Food Manners

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I don't understand the rituals surrounding eating. Why is eating as a group made such a fuss of? I prefer to just eat when hungry. And trying to converse with someone while eating, I find to be unpleasant.

Also, why is it necessary to eat when you don't like the food or aren't hungry if a group is having a meal?

Im not sure about the actual rituals involved, however I do have a REALLY funny story regarding table manners.

I indicated to my daughter (who I suspect is wired similarly to the way I am) that I didn't use a napkin because secretly I was a barbarian. She asked me, whats a Barbarian? So I showed her a picture of what a Barbarian might look like.

Hereafter, she always uses a napkin, and when I don't use one, brings it to my table place saying, "here, you need to use one of these, and quit being a barbarian."

I didn't know you were supposed to eat when not hungry, that is a way to get fat. Gosh no wonder lot of Americans are overweight.

It's considered rude to decline a food when someone made it. This rule doesn't apply when you have food allergies or have diabetes or food sensories or other medical problem that restricts your food intake. I am sure a strict diet would count too but I think that would fall under medical.

I love eating with others, especially when I've made the food. Sharing food is deeply humanising, it's a fundamental human ritual. It's why religious ceremonial often involves sharing food such as Holy Communion, it creates a bond between people.

Logistics/efficiency? Given electricity/gas is being used, it makes sense to cook for more than one, as cooking individually would use more energy, therefore be more costly.

Don't talk whilst eating then?

Surely depends on circumstance - it could be seen as rude to accept a dinner invite then not eat. However, if you're going out for the night and a meal is part of the night out, you could just say you're not hungry, or go a walk whilst others are eating, then catch up afterwards.

It's your decision to conform (or not) - no-one is forcing you.

It almost seems like food worship to me. Which makes sense when you think of early hunters and feasts. But is it necessary today?


I can't imagine deciding when to eat based on electrical consumption. That would be bring a slave to the machine.


It's ruder not to talk than not to eat.


I agree, it would be rude to accept a dinner invitation and not eat. I hate eating people's cooking though -again the related fussing.

And I very rarely eat with others. I prefer to talk over coffee.

Or would suggest one has bills to pay and doesn't see the point of an unnecessary waste of money?!
If you had your gas on for 3 different dinners every night, even after 1 month you'd more than likely change to a communal nightly meal.

I don't see why not wasting money is being a 'slave'.

Do you leave lights on in every room in your house to prove your 'freedom from the machine'?


Why don't you explain your reservations to your guests/those you are with? It is less likely to be perceived as rude if you do so. I'm sure they'd understand.


Reject the invite and explain why?


If you very rarely eat with others, there's surely no problem?!

(PS the quote brackets kept refusing to be removed - apologies for the edits.)

Eating together is an ancient social occasion, the shared reward for a successful hunting expedition. Today it is often the only time in the day that a family unit sits together and communicates. Its viewed as rude to not eat something that another has invested time into preparing, so if its food I wont like, I ask for a half portion.
I think talking with food in your mouth is disgusting, little particles of food inevitably escape from someones mouth, yuck. I like barbeques, very informal and its possible to move away from messy eaters.

No problem.
Just wondering if others experience this. Your passionate reaction is interesting though. There is definitely something significant to interaction juxtaposed with food going on. It just doesn't make much sense to me.

Barbecues are more tolerable for me too. You can wander.

For those who are a good cook, I don't mind so much. My problem is with people who don't cook things correctly, especially if they under season the food.

Years ago, I had a case of the flu (or something similar) that left me without much sense of smell. After that, I couldn't tell the difference in flavor between a hamburger and a chinese buffet. The only thing that had any flavor at all was Indian food -- prior to that case of the flu, I couldn't stand Indian food because it was far too much.

After several years, a little bit of the smell seems to have returned, but it isn't much and is rather undependable. I often "smell" things that nobody else can find. More than once I've had one or another relative see if they could smell the burning rubber smoke that I thought I could smell -- they never have."

But I can taste some food provided it is well enough seasoned. Most people don't season it enough to suit me. Conversely, there's not all that many people who enjoy eating my cooking.

I'm also allergic to peanuts and have serious problems with cheese. Any time I go somewhere to eat, I always have to ask about these. On one occasion, the hostess served me something with cheese in it while swearing that it didn't have cheese. I could tell it had cheese from my reaction just sticking it to my tongue. It was premixed and the cheese was not indicated on the front of the label, but apparently it was listed in the ingredients. The next day, after I was close to vomiting all night long, she apologized for her error.

Not passionate, just getting to the point.

It's very easy to tell someone what they want to hear i.e. 'yeah, what's with that?' then have a thread full of complaints - but it only breeds negativity and doesn't actually help. Good explanations/concise answers could save you spending hours on a forum when you could be doing something else. Or maybe I'm missing the point here

I think the point is fairly straightforward. Curiosity really. I wonder why you interpret my post as negative. I wasn't complaining as much as inquiring. I had my Mom for dinner tonight - made her trout and peas. She was very appreciative.

I don't - in your initial post you asked specific questions - I gave an answer to each one.

That's not negative - simply accurate.

I didn't say you were being negative. I said I wasn't being negative.

I wasn't looking to start a thread of complaints.

Read through this thread/my posts in a few days when you can see objectively.

I'm out.