Have you ever been made the "butt of the joke".
DestinedToBeAPotato
Sea Gull
Joined: 31 Jan 2015
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 238
Location: floating on the molecular clouds of interstellar space
"Butt of the joke" - Being made fun of, and kind of being used as "material" for the joke, if that make sense.
I have noticed this on many occasions and it has been going on for like 6 years.. It appears that my NT peers are able to sense that something is "off" about me.. They do noy know I have ASD but they notice my social ineptitude and inability to react to certain situations, and somehow in their minds it is a joke to make me feel uncomfortable as possible so they can get a kick out of it.. As an individual with autism, I of course have sensory issues and I don't really like being suddenly touched by people.. This often results in me squirming in discomfort.. To them that is absolutely hysterical. It's not like I'm being bullied, because generally people leave me alone and don't really bother me.. And it's not really with malicious intentions because that's how these NT's joke with each other.. For example my NT peers will shout "I love you Bae! " to one another and the person on thr receiving end will reply accordingly, in a jokey manner. When they try to engage me in this kind of humour, it generally confuses me because I don't know how to react and how to reply, it is like my brain goes into an over drive searching for the right thing to say or do, and this generally results in an INCREDIBLY awkward reaction - and that seems to get the NT laughing their asses off.
Because I interpret things literally in the present moment, I am unable to say to a complete stranger "I love you too Bae" because, it is most certain I don't love them - So according my logic, why should I say it?
Have you guys ever experienced something like this? Where NT's make your lack of social skills into a joke?
_________________
Hasn't happened to me much as far as I know, but very likely it's happened behind my back sometimes. It was very common in my workplace. I guess I was lucky that there were always individuals around who were stranger than I am, so I wasn't the one obvious target.
Nearest thing I can remember is years ago when I was with some friends. The conversation moved from idea to idea too quickly for my Aspie brain, so I'd get stuck on one of the ideas and go quiet, and much later, after they'd moved on from it, I'd chip in with a comment about that idea. This frustrated and amused them, and their NT leader likened me to a character in a TV soap opera, an old woman who apparently did that because of senility. But it came over very benignly, and I didn't feel hurt. I know one guy these days who keeps having a dig at me for random things, but the others don't seem to rise to the occasion. First time or two, I just felt embarrassed and ignored his comment, after that I managed a quick reply that turned the joke back onto him, but I don't know I'll be so lucky again.
I don't think it always means that the group / person dislikes you. Some groups of NTs enjoy "insulting" each other, and for them it's a sign that they want to play, it's a way of getting closer. It seems silly. I think I understand why it works for them, but it would be a long explanation.
If you don't understand the procedures behind their "in-jokes," it's hard to act appropriately. I think it's helpful to be able to fake a short, loud-ish laugh. It tells them you've picked up the general purpose of their strange behaviour, it discharges a bit of tension, and it tells them you're not feeling intimidated.
If you basically don't like them, it's very hard to fit in. I've been stuck in groups of people I mostly disliked. I found myself eventually learning to fake a bit of warmth, though I never liked myself for doing it and was quite economical with it, didn't want it to spill over into being sycophantic. The first group were often pretty horrible people. Later on the people were generally better, though still not often what I'd call friend material. It was then easier to "fake" the warmth. I'd also mellowed with age and didn't see it as so beneath me to try to be friendly to somebody who had done one or two things I disapproved of, so the faking became more genuine. But I always had a feeling of not really being a part of it all, just surviving in spite of them and sharing very little about myself.
Browncoat
Deinonychus
Joined: 14 Feb 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 362
Location: Near one of the Great Lakes
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,973
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
I was the butt of the joke at a factory that I worked at. The girls that I hung out with took every opportunity they could to try and make me look like a fool. They also tried to boss me around, telling me to play, sing or make animal noises. I've flat out refused to give into their stupid orders.
_________________
The Family Enigma
When I was in school I was badly bullied and was called horrible things and ret*d and weird were the main two,but I remember one time at school a girl who always picked on me said I was the biggest joke in the entire school,and now sometimes my husband likes to make fun of my quirks but yeah I do know how it feels to be the butt of people's jokes.
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