Loners Respond

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Hi,

I'm a loner but I'm never lonely. I enjoy my own company.

I read an article that said you couldn't live alone if you don't love yourself. If you don't like yourself or if you don't like your own company.

. Well, I happen to love my own company so I'm no indication as to whether self love is a good or bad thing. I think it's like a knife. In itself, it is neither good or bad. It just is. And whether you make a good or bad judgement on it depends on what you do with it!

agreed but its still nice to have friends

Amen to that...

I'm almost never lonely and in fact would rather be alone than with people.

I'm not sure about the "you couldn't live alone if you don't love yourself" thing, though. Because of the notion "all humans are social creatures", I have wondered before if I was deceiving myself, and my self-esteem suffered as a result. However, after some introspection alone, I have realized that I am truly a loner.

I think I'm extremely socially anhedonic, and since most people are the opposite of this, they tend to assume being highly social is a universal human characteristic. Also, if they do meet someone who isn't very social, they will assume that that person deep down is actually social due to confirmation bias.

I am similar to this. I am ok with socilization a few times a month but would be fine without it.

I've got two friends - one of which picked me. I didn't choose to be his friend. He's the son of a (female) neighbor with whom I went to school with. Funny, a 25 year old male should try to befriend a 47 year old male across the street but now he's got blood clots in his leg and can't drink any more so that might be the end of our association.

The other 'friend' I've got, I've known since I was 6 and he lives around the corner and we're both raging alcoholics That's the only reason we stay together - because we've got drinking in common but I tell you, if I wasn't a drinker, I'd be free. I'd have no friends and that suits me fine. I don't get this "you've got to get married and have 2 children" mindset. Life is life! However you live it. I've never been one to let society tell me how to live. I've always done my own thing however I've wanted to do it and never paid much attention to what or how others are doing things or what they think.

I really like the expression, "Alone, Not lonely!" I think I just made that up now but it really sums me up. I don't want company. I don't need company. I've been on this rock for 47 years and I know what's what! And I know I sure don't need the company of some carbon based, O breather.

I have no friends outside from my mom, dad and dog. I don't need them in all honesty. I've tried having friends before only to be back-stabbed, betrayed and had secrets revealed.

I distrust others a good amount, even if their intentions are good (like a fair amount of people on this site). I'm fine with no social interaction, as I end up getting lost in my own thoughts and my interests, plus I tend to space out quite a bit nowadays.

Everyone is alone part of the time every day. Unless they always use busy public restrooms.

What is the threshold for being considered "Alone" that would also qualify as "should be lonely"?

Does this include nonphysical contact like telephoning, texting, messaging, forum posting, letter writing, or overhearing loud neighbors and lawnmowers, and therefore knowing you're not alone?

Does "Alone" have proximity or is it just "if I can't see them," which could be achieved by thin walls, cardboard, or office cubicles.

Perhaps you don't feel lonely because you're not really alone?

To me, alone means not initiating contact with anyone else, which I don't. You can't help but having neighbors who want/need to mow their lawn. People who live around you etc. but what I'm talking about alone... Don't be stupid! You know what I mean! I don't make or keep friends with people. They befriend me and I don't have the balls to say, "Go Away!" like I'd like to do so I got company. I don't want or need it. It just seems to happen. I bet if I was really a lonely person who wanted company, no one would come around. That's life. Those acts of God have a way of sticking it in and breaking it off, don't they!

It is hard for me to trust others, and I tend to be socially anxious because of it, which is one reason why I prefer to be alone. Another reason for that is that I not only like to think, but I also need to have some time to think every day in order to focus.

Spot On IntellectualCat. Time each day to think, in peace and quiet. There's an expression I got whilst listening to a John Denver song, "Rocky Mountain High". The lyrics were "Quiet Solitude" and that just resonated so well with me that it has now become my "phrase"! My motto in life.

"Quiet" I love the quiet (but I do like music as well. I actually met a woman once who didn't like any form of beat, music, nothing. She'd also never had McDonalds so I just wrote her off as mad).

"Solitude" All alone in peace and quiet.

They tend to go hand in hand, don't they?

I live alone and can go for days with no human contact. I like it that way.

I have my support workers visitng twice a week but that's not social, it's professional help and I need their help to make sure I don't starve or get unpaid bills.

My mum and I meet up sometimes (my dad lives 1,000 miles away from me - parents divorced ages ago) but I have to take extra olanzapine before I meet my mum. She is very social. I don't like social.

I have a friend but we only meet up or talk when we need help from each other - e.g. I will ask him to fix my computer or he will ask me for advice on a medication (I'm a pharmacology student).

I don't do social. That's it.

I have been also, and it seems to be a part of a much more general anhedonia.
I'm trying to work on changing this now because it seems to be very toxic over the long term.

I was the same. When I was in St. John of God hospital for depression and my Mum wanted to visit, I'd get the nursing staff to dose me up so I could stand it. What the hell's wrong with us? I don't do social either. Never have.

The only downside to being a loner I'm finding out is that I don't eat. I haven't eaten a single thing in 3 days and I don't feel hungry. I love living by myself but I'm not sure I'm real good at it. Oh well, some day I'll die. C'est la vie! Hopefully!

friends sure can come in handy at times.

Embodying Occam's Razor is not at all a bad way to live. I used to drink quite a lot and I've no serious regrets, I laughed my ass off. Woohoo! Vodka! Did anyone bring some Luksosowa to this thread? Other people are the only ones who look down on me for that, and I couldn't care less what they think. They're blithely supporting a doomed empire anyway. I'm a dirty hippie who loves danger and nobody who obeys gravity can take that away from me.