common like New Orleans.

Well, we all have to die sometime. Stabbing or beheading are one of the two least probable ways that is going to happen. I would say the issue is to make peace with the idea that you and everyone else you know and every one else you will ever know or never meet will die someday. There is nothing - absolutely nothing that will ever or can ever change that reality Some people find peace with some kind of belief in an afterlife. Others find peace in the knowledge that all pain and suffering will in fact be over someday. A future death is inevitable and absolutely nothing can change that. In whatever way possible make peace with the inevitable. It's going to happen anyway.

I have also experienced intrusive, fearful thoughts that have prevented me from feeling safe or relaxing in perfectly safe situations at several times in my life. I have struggled throughout my life (on and off) with OCD symptoms. Usually, it takes the form of repetitively checking locks, the stove, etc. but, when I am more stressed out, it will take the form of debilitating fear of some situation/ terrible thoughts that hold me hostage from going about my day. This post reminded me of those times, and I wonder if it has less to do with the news story and more to do with your anxiety level in general. What has helped me through these times was to keep telling myself that it was my anxiety level, not reality. It also helped to make deals with myself such as, " For the next five minutes I will not give into my fear, and not look over my shoulder." Or, "Just for this walk, I will not let fear control me by looking over my shoulder." The less you give in, the sooner the fear subsides. It has also helped me to meditate.

I live in a big city where all sorts of crimes happen every day. The only stabbings or murders that happened in broad daylight that I have heard of involved mafia or gang members because they knew that no one would want to come forward as a witness. Most crimes of that nature are personal towards a specific person. The situation you described is very, very rare.

I hope you feel safer soon.

I agree with this and I couldn't have said it better myself.

I have been avoiding going swimming at the beach (which I love) because of the numerous sharks spotted in the area, but you've gotta be bloody unlucky to get taken by a shark and as my mum so rightly pointed out, I have got more chance of dying on my way to the beach!

You've just gotta be in the wrong place at the wrong time for something bad like this to happen to you, and there's more of a chance that it won't than what it will, so don't worry about it.

If it's an OCD thing OCD treatment might help.

Realize that this is just a paranoid thought making you anxious and fearful.. and that in reality the probability of this happening to you is extremely rare. If you're going to worry about some really rare situation changing your life, you may as well fantasize about winning the lottery - at least you can have some fun with that.

Well, yer, but in the town where my partner lives (and I visit often), there was a random murder last year: a girl was walking to university when suddenly this man came out from nowhere and stabbed her to death. What's more frightening is, they still haven't caught this sicko, so nobody knows if he's left the town and gone elsewhere, or if he's still roaming around here somewhere, still insane and looking for somebody to kill next. And when I'm out and I see a man on his own, I often worry that he might be this murderer and he might start stalking me and planning on getting me when I least expect it. It's so scary. I hear of someone being stabbed on the news every day, usually around Essex, the county I live in.

I worry more about how devastated my family will be if I got murdered. The only way I want to die is peacefully in my sleep at an old age. Not by some lunatic that should be locked up forever. I really do not know why some people would stab another person to death, and I don't know how they can either. If they are drunk or out of their mind on drugs, they must have some sense in them somewhere to know to stick around in lonely places to target an innocent person, because that's where these things usually happen. So if they have the sense to do that, then I wish they could have the sense to just not stab that person at all.

I think I could help this anxiety if I could get into the mind of a murderer, like how they think, and how they feel AFTER they have killed. Do they regret it? Are they guilty? Are they proud of themselves? Are they so out of their mind they don't remember doing it?
Normally I'm good with putting myself in other people's shoes and seeing the world through their eyes, but I cannot do this with murderers.

Talk to a counselor or psychiatrist about it.

Thankfully I've never had this irrational fear or obsession/fear about murderers.

And I actually knew people who have been murdered, too. Well, kinda. They were regulars at bars I used to work at and one was killed in domestic violence, others at a party, and others via their involvement in the criminal underworld. And there have been random murders geographically close to home, too. But still, I don't have any heightened worries about being murdered - it just isn't very likely to happen. It does happen, but the statistical odds are so slim it's nothing to waste one's time and energy worrying about vs. living life.

Traffic accidents present a far higher likelihood of death.

Beheading for no reason is pretty rare. Some Mexican gangs use that method to send a message, but unless you are involved with a Mexican gang or live down there, then I doubt you are at risk of beheading. Well, unless you are a Highlander immortal, and in that case you would have your own sword .

When I was in my late teens and early 20's I went out alone into some pretty bad places and I was fine because I was always armed. I'd suggest you arm yourself with whatever it is that's legal to carry in your country. I carried a .357 Mag. Try finding a purse to put that thing in or a jacket that covers it without making you look lopsided! I could have gone for a regular ladies .38 but I fell in love with that.357 - it was beautiful. I know you can't carry guns in England though, so that's not an option for you. Is pepper spray legal there? A knife is an option but I would NOT suggest that anyone carry a knife unless they knew what they were doing with it cause it's not as simple as it looks.

Don't put out that "victim vibe" when you are walking around either. Being scared doesn't give it off, how you carry yourself gives it off. Walk like if anybody messes with you they are done for, even if thats not true. That helps. Also, don't put yourself in harms way. Look up that website for "No Nonsense Self Defense" as well.

Oddly enough, years ago when I was way into the Highlander series on TV, I had a sword and carried it in my car. I just liked to carry it though, I knew that nobody was gonna come after me with something like that and also if they did, as much as I would have liked to engage in sword battle with them (learned from a Tang So Do course I took as well) I would have just ran for safety and called the cops cause if somebody is going to try and kill you with a sword, they are nuts. I did once chase someone with it in Bham, but it was an intruder and all I had at the time was a sword in my house.