Embarrassing incident with professor...

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GreatAlli
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05 Feb 2015, 8:24 pm

There was a misunderstanding with a homework assignment and my professor had confronted me about it. It was a misunderstanding, so I was naturally very confused and had no idea what the problem was because I knew that I hadn't done anything wrong. Specifics aren't important, but the issue at hand was serious and the teacher approached it appropriately in a very stern manner. I explained what had happened and was becoming very overwhelmed with the situation. I started to choke up w/ tears, stopped even looking in their direction, and was still trying to suppress any hand stims that were coming. I was essentially on the brink of a shutdown.

The professor was understanding and said they now understood that I hadn't done anything wrong and was simultaneously trying to soothe me with what they were saying, but I was hardly responding. I left to go home, was able to calm myself down before reaching *that point*, and life went on. I was later sent a followup e-mail clarifying that the situation was OK and thanked for clarifying everything. I feel mortified, though. This isn't exactly my first time losing my calm while being in a somewhat stressful situation involving people like teachers. I doubt professors get these kinds of reactions on the regular from supposedly mature college students. I just hope the prof doesn't look lowly upon me for how I ended up responding.

Enough with my vent, has anybody else been in similar situations with school or work?



TheAP
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05 Feb 2015, 8:34 pm

Yeah. I get very upset when I feel that a teacher has been unfair or misunderstood me. I have a burning need to explain myself and right the wrong, and I usually end up yelling and crying. Don't worry - from what you wrote it sounds like your professor is very understanding.



AspieUtah
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05 Feb 2015, 8:38 pm

It sounds to me that you taught your educators about students like yourself, and their methods of confrontations. Congratulations!

I have been in the same kinds of situations, though not necessarily educational. I learned over time that, at the point in a conversation where it appears to me that others misunderstand me, I need to ask them to detail their concerns (during which time I say nothing and take notes), after which I promise to "get back to them" with my answers, leaving before the conversation repeats itself or gets worse. No one can be expected to defend themselves impromptu, and do it well. Enjoying the advantage that the distance of time provides is very beneficial and it is available to all parties of the conversation. In other words, you have the right to consider their concerns and reply after you have made your considerations.

I am glad that your experience worked out well for you. I doubt that your educators will consider you anything other than helpful. :D


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Swordfish210
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06 Feb 2015, 1:42 pm

First of all I think you acted excellent under the circumstances. You left before things got completely out of control and the email was a very good choice.

Secondly I would urge not to underestimate teachers. I did a year between high school and college at a small private college where I only had a small number of teachers. At the end of the year one of them (whom I did not know very well at all) approached me and said he thought I acted strange at first before he realized I had Aspergers. He then confided that he too was on the spectrum!


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